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It Has Taken Time (Anonymous)

April 22, 2010

This is such a wonderful place for mothers to come! I recently stumbled upon this place while I was searching on facebook for different groups, and I am so so glad I did!

I have honestly always had body issues… I don’t know if it was learned from my mother, or from the society we are living in these days. Looking back I can see how silly I was, how could I have ever comlplained about the youthfull body I had? Crazy as it is I find myself doing the same thing now. It seems it is an everyday battle for me… certain days I defeat the doubt and shame I feel about the stretched out skin, leftover weight and oh of course those stretchmarks. Other days I let the mirror and my lack of self-esteem get the best of me. So ten years from now I wonder if I will be looking back again and thinking how silly I was to complain ( Probably will! haha).

I was married at 21 years old. My husband is an active duty Marine and was deployed twice within the first 3 years of our marriage… We finally got pregnant two months after he returned from his second deployment, I was 24. I had no idea what was in store for me! My mother has always been very slender and I thought I would take after her and only gain about 20 lbs during my pregnancy and bounce right back. Well it started off well… no morning sickness, nothing but the minor aches here and there and a lot of swelling during the end of the pregnancy. I turned 25 during my 7th month. Then ate my way through Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years LOL. My due date came and went. I was finally induced at almost 42 weeks!! The day I was induced they weighed me in at 198 lbs (When I found out I was pregnant I was at 140 lbs). Well, my son and I didn’t do well with Pitocin and so there was an emergency c-section. The week I came home was interesting to say the least. I remember asking my Mom a few times if the flap of skin hanging over my incision would be permanent.. I was so scared! She told me not to worry, but I was still horrified at how I looked.

I have often described myself as an optimistic person, but wasting so much on doubting myself and concentrating on negative things is totally not being an optimistic person. It is a struggle no doubt… but I think I am coming closer and closer to being at peace with my post baby body. It has been 2 years and 2 months since my wonderful perfect amazing son was born and I would have never imagined it would have taken this long to start feeling more like myself and more comfortable with who I am today. I still have an extra 10 lbs of preggo weight… I still have the stretchmarks, although they have continued to very slowly fade. My c-section scar has lightened… and I have gained back some muscle tone after starting a workout plan.

Motherhood has taught me so many things already, and to think of the many years I have ahead :) A big thank you to all the ladies who have posted their stories and shared their feelings.. it really has helped me feel like I am not alone. Here are a few pictures I took yesterday. My stretchmarks are tricky… every single angle they will appear different… sometimes in the right light you can’t see them… sometimes they look pink… sometimes silver or white, they are such funny things. I used to have such intense hatred for them, but I have gotten better at accepting them. When I bend over my “skin apron” appears. I have a wrinkle under my bellybutton, especially when I suck in my tummy. I have an old scar on my hip which blends in pretty well with the larger stretchmarks LOL. With all that said… I have to remind myself that along with those “imperfections” I have been given the most precious gift in the world, my son.

Updated here.

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14 Responses to “It Has Taken Time (Anonymous)”

  1. kat Says:
    April 22nd, 2010 at 7:31 am

    I thought those were “before” pics lol! You look great!!! I really mean that. You will be wondering why you were so hard on yourself. Enjoy your body!!!

  2. Kerry Says:
    April 22nd, 2010 at 8:25 am

    You look amazing!!! How far postpartum are you? You can barely see your stretchmarks and your belly is so smooth! I dont see ANY wrinkles. And extra weight?? Where? Girl you are gorgeous!

  3. kimber Says:
    April 22nd, 2010 at 8:37 am

    we’re almost tummy twins except yours is much tanner/better looking … but besides that, the same! haha:) great post!

  4. tanya Says:
    April 22nd, 2010 at 9:24 am

    you really do look amazing!!! i hope you can see that cuz you are gorgeous! :)

  5. Shannon Says:
    April 22nd, 2010 at 10:23 am

    You look amazing! I am 23, and have had 2 cesareans. The first was 3.5 years ago and the second was 1 year ago…I hope I look like you in another year! I still have the small overhang (more like a ledge!), loose skin, and lots of stretch marks (which I like!). Did you get any abdominal separation? I got about 1.5 inches…I am hoping it does not prevent me from tightening my tummy :) You look wonderful :)

  6. mea Says:
    April 22nd, 2010 at 10:59 am

    umm…you look great!

  7. Ashley Says:
    April 22nd, 2010 at 11:26 am

    You look great, I’m still pregnant and I’m jealous, I hope my body bounces back as nicely as yours.

  8. suzanne Says:
    April 22nd, 2010 at 11:33 am

    want to share any work out tips?

  9. Nici Says:
    April 22nd, 2010 at 1:31 pm

    This being a website to empower women to feel good about there bodies I feel hesitant about telling you how good you look because the stretch marks are slight, you look slender, or you’re tan. To me it looks like you’ve carried a child. You’re body is different than a 14 year old’s body which is glorified and stands as the model for what a woman’s body should look like. But that is exactly what makes it beautiful.

  10. (It has taken time) Says:
    April 23rd, 2010 at 10:59 am

    Kerry, I am 2 years and almost 3 months postpartum.. it has honestly taken that long for my body to recover!! I don’t know why but I always had thought it would only take a couple months after birth to start looking “normal” again (really silly of me to have ever thought that!!!). By normal I also mean comfortable with myself too… and thank you SO much for the compliments, you are all so wonderful!

    Shannon, I did get some abdominal seperation. It was mostly an inch or two above and below my belly button where I could fee;/see it the most. I think around 1 year postpartum is when it started getting better, and after I started going to the gyma nd walking is when I could tell a major difference.

    Suzanne, what has helped me the most is walking, I like to walk during the afternoon before or after lunch or in the evening before the sun sets. Strength training with a stability ball and band too, I actually got a set at Walmart that came with a DVD and everything!

    Nici, thank you very very much. You are so right, and i think thats exactly how my husband feels now that I think about it… thank you all so much.

  11. Jenna Says:
    May 5th, 2010 at 7:46 pm

    You look fantastic! I love your body shape.

  12. Jensy Says:
    May 10th, 2010 at 2:03 pm

    I guess we all have our own view of how we look. For me to look at you makes me depressed…as in “if this girl thinks she looks bad while looking better than I did BEFORE pregnancy….god I must look terrible” then again, maybe one of the really really big women would feel the same looking at me, I dont know.

  13. Rena Says:
    July 12th, 2012 at 11:11 am

    I dont see anything anywhere that isnt gorgeous!!!

  14. Amber Says:
    November 2nd, 2012 at 7:00 am

    Can’t believe it has already been a few years since I posted this!!! My son will be turning FIVE in a couple months! I also was blessed with another baby boy one year ago!!!!! After reading my original post I think I would like to post an update :)
    I still love this site and wish even more women knew about it. Although I still have my struggles with my body image I also am happy to say I can find things about it that I love. Love conquers all, right!?

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