This is such a wonderful place for mothers to come! I recently stumbled upon this place while I was searching on facebook for different groups, and I am so so glad I did!
I have honestly always had body issues… I don’t know if it was learned from my mother, or from the society we are living in these days. Looking back I can see how silly I was, how could I have ever comlplained about the youthfull body I had? Crazy as it is I find myself doing the same thing now. It seems it is an everyday battle for me… certain days I defeat the doubt and shame I feel about the stretched out skin, leftover weight and oh of course those stretchmarks. Other days I let the mirror and my lack of self-esteem get the best of me. So ten years from now I wonder if I will be looking back again and thinking how silly I was to complain ( Probably will! haha).
I was married at 21 years old. My husband is an active duty Marine and was deployed twice within the first 3 years of our marriage… We finally got pregnant two months after he returned from his second deployment, I was 24. I had no idea what was in store for me! My mother has always been very slender and I thought I would take after her and only gain about 20 lbs during my pregnancy and bounce right back. Well it started off well… no morning sickness, nothing but the minor aches here and there and a lot of swelling during the end of the pregnancy. I turned 25 during my 7th month. Then ate my way through Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years LOL. My due date came and went. I was finally induced at almost 42 weeks!! The day I was induced they weighed me in at 198 lbs (When I found out I was pregnant I was at 140 lbs). Well, my son and I didn’t do well with Pitocin and so there was an emergency c-section. The week I came home was interesting to say the least. I remember asking my Mom a few times if the flap of skin hanging over my incision would be permanent.. I was so scared! She told me not to worry, but I was still horrified at how I looked.
I have often described myself as an optimistic person, but wasting so much on doubting myself and concentrating on negative things is totally not being an optimistic person. It is a struggle no doubt… but I think I am coming closer and closer to being at peace with my post baby body. It has been 2 years and 2 months since my wonderful perfect amazing son was born and I would have never imagined it would have taken this long to start feeling more like myself and more comfortable with who I am today. I still have an extra 10 lbs of preggo weight… I still have the stretchmarks, although they have continued to very slowly fade. My c-section scar has lightened… and I have gained back some muscle tone after starting a workout plan.
Motherhood has taught me so many things already, and to think of the many years I have ahead :) A big thank you to all the ladies who have posted their stories and shared their feelings.. it really has helped me feel like I am not alone. Here are a few pictures I took yesterday. My stretchmarks are tricky… every single angle they will appear different… sometimes in the right light you can’t see them… sometimes they look pink… sometimes silver or white, they are such funny things. I used to have such intense hatred for them, but I have gotten better at accepting them. When I bend over my “skin apron” appears. I have a wrinkle under my bellybutton, especially when I suck in my tummy. I have an old scar on my hip which blends in pretty well with the larger stretchmarks LOL. With all that said… I have to remind myself that along with those “imperfections” I have been given the most precious gift in the world, my son.