I came across your site after seeing it in the DM, I don’t feel easier, (yet) but am glad I am not alone.
I have never been a size 8, always a 12/14, after my daughter was born a size 14 was most comfortable. I grew up with a women who made food and weight a bit issue in the house, it never bothered me back then, but in this pregnancy all my insecurities are coming out.
It started when I went for my 12 week scan, and the midwife basically told me I was to fat too see the baby properly, at this point I should say I am 5ft 4 and weighed round 10ish stone, I have PCOS and my stomach has always been bloated and to top it off I have a anterior placenta.
It didn’t help though, I walked out the scan room in tears, I chucked out my scales and swore to cut back on food, and for 6 weeks I did, and my weight levelled. Having no will power, I started comfort eating, I still do, every day I look at my body in disgust trying not to cry, I love being pregnant, but can’t handle the changes that are happening. I have a friend who is 5 weeks behind me, she knows my issues, yet she is always going on about how the MW says she’s a perfect weight, and her scan was fantastic because she is so thin :( I tend to avoid her now.
I love being pregnant and having a bump, its the excess skin under it I hate, I have no fat any were else really, bar normal weight gain on chin/arms/ankles which I know I will lose slowly after birth, I just cannot stand my stomach. My husband is fed up with it, doesn’t understand, I don’t expect him too.
All the things that were thrown at me as I was growing up haunt me every time I eat, guilt hitting me but I can’t stop. My (ex) mother always made out fat people to be bad and disgusting and lazy (who I feel I am today :()
Its really getting to me, I have 13 weeks left, and I don’t know how I am going to get through without going mad with worry how I am going to deal with my body after, I am scared my weight means I am going to have a 9/10lb baby and that frightens me, I have no motivation to exercise and all my hubby wants to eat is junk, I try healthy eating but he then promptly has a second meal as he is still hungry I end up eating again and feel guilty about my stomach and the poor boy inside!
I read the papers every day, I see all over face book these slim women who have bounced back to shape and get so jealous, so finding your site, I hope to seek comfort here, bouncing back to nothing isn’t the norm, to have a belly and stretch marks is nothing to be ashamed of, I just wish I could believe it, and live by that, but currently I can’t :(
Society and it’s size 0 perfect body mentality sucks
Pic added I was 23 weeks 5 days I refuse to let the camera near me now, yes I well and truly edited it to hide the rankness!
I currently have one child who is 2yrs 6mths and 7months pregnant