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7 Months Pregnant and Scared (Anonymous)

May 9, 2012

I came across your site after seeing it in the DM, I don’t feel easier, (yet) but am glad I am not alone.

I have never been a size 8, always a 12/14, after my daughter was born a size 14 was most comfortable. I grew up with a women who made food and weight a bit issue in the house, it never bothered me back then, but in this pregnancy all my insecurities are coming out.
It started when I went for my 12 week scan, and the midwife basically told me I was to fat too see the baby properly, at this point I should say I am 5ft 4 and weighed round 10ish stone, I have PCOS and my stomach has always been bloated and to top it off I have a anterior placenta.
It didn’t help though, I walked out the scan room in tears, I chucked out my scales and swore to cut back on food, and for 6 weeks I did, and my weight levelled. Having no will power, I started comfort eating, I still do, every day I look at my body in disgust trying not to cry, I love being pregnant, but can’t handle the changes that are happening. I have a friend who is 5 weeks behind me, she knows my issues, yet she is always going on about how the MW says she’s a perfect weight, and her scan was fantastic because she is so thin :( I tend to avoid her now.
I love being pregnant and having a bump, its the excess skin under it I hate, I have no fat any were else really, bar normal weight gain on chin/arms/ankles which I know I will lose slowly after birth, I just cannot stand my stomach. My husband is fed up with it, doesn’t understand, I don’t expect him too.

All the things that were thrown at me as I was growing up haunt me every time I eat, guilt hitting me but I can’t stop. My (ex) mother always made out fat people to be bad and disgusting and lazy (who I feel I am today :( )

Its really getting to me, I have 13 weeks left, and I don’t know how I am going to get through without going mad with worry how I am going to deal with my body after, I am scared my weight means I am going to have a 9/10lb baby and that frightens me, I have no motivation to exercise and all my hubby wants to eat is junk, I try healthy eating but he then promptly has a second meal as he is still hungry I end up eating again and feel guilty about my stomach and the poor boy inside!

I read the papers every day, I see all over face book these slim women who have bounced back to shape and get so jealous, so finding your site, I hope to seek comfort here, bouncing back to nothing isn’t the norm, to have a belly and stretch marks is nothing to be ashamed of, I just wish I could believe it, and live by that, but currently I can’t :(

Society and it’s size 0 perfect body mentality sucks

Pic added I was 23 weeks 5 days I refuse to let the camera near me now, yes I well and truly edited it to hide the rankness!

Age: 30
I currently have one child who is 2yrs 6mths and 7months pregnant

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11 Responses to “7 Months Pregnant and Scared (Anonymous)”

  1. Amanda Says:
    May 9th, 2012 at 8:10 am

    You look beautiful! That shot is amazing. My jaw seriously dropped!

    Don’t let anyone let you feel fat or lazy. I can tell you are not! You are growing a human inside you and you have children. You can’t be lazy.

    Who cares about size 0 that looks disgusting! I think a size 12/14 is amazing. Just cause it’s double digits doesn’t mean anything. That is small.

    I have a lot of self conscious issues with my stomach too. I can spend hours in the bathroom tugging at the skin trying to make it look not disgusting but, it’s going to stay that way. We have to learn to love us!

  2. Stacy Says:
    May 9th, 2012 at 6:58 pm

    You look amazing! So sexy, so sensual. I wish you Saw what I see…

  3. Stacy Says:
    May 9th, 2012 at 11:00 pm

    You are stunning in this shot. Love your curves and the shape of your belly!

  4. D Says:
    May 10th, 2012 at 8:33 am

    That is a beautiful picture. You look amazing and don’t let anyone tell you or make you feel otherwise.

    Amanda, why is calling someone who is a size 0 disgusting ok? It’s just as wrong as when someone uses language like that to describe a size 20. Women will continue to feel degraded until ALL body shapes and sizes are accepted.

  5. Sue Says:
    May 10th, 2012 at 11:12 am

    Sweetie! You look marvellous! A 12/14 is a perfect size, size 0 is anorectic. Love your body, at some point you’ll maybe find the strenght to change the food and exercise but as long as you are somewhat healthy and takes godo care of your kids, then it’s not important. As long as your body will take you to the grandchildren it’s ok. And you know, dudes like curves! ;)

  6. Alison Says:
    May 10th, 2012 at 12:06 pm

    You do look incredible. Beautiful.
    Maybe the whole journey of parenthood is bringing up issues so that you have a chance to deal with them? The issue not being your body or weight but all the messages you picked up about who you are and what you are worth.
    I was at least 15 pounds overweight when I got pregnant and have been gaining plenty of weight since but my ultrasound was fine. I think something else was going on and your midwife needs replacing.
    Maybe finding someone to support you while you address these issues would be the most helpful and empowering in the long run?
    Take Care!

  7. Helen Says:
    May 12th, 2012 at 6:07 pm

    I think you look amazing! Pregnant bodies are so inspiring. To able to produce something so magical and beautiful as life itself is a gift only given to us women. It’s such a shame that people who are supposed to support you and care for you at this precious time would belittle and berate the body that creates this little soul. You’re already so brave for sharing your story and your picture, (and I think you look fantastic in it) keep reminding yourself that you are the vessel that carried your child and kept him/her safe. No-one else could do that.Stay brave and be proud!Take care honey xxx

  8. Corinne Says:
    May 13th, 2012 at 6:24 pm

    Wow, you look amazing! Seriously!
    I wish I would have had a pic like this.

  9. Jessie Says:
    May 18th, 2012 at 9:49 am

    STUNNING!

  10. Joelle Says:
    June 4th, 2012 at 7:20 pm

    What caught me in your story was the whole size 0 mentality in society. I USED to be a size 0-1. Never in my life have I felt to unhealthy and handled name calling of being anorexic. I am naturally tiny and naturally have a fast metabolism, so I stayed at a size 0-1 until I got pregnant. I felt ugly being a size 0-1, too skinny and no curves. The media may show it to be sexy, but it truly sucks to be that tiny. My own husband even said I needed some meat on me. I got pregnant, gave birth, and now I’m in a size 5-6. I’m so happy I’m no longer in a size 0-1. You have no idea how happy I am over that. lol. A size 12/14 is not as big you’re making it out to be. If you’re wanting to be in a smaller size jeans, your best bet is to do crunches and jog, it’s the only way to slim down fast with a healthy diet. I’d love to see a pictures of how you look now, I know you’re lovely and it saddens me that women think size 0-1 is sexy. It’s not. I’ve been there and it was awful feeling. I personally think curves over a stick figure is gorgeous.

  11. Tori Says:
    June 20th, 2012 at 9:39 pm

    At the risk of sounding weird, your boobs:preggo belly ratio is seriously perfect. This picture is positively gorgeous!

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