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I Absolutely Loathe My Stomach (Toby)

June 1, 2010

I have been trying to come to terms with my pp tummy for 5 years. I am only 24 but I feel like I am trapped in the body of an 80 year old woman. I am 5’7 and 150 lbs. I have two beautiful children ages 5 and 1. I work out at the gym regularly with only success of losing fat, I am still left with extra skin no matter what I do. It seems the more fat I lose, the more saggy I get. I guess this is just especially touchy for me because I work at a gym, and I have always been athletic but my goals are so unattainable right now. It is hard to see my friends (whom are also mothers) walk out of child birth unharmed, we work out together and while they have beautiful abs I have a layer of saggy squish hanging out on top of mine. I have stretch marks all over my love handles, inner thighs, and stomach. They are mostly where I have extra skin, and I would mind having those chopped off along with my extra skin. My love handles have grown tremendously throughout my pregnancies and it seems as if the squish is there to stay too. I won’t even get to my breasts, but they are just as bad as my stomach…described as..empty bags of sand I suppose. Some days I feel better about my body than others but there are days of all time lows as well. Seeing all of the other women on here does make me feel better about my situation, but only until I look in the mirror again. (And ohhh how those gym mirrors can be decieving!) Is it wrong to just want to go to a surgeon and get everything repaired to the way it was before? I hate my body :-( My children are my world, I would never take them back. I just wish I could fix myself! My husband is extremely supportive and says I am beautiful no matter what, my body has damaged my mind so much that I don’t take anything he says to heart, I just reply with a monotone “thanks, babe.” I plan on getting a tummy tuck and breast lift when I reach my goal weight (130) and when I hit the lottery. lol. Okay, thank goodness for financing… I try so hard to look past the vanity of it all and appreciate and embrace my body the way a mother should, but for me the reality is that I will not be completely healed inside and out until I am happy with my body. I’m sorry if I sounded like I’m throwing a big pity party, it’s just one of those days. Reading all of your stories has made me feel more thankful than I have been lately. Thank you all.

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14 Responses to “I Absolutely Loathe My Stomach (Toby)”

  1. k Says:
    June 1st, 2010 at 9:20 am

    I’m so sorry that you are feeling uncomfortable in your own skin. If its any consolation, you look better than many people who have never had any kids, and at least youre healthy. I dont have any kids yet myself but my mom had some extra skin like you do and I’m kind of worried I will get it too one day. I think there is an outpatient procedure nowhere near as invasive as a tummy tuck and not as expensive, its a laser treatment thats supposed to firm up skin, maybe that could help? Anyways, congrats on working out and being healthy and having 2 great kids. hope youre feeling better about stuff soon.

  2. Lucy Says:
    June 1st, 2010 at 10:05 am

    I think you look great… I wish I was that slim, and your tummy looks a lot better than you think it does. Maybe working at a gym is not the best place to work, but a different place could let you see how nice you look if you compare yourself with others.

  3. 16married17pregnant Says:
    June 1st, 2010 at 10:06 am

    omg we have like the SAME stomach..i know its so hard going from being skinny and having a smooth stomach to wanting to hide everything on ur body…im now 19yrs old with 2kids &my stomach looks just like yours(for real we could be belly twins)but im just a little bit bigger than you…but when i see you i think your beautiful-i just cant tell myself that…but good luck with everything and you have an amazing body and it did an amazing thing=)

  4. lo Says:
    June 1st, 2010 at 2:43 pm

    your a tummy twin with me and I hate mine too!!! I have the same goal as you in getting down to 130lbs(were both 5’7) good luck!! keep up the good work ;)

  5. Christina Says:
    June 1st, 2010 at 4:17 pm

    I understand how you feel. I have a 6 pack with wrinkly skin on top as well. I try not to get myself down about it too much. In my head I say my stomach looks 75yrs old, while I am 28. My family and friends all think I look great, but I am always self conscious about the tummy.

  6. Amy Says:
    June 2nd, 2010 at 2:10 am

    Hi, First i just want to say that i really sympathise- i am into the gym and being fit too and it does upset me when i see other women’s stomachs who are smoother and wrinkle free. secondly, i just wanted to say that you are only 1 year or so pp (based on the age of your youngest). Maybe your tum was similar prior, but i just wanted to try and add a ray of hope that your body may still be repairing- i know for me i did notice a difference after 20mths pp, (i am 22mths pp at mo). I know it’s hard when your body has been a source of happiness to see it change so dramatically- my only consolation is that you are not alone. Yes, i can see that you’ve had kids, but i can also see that you are toned and healthy and so can your husband, you should try and believe him!

  7. N Says:
    June 2nd, 2010 at 6:34 am

    I know exactly how you feel!!! I have had 3 children and my stomach looks a lot like yours….Everyone keeps telling me to just tone and keep trying to remind them that extra stretched skin full of stretchmarks doesn’t tone!! I also want to get a tummy tuck….when I am back down to my goal weight. Good Luck!

  8. Christina Says:
    June 3rd, 2010 at 6:33 pm

    Can I just say that your post sounds like something I could have written?

    I am 24 years old with a 3 year old and a 2 month old. My stomach looks almost identical to yours (except worse since I am only 2 months postpartum) and I feel the same way as you – I just want to fix it! I see others who snap back with no stretch marks and look better than they have ever looked. It’s a horrible feeling to see that and then look at yourself and wonder what is wrong with me??? I guess I just want you to know that you are not alone, and your stomach (and mine!) are absolutely normal. Our children are worth it!

  9. Andrea Says:
    June 8th, 2010 at 3:00 am

    If a tummy tuck and breast lift will make you feel better, then I say go for it. I think it’s more important for US to say to ourselves “Hey, you look really good” and mean it, than for our husband to say the same thing. Yes, our children are worth it… but so are we. :) Good luck with your plastic surgery.

  10. den Says:
    June 17th, 2010 at 4:41 am

    You look hot and good luck with the tummy tuck. My tummy’s like yours too but I still have 5 more kilograms to lose. I’m 3 years PP and I’ve actually decided not to have the tummy tuck – now the fat’s actually comin off and I’m left with this scrotum/ elbow skin around my belly button, I’m growing to actually love it and be proud of it.

  11. Diana Says:
    June 21st, 2010 at 11:21 am

    I am nearly 4 months postpartum with only one child and look about the same as you do. When I lose weight my belly gets more wrinkley so I also am serious about a tummy tuck. I hope all goes well for you.

  12. Kristin Says:
    July 5th, 2010 at 11:43 am

    Thank you for posting and sharing your pictures and your feelings. I think it’s just as important to hear stories from women who are loathing their bodies as it is to hear stories from women who are embracing it. EVERY feeling is normal, from the good to the bad and everything in between. I am also hating my body (I’m 24 y/o and due any day with my 3rd child, and I’m absolutely dreading looking in the mirror after this), so it’s good to hear that there are other moms out there who feel like me – helps me feel more “normal” instead of thinking that I “should” be happy and embracing my body when I’m just not ready to do that yet. Anyways, your story is important, thank you for sharing it.

  13. Umma Says:
    July 22nd, 2010 at 12:40 am

    you look fine. i’d get a tummy tuck just to have your tummy! better a little wrinkled then pooched out looking 6 months preggo like me (though i’m not preggo at all!)

  14. liz Says:
    September 9th, 2011 at 10:30 am

    I understand exactly the way you feel, especially being fit. Your tummy is something you cannot change. Mine was a bit worse than yours (I am 5’1 with a short torso) but I just had a tummy tuck 2 months ago, and it’s the best thing I have ever done. I still work out daily, and now I feel like I have my old body back. I love my 3 boys, and having the tummy tuck still left me with a few stretch marks, which I love, because I still have a reminder of who I was when I carried each one of them. I wouldn’t give that up for a second, but do not need to be solely defined as a mom. I am also Liz.

    Good luck with whatever your decision!

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