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Blooming Second Pregnancy (Anonymous)

March 17, 2011

This is my second pregnancy and I am 33 weeks now and as with my first pregnancy I am absolutely massive. I am a proud 32 year old mummy of a lovely 6 year old girl delivered via emergency c section and hoping for a natural birth this time round. Must admit not relishing the challenge of getting rid of the jelly belly once baby is here!!!

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15 Responses to “Blooming Second Pregnancy (Anonymous)”

  1. Renee Says:
    March 17th, 2011 at 11:18 am

    Congratulations! I hope your VBAC goes well and you and your baby are healthy and happy! I too hope for a successful VBAC one day. :-)

  2. Kerry Says:
    March 17th, 2011 at 11:37 am

    You are glowing! So beautiful!

    and can I ask where you found that floral wall paper? I’m in love with it!

  3. Catherine S Says:
    March 17th, 2011 at 2:25 pm

    You look amazing and beautiful!! You CAN have a natural and safe birth after a cesarean:) I am a 30 something mother of 2 boys and had a VBAC almost 10 months ago. It was an amazing, uncomplicated birth and am thankful every day for the support I got. If you haven’t already, you may look into getting in touch with your local chapter of ICAN. Best wishes for a wonderful and healthy birth!

  4. anonymous Says:
    March 18th, 2011 at 1:13 am

    Hi,
    I am so anxious to have a normal birth this time. I don’t think I bonded with my daughter immediately last time, due to a very, very long labour and an emcs.
    It really encourages me to hear from ladies who have achieved vbac. I want to feel that rush of love you get for the baby that sadly didn’t have with my daughter as was so tired, vomitting and generally out of it. Of course I bonded with her in the end and she is my little star now.

    X x x x

  5. amber Says:
    March 18th, 2011 at 6:20 am

    gorgeous mom!

  6. Bonnie (SOAM) Says:
    March 18th, 2011 at 8:06 am

    For the record, I had a really gentle and beautiful homebirth and I still didn’t feel a bond with my daugter right away. Sometimes I think that’s normal. Becoming a mother is so overwhelming. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try for a better birth experience for yourself, but at least in my experience, the two were not linked.

  7. anonymous Says:
    March 18th, 2011 at 8:52 am

    I’m in a way glad to hear that Bonnie, I felt terrible admitting to friends etc that I didn’t experience that rush and immediate bond that they all seemed to have (none of them had c sections).
    I have the option to have an elective c section but as long as its safe for me to do so my aim is to go for vbac. I will just have to see how things pan out. My main thing is that my baby is delivered safely and is healthy!! :-) x

  8. Bonnie (SOAM) Says:
    March 18th, 2011 at 9:12 am

    You are NOT alone, promise. I remember when my daughter was about 8ish months old, I sat around with some moms I’d met in our childbirth classes (so our babies were all the same ages) and we discussed this – and most of us hadn’t felt that bond right away. We’d all been too afraid to say anything, but were so relieved to hear we weren’t alone or bad or anything. Everyone is different. And IME, not having that BOND right away has absolutely NOTHING to do with how much you LOVE your baby. It’s just, like I said below, a lot to take in all at once. Hugs, mama.

  9. Ashley Says:
    March 18th, 2011 at 11:35 am

    You can do it! I had an awesome VBAC 3 months ago! Best experience EVER, it was so worth it!

  10. Catherine S Says:
    March 18th, 2011 at 2:43 pm

    There really doesn’t seem to be any formula to the baby bonding experience. One of my friends has had a primary CS for FTP, a CBAC after a homebirth attempt (OP baby), and a VBAC. She felt the strongest immediate bond with her CBAC even though that was her biggest disappointment birth wise.

    I felt a greater immediate bond with my vbac baby, but not sure how much of that was birth experience or just personalities. My first son is fiercely independent and was a very fussy baby. My 2nd son is much easier going and didn’t cry nearly as much. I guess what I am saying is who knows:)

    I think because of the really high CS rate in this country, more and more women are educating themselves about vbac. In many, many cases, it is possible even if you are told you are a “bad” candidate. We just had a mom in our local chapter of ICAN give birth to triplets via VBAC after 2 CS!! This is the 2nd mom to VBAC triplets in the last year. Both in a hospital with a very supportive OB.

    It is AMAZING what women can do when they are supported! You will totally rock your VBAC birth!

  11. Michelle Says:
    March 18th, 2011 at 6:47 pm

    Ok, I am so happy someone said they didn’t bond right away. I thought I was the only one. It took me sometime to get the bond going with my baby but now I can’t get enough of him.

  12. Sheila Says:
    March 20th, 2011 at 9:30 pm

    Bonnie, that was one of the best things a good friend ever told me before my son was born :) I didn’t feel overwhelming love and joy just after birth either… more like just overwhelmed. It has always taken me a while to get to know people and fall in love. Now I love him more than I ever thought it possible to love anyone else :)

  13. anonymous Says:
    March 21st, 2011 at 1:44 am

    Thanks guys, all these comments are really encouraging for me. Not just regarding the VBAC but also bonding.
    I kind of felt a bit of a failure regarding my daughters birth as had to have an emergency c section and to be honest felt no bond straight away and was a bit disinterested in this baby I’d been longing for.
    So it’s nice to know I’m not alone and I’m not abnormal. I’m really looking forward to this birth now, come what may!! X x

  14. Mikayla Says:
    March 24th, 2011 at 7:07 pm

    Hi,

    I had an emergency c-section due to preecclampsia at term with my first child (now 19mo) before I even went into labor. For the first couple of hours after birth, due to the hospital’s procedures, I didn’t even get to hold him. I didn’t bond with my wonderful son for quite some time, and struggled with the transition to motherhood. I thought perhaps because we’d both missed out on the labor hormones, and the post-delivery hormone rush that the bonding was adversely affected.

    I was determined to do VBAC for my second child (now almost 3 months.) I ended up having to go for a home birth in order to maximise my chances of that happening. The labor was long, but not too taxing until the last few hours. When my little girl was born, I didn’t feel that rush endorphins, no discernible hormonal surge that gave me an instant love for her. In fact, I looked at her blankly and said “she looks like an alien!”

    I now adore her as much as my son.

    Just as every woman is different, every birth is different. Some women (some times?) get that hormonal love rush. I think that’s great. However, even if you don’t, the fact of the beauty and nobility of bringing life into the world is undiminished. And mothers learn to love their children.

    I do hope you have a wonderful VBAC (I hope you have a doula to help you!) I also hope get that rush. That would be fabulous. Even if it doesn’t happen, remember that it’s only a bonus anyway. Whatever happens, it’s clear to me that you’ll have done your utmost to ensure you and your baby have a great first “meeting.” Nobody can ask any more of someone than they try their best.

  15. anonymous Says:
    March 28th, 2011 at 10:18 am

    Hi,
    I’ve been for an ante natal appointment today at the hospital. It’s all go for a VBAC. It’s comforting to know that I’m not alone in feeling no immediate attachment. I remember thinking how red, swollen and squished my daughter looked. I automatically felt bad because I didn’t immediately think she was the cutest thing ever.
    This time I’m more mentally prepared for what’s to come and the variety of emotions that come with labour and birth. I just want to enjoy it a bit more. :-)

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