Number of pregnancies and births: 1 pregnancy, 1 birth
Age of my child: 17 weeks (4 months, 1 week)
I have always wanted to post something on this amazing site, but just never had the courage. I looked at this site religiously throughout my entire pregnancy, knowing that I would have a hard time coping with my post-pregancy body. So, now I’ve decided to share my story, in hopes that someone can relate to me or offer any input.
I found out I was pregnant on January 14th, 2009. I had always wanted children (as I am the 1st of 8 and love being around kids). So, I absolutely enjoyed my entire pregnancy! At 8 weeks pregnant, I was diagnosed with a subchorionic hemmorage and put on bedrest for 3 weeks. I was absolutely terrified that I would lose my daughter and was, needless to say, ecstatic to find out that the blood clot literally thinned out and disappeared while I was on bedrest.
On September 16th, 2009 at 40 weeks and 2 days pregnant I went into labor. It was so crazy because I was obsessed with being pregant and even more so about being able to survive the pain of labor. But when I actually went into labor, I had no idea that was what was happening. I thought I just had gas or something:)!. When I got to the hospital i was already 7 centimeters dialated. But an hour later, my daughter’s heart rate was dropping and I ended up having an unwanted c-section. My beautiful baby girl was born at 6:35am at 8lbs, 4oz.!!
Today my baby is 4 months old and absolutely the best thing that has ever happended to me. I literally did not know love until I held her in my arms! There is nothing like it–she is my everything!! The only thing is I am slowly becoming sad and unaccepting of my new body. I was always a really skinnny person. Before I was pregnant, I weighed about 127 lbs. I gained 42 lbs throughout my pregnancy and weighed in at 169 the day she was born. Throughout the pregnancy, I was excited about gaining weight, just knowing there was a little person in me growing! But now that she is here, I want my old stomach back. I now weigh 145 lbs and my stomach is so foreign to me. Everyone at work keeps saying, “you don’t even look like you had a child”. I just smile and say to myself, “that’s just cause I’m hiding behind these clothes and sucking it in every now and then”. What’s wrong with me? I’m not fat, but I can only explain it by saying that when you are small for 27 years and all of a sudden you have fat hanging over your jeans, you go from a size 3/4 to 7 or 9 (depending), it’s hard to get used to it.
I love my daugther so much and would do my whole pregnancy over 1 million times if I had to. But if I could just flatten this tummy, I would be happier. I don’t mind the weight, but I got very little stretch marks on my belly (more on my thighs) and want to get into a bikini again, but not with this belly! I hope it will get better with time; I want to run/workout, but I don’t know where to start since I never had to?? I have a ton of clothes and can’t fit any of them, so each time I reach for a shirt or pants to put on and have to take it off cause something’s hanging over or poking out, I get pissed and frustrated. Hopefully this will get better. Holding and playing with my daughter makes it feel better, though. Thanks for listening to my story. All you mothers out there are truly beautiful, strong, and inspiring.
Picture#1: Me pre-pregnancy
Picture #2: Me 8 months pregnant
Picture #3: My beautiful daughter (Shaila)
Picture #4 and #5: My stomach now at 4 months postpartum