Uncategorized

thank you so much for this site! i have been trying to find time to add my pics and and story for weeks!

i am mom of 2, a girl and boy. when i found out i was pregnant with my daughter i had just lost 25 pounds. i was worried about gaining all the weight back and of course i did plus another 25. at 29/30 i was put on bed rest and medication for preterm labor. my stretch marks didn’t show until i was about 35 weeks along. i was a little upset but i knew they coming and i was happy that she stuck in there long enough to give me them. i ended up being induced 10 days late :)

this is the day before i was induced with my daughter.

miss j was born by urgent c-section on 4/1/02. she was stuck and just too big to be born vaginally. i tried to breastfeed but it just didn’t happen. i was depressed because of the c and not being able to nurse. i told my husband that i didn’t want anymore kids because my body didn’t know what to do. i couldn’t birth or feed a child and i didn’t want to go through all the medication and bed rest i had to with the first.

when j turned a year i started thinking she needed a brother or sister. maybe the second time around would be different. i went off the pill 4 months later and got pregnant right away. i lost that baby a week after i got my positive. about 5 or 6 months after that i got pregnant again. i started spotting at 6 weeks and knew i was loosing the baby. the spotting stopped but 4 weeks later my daughter and i were in an accident. i went to see my ob and he did an ultrasound and there was a perfect little baby heartbeat and all. i was told to rest as much as possible and if there was any problems to call.

5 weeks after that at 15 weeks the contractions started. i had an ultrasound and the baby was fine. the contractions never stopped and i was eventually put on modified bed rest and medication again. i gained weight slow this time and ended up gaining 25 lbs.

miss j and i at 36-37 weeks

at 37 weeks i started having contractions and was told i was in early labor. my dr. was on vacation and i had a c-section scheduled for when she was back. the dr. on duty sent me home because i wasn’t dilating, i was at a 2. the next day i was still having contractions and went in. he agreed to do my c but he wanted me to wait until i was 38 weeks unless my water broke or i began progressing more. i went 4 days after that with contractions but no progress. the day i went in for my c they hooked me up and the nurse asked me how long i had been having contractions and i told her about a week. she checked me and i was still at a 2. i never progressed! i guess my body just doesn’t know how to have a baby.

the day i delivered my son i weighed 198.5 just like my daughter. i had a few new stretch marks on my thighs and by my belly button. i was much bigger with him then i was her.

the day i delivered m

breast feeding came natural this time around and he just weaned 2 months ago.

i lost all the weight i gained in 2 weeks. 22 months later my tummy is still squishy and soft. the extra skin is a little tighter but it’s still there. my tummy has housed and cared for 3 babies. 1 i never got a chance to hold but i still love that baby just as much as the other 2. my scars and stretch marks have faded but i look at them and i see gifts from my children.

now that i have written a book thank you again for this site! it’s awesome to read everyone story and see the pics here.

thanks!

stacey

I was 19 when I gave birth to my first son. I ate extremely healthy because of gestational diabetes. I went from 117 lbs. to 139 lbs. and 10 lbs. of that ended up being baby! I was shocked at how much pregnancy then labor & delivery changed my body. I bounced back pretty quickly considering I was still eating healthy and nursing. I had the dreaded jiggly belly pooch for a few months but I made it nearly back to my original weight when surprise, I became pregnant again when the first was only 8 mos. old. A year and a half later I welcomed boy #2. With my second pregnancy, I dealt with GD again but gained the most weight I’d ever been and it took quite a toll on my body as far as stretch marks on my boobs and inner thighs. It was much harder to lose the extra weight this time around. I wanted so badly to become pregnant again so I could blame the weight on pregnancy. I added to my little boy collection 4 years later in 2004 after an uneventful pregnancy (aside from GD) and easiest labor and delivery of the three.

I wanted to share my story because the media doesn’t show what real Mommy tummies look like post-baby. It reminds me daily what my body is NOT. I’m sharing with you, the public because no matter how much working out I do which is 3-5 times a week, my belly is forever marked and changed in shape. I want to see if my friends even recognize my pictures. I’m not the “waif” my friends used to call me. I am saying good-bye to that image and vowing to stop obsessing that what I am now will ever come close to matching that again because now I proudly wear the body, heart and soul of a mother. What is more beautiful than that?

Just days shy of giving birth to my first baby

32 wks. pregnant with third baby

38 wks. pregnant with third baby

Now, 3 boys later- 2 years since my last baby

Hi! I’d like to participate:

What a wonderful beautiful site…..

One of the things I would always tell people when they would ask me what it felt like to ‘be pregnant’ was how weird it was to be so used to looking a certain way for your whole life and then all of a sudden you start swelling and swelling and swelling …..

I’ve always been tall and skinny….and I didn’t want to sound vain when I would describe this weirdness to people but well… it did feel pretty weird to be walking around in a body that just didn’t feel like my body….then after a while you get to a point when you don’t remember what it was like to not be hugely pregnnat…to have to use a crow bar to get out of the car or a pulley system to hoik you out of the bed in the middle of the night to pee.

This is me about 5 months before I became pregnant

(that woman walking behind me as I wave my newly acquired US Citizenship Certificate is all “Skinny Bitch!”)

Me at about 23 weeks while home in Australia visiting my mum…

At this point my weight was still progressing pretty slowly and steadily, however while home I ate a salad Doner Kebab and Red Rooster Chips every other day for lunch…

At 31 weeks back in L.A…. still not looking too bad… could still button up my jeans… but lookin’ a little round of face… and OHMYGOD look at the bazoomba’s….

Hot, Fat, and Pissed Off…a this point I’m 38 weeks and hitting about 205lbs (my pre-pregnancy weight was usually around 135 and I’m 6ft tall).
These Target pants are the only thing that would fit me at this point… I blame my cravings for sour candy, tart flavoured drinks like limeade, Rice Krispies and Mac N Cheese

Looking like some scary Tranny She-Male… this is about 5 days before I gave birth…. look at how my feet are so swollen they’re like sausage’s stuffed into those flats. I totally realised how god-awful I looked and I was about to go out to meet my husbands co-workers….Ugh this picture is painful.

I don’t have any shot’s of me right after giving birth… but I kept a little muffin top for about 5 months… till I started working out at the YMCA in Hollywood… I never got stretch marks – don’t know if this is from all the Shea Butter/Cocoa Butter I lathered on or just random luck… but I have a bit of a sad face belly button now

Me at 8 months post-partum

(full disclosure: I’m totally sucking it in a bit in that last one…)

Every single pregnant woman and mother is a creature of miraculous beauty!

I’ve nursed both of my babies, and while I’ve always forced msyelf to nurse in public anyway (because, much like this site, I feel that the more it’s seen, the more it will be accepted), I have to admit I felt (and feel) somewhat uncomfortable about it. Funny thing is – it has NOTHING to do with showing my boobs. It’s all about the stomach! I know the goal is to be totally comfortable with our bodies, but I also realize that’s just not so easy for everyone; no matter how much this website has made a difference, we still have a long way to go in society and in our own minds. And that’s OK. Every little step, right?

My wonderful friend, Evie, has created a really awesome new product to help with moms who do feel uncomfortable nursing in public. They are really cute, and work really well – go check them out!

This is a comment about my experience. I’m not complaining, really, just adding to the range and variety that have already been posted to this site.

I’m 32, the mother of 2 kids, the youngest of which is 6. I was a stay-at-home mom until the youngest was 2, and I breastfed on demand until the baby decided to stop. I spent about 5 or 6 years in a row pregnant and/or breastfeeding. My experience wasn’t unusual, as far as I can tell – either unusually positive or negative. I had no real complications, no breast infections. I had practically no sex drive during this period. My first baby was demanding and exhausting. I wore loose shirts and no bra while I was nursing, because it was more convenient that way – nothing to fiddle with when the baby was hungry or fussy, and easy to nurse in public. So I put up with wet spots of my shirt, smelling vaguely sour during the infancy periods, when I leaked, and being somewhat frumpy. In the best of times, I didn’t care much about how I looked or dressed, I wore what fit and what was practical. Besides, with a baby in a sling or backpack, I knew I wasn’t the height of fashion anyway!

My breasts varied radically. Sometimes, they were full and engorged, very round and hard, and other times they were quite loose and floppy. It just depended on when I had last nursed, and how much. On average, they were size D during this time. Since weaning, I have worn a bra, and my breasts have gone back to their normal size C. When I’m standing upright, they are not that droopy – I think I have lost much of the extra skin from there. Maybe wearing a bra has helped in that regard.

Right around the time my youngest was losing interest in nursing, I was starting to want my old body back. My weight had settled around 20 pounds above what it had been before I got pregnant the first time, and I was starting to feel quite frumpy. But I didn’t really do much to lose weight until this year, when I got sick from food poisoning and lost 7 pounds without thinking about it! I have about 5 pounds to go to get back to my preferred weight, but I’m not trying very hard anymore because I’m pretty satisfied with how I look and feel. I’m just trying to eat reasonably well and get exercise.

I’m 5’2″, and weighed around 110 before I got pregnant. I weigh about 118 right now. I have a picture of myself at the end of my last pregnancy and it’s painful to look at. My baby was 10 lbs, and 21 inches long. I was huge. I had to move the driver’s seat backwards a notch in order to be able to fit behind the steering wheel, and then stretch to reach the pedals! I think mostly when I look at that picture I remember how uncomfortable it was those last few weeks, and I remember my labor (which was a difficult natural birth, but no stitches required – woo hoo!).

Well, here’s my pictures. The first two are of my belly, with me on my hands and knees. Something that surprised me about being a mother is how long it’s taken for the extra skin on my belly to go away. It has slowly gone away, and the stretch marks have faded a bit. But I think that I’m still carrying extra fat which is why I think I still need to lose another 5 lbs or so. When I eat, my belly is noticeably bigger, especially if I’ve eaten more than one large meal in a row. When I do Pilates, I can see my muscles, and I like the sensation that I’m getting stronger. I didn’t take a picture of my breasts, but in this position, they dangle somewhat loosely and I don’t like the way they look (but my husband likes it, so I guess I can’t complain).

The first picture I took with the camera near my chin. When I’m on my hands and knees, it’s what I see if I look along my torso. I feel really self-conscious about how my belly just dangles like that. The crease in the middle results from (I guess) connective tissue and my belly button attaching my skin to my insides.

The second picture is what I look like from the side. It really isn’t so bad. I don’t have to feel *that* self-conscious around my husband :)

The third picture is me clothed. In the last year or so, I’ve enjoyed dressing more nicely than I have before. Maybe it keeps me from feeling so old, I’m not sure.

I said before that I wanted my old body back. Well, I know I won’t ever really get it back. My hips are wider, but I guess that’s ok since curves are good, right? I think my thighs will always be thicker that I want, and I’m afraid I will always have this belly. I don’t mind the stretch marks at all, and I feel much more comfortable with my body knowing that it helped both my kids be healthy and strong. As I think about it now, I realize that I started the path to understanding and accepting my body way back when I learned how to do NFP (which has been a very effective birth control method for us). Natural childbirth helped a lot, too. It made me feel strong and capable, like I could trust myself. These days, when I say I want to lose weight, it’s not because I want to be thin, it’s mostly because I want to feel healthy and energetic again. It represents freedom and empowerment to me.

I am in the 32nd week of my 4th pregnancy, and I decided to do a self portrait project this time around. At 18 weeks I took a picture of myself with the self-timer function on my camera, in order to show my online friends how my belly looked. I realized that I had very few photographs of myself pregnant, and even fewer that I really liked. The picture I took of myself turned out so well and gave me such a boost of self esteem that I decided to document the entire pregnancy in this way. I have never felt really bad about my body during pregnancy, but I have never felt really great about it either. This time around, by photographing myself in creative and artistic ways, I have discovered a powerful peace and love for the shape my body is taking. I feel strong, sexy, and beautiful. It has affected how I feel when I am out in public as well as at home. I am much more comfortable letting my bare belly be seen by even my own husband and children, and even a little bit in public! I am proud of my growing belly and breasts, and I know I will be so thankful for the documentation of the changes my body is going through later on. I have decided to continue the series into the post-partum phase after seeing this site, which I don’t think would have occurred to me before.

I want to encourage women everywhere to photograph themselves during their pregnancies. I hear so many women say that they do not have pictures of their pregnant bodies! Not only will you be documenting a very important part of your baby’s life, but you will find that having pictures of yourself that you love will make you feel so much better about how you look right now. If you cannot do it on your own, please- find a friend who can help you. I am willing to offer any technical advice and encouragement, as well as help with retouching dark or off-colored pictures, in order to help mothers obtain photographs that make them feel good about themselves.

I should say that some of my photos have been altered using Photoshop image editing software. I have not changed anything about my skin or shape, but I have manipulated the images to make them look more artistic, etc. such as lightening them or softening backgrounds.

Thank you all for sharing your stories and pictures.

Hello,

Ever since I found this website, I’ve had mixed emotions. I was a mother, but only very briefly. I had an abortion when I was eight weeks along. I had the surgery a month ago. I thought I would be mentally prepared for what it would mean; I am still trying to find peace within myself.

At the time, I was very scared. The pregnancy was my first, and the father is someone I had only been seeing a few months and he would be leaving at the end of August to go back to school. I was afraid to tell him because we both had things going on in our lives; we are on the cusps of distinguishing our careers. I couldn’t fathom what changes it would’ve meant for the both of us. More over, I wasn’t sure of how he felt about me. My family has a lot of worries, and I didn’t want to add to them; I would’ve had to rely heavily on them if I had the baby. Basically, I felt really alone and decided that not having the baby would be the best thing for everyone…even when something within me told me otherwise. I just didn’t think I was strong enough to raise the child on my own.

After the surgery, I ended up telling the father anyway. He understood the situation I was in and he’s been very supportive. He told me he wouldn’t have let me go through with the surgery and that I should have told him. Nothing else would’ve mattered to him but me and the child. My family also told me they would’ve supported me no matter what, and they are sorry that I had to go through that. In hindsight, I should have listened to the voice within me. I have a hard time forgiving myself.

I look at this site and recall how my body changed so much in those eight weeks. I am really athletic, and I was amazed at how quickly I would fatigue at my daily activities before I found out I was pregnant. I’m also highly weight-conscious. I gained ten pounds in those eight weeks and I could not figure out where it came from. Coupled with the nausea and growth in the size of my breasts, I realized what was happening.

I remember thinking throughout the time I was pregnant and watching my body change that I didn’t want it to happen. My body was showing so much change in such a short time. I was scared. My body image was never a problem for me yet it was in a place that I felt was perfect for me before it changed during my pregnancy. Now that I’m not pregnant anymore, I’m depressed. I want to see my body morphing as the mothers’ bodies here did throughout their pregnancies.

I would’ve been 12 weeks along by now…I miss looking down at my torso and seeing that pudge below my navel where my baby was growing.

In the weeks following the surgery, I hated my body – not because of the way it looked but because it reminded me that I had been pregnant. It looked the same even though I was not. The surgery was painless, and I felt like such a hypocrite being on pain medication when nothing but my heart hurt. I wanted to be in more physical pain than I felt. My body has since returned to its pre-pregnancy state.

When I started reading the testimonies of mothers on this site, how their stretch marks and scars reflected the pride they felt for carrying their children, I realized why I felt so empty. I wasn’t proud of myself or what I did. The thoughts I had about my body changing during my pregnancy were superficial; I only felt that way because I decided not to have the baby, so seeing it change so quickly made me feel guilty for what I was about to do.

I read this site with admiration for the mothers who submit their stories and photos. I want them to know that I envy them. I envy their stretch marks, their post-partum bodies, their sacrifices of their old selves as they embraced their new roles as mothers. This site is powerful therapy for me even though it probably doesn’t sound like it. I have hope for myself, for my future pregnancies. I look forward to when I can post my own photos here.

Thank you for listening,
K

I have two beautiful babies ages 2 – 3 this october and 7 months. Both are girls. I got pregnant when i was 17 years old with my eldest, i was one month clean from sever drug abbuse that nearly claimed my life. I weigh a tiny 118 lbs, if that. I didn’t gain ANY weight with my eldest until my 8th month and maybe then gained 30 lbs. I had alot of stretch marks because no one ever told me that by itching them would cause stretch marks.

Well my delivery was wonderful, no pain drugs, no problems, no episiotomy. My husband was somewhat supportive. afterwards, I felt like I failed at breastfeeding because she wouldn’t latch on because my breasts were so engorged. I couldn’t pump because i refused to take pain medicine because of the drug fear, and so I felt like I failed her. I started eating more and more, and was very dissatisfied with my appearance. My once smooth flawless skin was over ruled by pimples and oil. My hair had grown so much became brittle at the ends, and felt fried. My husband constantly nagged me about my weight and made me feel really bad. i went from a very healthy eating habbit to polishing off ice cream at 230 am while bottle feeding. The picture below was taken 4 months before I got pregnant with my first.

And this one is a few months before I was due.

Anyways, I finally statred working when my daughter was 4 months old and it made me feel really good, I met some girls who had bounced way back into shape and were up on current beauty things, and we had lots of girl time, and i really felt back in the swing of things, toting baby JM on one hip and somewhat normal looking tummy, still weighed 20 lbs than i used to but i felt really good. Then about a year and some months later I found out while my husband and I just like 2 days had seperated, I was pregnant with our second. Afraid to tell him because we had moved somewhat to washington state, and i moved myself and JM back in with my parents in california, i was afraid he would have thought i cheated on him. which i clearly didn’t and if any doubt even occured i offered a paternity test. Anyways with my second, stella girl. It wasn’t right the first month, i had morning sickness my first pregnancy, but this felt beyond morning sickness, my parents left me to the house by myself while they went up to washington to visit my grandma, I would sleep for hours, I wouldn’t eat anything, I couldn’t drive, i became dizzy, disoriented, i don’t even remember taking proper care of my daughter because i felt too sick. I dropped alot of weight I weighed 140 when i found out i was pregnant with stella and then weighed at 124 only months later.

I finally went to a doctor, but they didn’t know what was going on, put me on iron and i still didn’t feel better. I began to get these attacks in my stomach, it felt like i was dying, felt like I was miscarrying at 6 months!!!! I went in for several tests and the doctors ‘guessed’ that it was gallbladder disease. which they treated with enormous supplies of vicodin and phenergan. I was high for the rest of my pregnancy because they said there wasn’t anything they could do about it, i stayed on a very strict eating diet and still had the attacks. my husband had no idea how to help me, and decided being an ass still was the best way to go about things. He continued to nag about what i did and how i complained about how i never felt good. I still wasn’t gaining any weight by 8 months and took me out of work and had me on bed rest. My work was threatening to fire me if i had went on bedrest, they threatened to find some way to fire me so i quit. the hospital that i had had my eldest in refused me, and told me if i went into labor i would have to drive a half hour out of town to deliver. I felt like the world was turning its back on me.

I struggled with the sickness, having to increase my vicodin because the normal dose wasn’t covering the pain, i began to have chest pains, i would faint, dizzyspells, tunnel vision. i was soon not allowed to drive not even down the street. I went into Labor at 10 am December 16th after my midwife stripped my membranes. I had good strong steady contractions until 5pm, when they completely stopped. i napped until 10 pm when they started to induce with pitocin, 3 bags later… still didn’t dialate to anything spectacular. at about 1230 i mentioned to the nurse that i was going to push because i felt it was time, at 8 1/2 centimeters she said i couldnt because i would rip my cervix.

gawd i didn’t give a damn.

Still no pain killers because back labor and contractions weren’t enough for me to ask for any, I pushed stellas head out without my doctor there. there was no waiting to push anymore, it hurt to much to not push.

My legs swelled up so bad and my arms swelled i felt really icky. my docotor was prepped a half hour before i pushed that i was planning on having her soon, and didn’t show up only in time to catch her when she came out.

Here is a picture when i was 7 months with stella.

Anyways they left the placenta in me for a half hour and then the nurse rudely informed me iwas not allowed to shower until stella was finished, eventhough i didn’t need help showeing. so i told her i was going to the bathroom she then threw a tempertantrum because i did and told me my husband couldn’t stay the night.

Stella was a healthy 7 lb 13 oz baby.

About one month after all my gallbladder symptoms seemed to disapear so I stayed to the strict diet, and breastfed wonderfully. I wasn’t making enough milk so i half breast fed half formula fed, but was clearly thrilled to breast feed at all!!!

late december morning I thought i was dying again. My husband suggest i take a vicodin because the symptoms were much different from the gallstones symptoms when i was pregnant. i did, the pain went away. I went and saw a doctor who wanted to order absurd tests on my butt saying its was all an anal problem… so i went to see another doctor and mentioned to him when i was pregnant they said i had gallstones..

went in for an ultrasound, was never called with the results. 4 weeks later i went in, asked them they scheduled an appointment for 2 weeks later, still having lots of attacks now, 2 3 times a day. i went in for a 5 minute conversation with the doctor who said no gallstones were found but reffered me to a surgeon anyways. i had to wait 3 weeks to see the surgeon. He said we were taking it out because it look contracted.

they scheduled surgery for one week later. apparently the gallbladder attack i had on easter never went away.

May 4 was the scheduled surgery, and i did it and i have never felt better. but all that pregnancy and then surgery has left my body warped, i dont even know where hips would start. i exercise most days and eat as healthy as i can afford, some days i still dont eat. But i cant seem to lose the weight. the swelling in my hand finally went away but now the swelling in my legs and ankles are just terrible.

here are pictures i took just now of how my body looks.

But after all that, i would do it again, to have my two beautiful little girls.

I am writing you actually feeling like I don?t even have the words to summarize the immensity of my respect and gratitude I have for you.

I had a serious eating disorder ? I am almost 5?10, I dropped to 105 lbs. I recovered (superficially) and have even gone on to counsel young girls about beauty and body weight issues. I have carried five babies ? two that lived. I have almost lost my life and my son?s life with his delivery. We made it, but my body is still my nemesis.

I would still say it is the most consuming issue in my life and has even almost undone my marriage.

Never in all my years of struggling have I felt underground thought patterns start unraveling like they have since I?ve started reading your site every day. I?ve actually been shocked at what a profound and almost instant change I?ve started to notice in how I?m thinking. I was reading a magazine this afternoon and saw that I was just thinking/seeing so differently. Even though these are concepts I have taught at a university level.

I am thankful to you beyond words. Your site is a beautiful inspiration/revelation.

Thank you once again for providing a safe place for us to share our feelings. Just because a woman does not lose the weight does not mean she is lazy or irresponsible. When I was expecting my first child, a friend told me, “When you become a mother, you give up part of yourself.” Mothers that I know will breastfeed on demand, hold their babies close in slings, hold little ones who are sick all night long so they may breathe better. They are so busy in the early days taking care of their babies that they often forget to eat until noon. So while they may not be able to work on their bodies immediately after giving birth, they have more important work: making bonds of trust that will last a lifetime.

My youngest is now 2.5. She was born with serious health problems and I felt I was running a marathon every day just to keep her alive and keep my older child nurtured and loved. The last thing I had on my mind was the shape of my body. My youngest will probably always have her health problems but now we now she will live and thrive and be okay. My out-of-shapeness represents her survival. I have just started to exercise last month and nurture myself. I have my entire life to nurture myself. I only have a few precious years to nurture my babies.

When you look at someones picture here, or a mother in pubic, you cannot assume that she is overweight and lazy. She is probably working harder than she ever has in her life. Her shape is not high on her priority list. So maybe it should not be high on yours to notice it, either.

These videos show what I have been doing the last five years: having and raising my children. I hope the world is a better place because of it, even if my body is not.

The Story of Abirami

Nitara’s Journey