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Big Tee & Little Tee (Tee)

April 13, 2010

Age: 26
Pregnancies/births: 1 pregnancy, 1 birth
Age of child: 5

I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant and I was scared to death. I was a junior in college, my boyfriend (now husband) was stationed in another state and neither of us knew anything about babies. We had tons of support from our family and without them I can’t imagine what kind of shape we’d have been in. I was about 115 when I got pregnant and gained 65 pounds during the pregnancy. My mom told me not to worry about it “you’re young-you’ll bounce right back!” After 19 hours of labor, a swift bikini cut and a few stitches, we met our brand new 10 pound baby. Everyone was impressed that itty bitty me birthed such a huge baby, I was just glad it was over. Between trying to finish school during the day, going to work in the afternoon and sometimes going back to school in the evening, going home and spending time with my daughter and studying for the next test (husband by now came home as often as he could but got deployed to Iraq when she was 8 months) weight took a back seat. It was a fleeting thought from time to time but I had an already full plate. By her first birthday (and my college graduation which happened to be on the same day), I had dropped most of the baby weight and my stomach went down but it wasn’t flat. Soon after, I started trying everything-diets, exercise, pure starvation-no matter what I did, I could not lose this pooch. I kept thinking I’d never get into a bikini again. My husband has never been anything less than amazing when it comes to my body and in fact, prefers the softer curvier me. I love everything else about my body so I never let it totally overtake me but the stomach was an issue. I’d still wear bikinis, but I’d just put a shirt over it or something to hide it.

I thought I wasn’t making a big deal of it and then my daughter (then 3) asked me one day why I was wearing a shirt in the pool. I said “it’s what mommy’s do” and she pointed out about 4 or 5 other women at the pool who didn’t have on shirts and said “they’re mommy’s too and they don’t have on shirts”. So I took off my shirt to appease her-she was delighted of course but my insides were screaming and I was mortified. But I felt I had to keep on a brave front because I definitely didn’t want her to pick up on it or worse-develop an unhealthy body image of herself. I’m not sure what I thought was going to happen (the world would come to an abrupt halt maybe? Who knows) but absolutely NOTHING happened. And it was in that moment that I realized I was being ridiculous. Ok, the stomach’s not flat and there are plenty of stretch marks but you know what? I had a freaking 10 lb baby. She’s healthy, happy and the love of my life. I don’t diet, I don’t take pills, I do exercise but only because I sit down at work all day and it breaks up the monotony for me. My husband adores me and we have an absolutely wonderful family. I’m blessed and couldn’t ask for much more. And when I’m at the beach or pool-I’m in my bikini, running around playing with my happy and healthy daughter-jelly belly and all. It won’t consume you if you don’t let it.

I’m attaching pics

Pre-pregnancy (blurry but you get the idea), day of delivery, today and Big Tee & Little Tee

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12 Responses to “Big Tee & Little Tee (Tee)”

  1. Kerry Says:
    April 13th, 2010 at 12:31 pm

    I loved reading your story, it often takes the untainted view of a child to realize how screwed up ours are. You look great! Most days I feel confident but I dont see myself ever wearing a bikini again, maybe I will have to try it this year!

  2. Shanyn Says:
    April 13th, 2010 at 2:29 pm

    You’re gorgeous!! And good for you..it’s amazing when our little people set us straight isn’t it? ;)

  3. Mary V Says:
    April 13th, 2010 at 3:10 pm

    So cute! And you can def. rock a bikini, you look amazing… and having a 10lb baby, go mama!

  4. Khanna Says:
    April 13th, 2010 at 3:17 pm

    Finally a black person on here, there was one other. But no one that related to me. Girl I had a 12 pound baby(twins 6 pd each c-section) was 113 pds 5’7. Lost all my weight but still have my mommy pouch also. Im 4 weeks PP and I’m thinking it’ll never go away but I hope that I my tummy looks close to yours cause I still have sagging skin. I will post my pics in a few more weeks… But you are beautiful and only you can show your daughter how to love herself also….

  5. nirinleant Says:
    April 13th, 2010 at 7:27 pm

    you look great.. and i think you even look better after having your baby.. your body is amazing.. there is nothing to be shame about.. just keep your head up high and be confident…i like your attitude

  6. Quinchela Says:
    April 14th, 2010 at 10:00 am

    I’m glad to see another black person too! I love this post! You look fantastic! I will post my story one day soon. I am currently working on my body. I am 4’11″ and was 126 when I got pregnant and now I am 116. My ideal weight is 110-115. I have a small pooch that I am working on with lower ab work. My little girl is almost 15 months. I am feeling strong and confident and loving the way my body is getting better with my exercise and proper eating (I dont like dieting).

  7. Olivia Says:
    April 14th, 2010 at 10:50 am

    you look great and I love your view…very similar to myself I was also a very scared 19 year old when I found out I was pregnant and now I have a beautiful 4 year old son ..everything our bodies went thru was well worth it! :)

  8. Kimberly Says:
    April 14th, 2010 at 6:24 pm

    You are gorgeous inside and out!

  9. Sarah Says:
    April 14th, 2010 at 8:42 pm

    Um, you basically look amazing in a bikini and I’m very jealous!!!

  10. Aileen Says:
    April 23rd, 2010 at 12:17 am

    Good for you for caring about your daughter enough to push aside your own discomfort and not hide your body. My own mother had so much shame about her body if it wasn’t tiny, and I inherited much of that shame too. I wish I grew up in a family where we didn’t talk so much about/ fixate on weight, because even now at 25 I have to unlearn a lot of my unhealthy habits.

    As for your before and after pics–yes, you had a cute little body before… but you definitely look more womanly now, as opposed to looking like a teen. I have to agree with your hubby… your after pic is def. sexier and beautiful.

  11. Anonymous Says:
    April 30th, 2010 at 12:34 pm

    Wait, what were you hiding under that tee-shirt?! I don’t see anything wrong with that belly!

  12. Jenna Says:
    May 12th, 2010 at 12:38 pm

    Loved your story! You look great in that bikini, and the suit is cute, too. The part where you took your shirt off at the pool for your daughter made me smile.

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