When I was 14 I was raped by my father (who is now in jail for it) and life just seemed to have left me after that. One night I went for a walk to clear my head like almost every night and ran into someone who changed everything. I was only 15 when I got pregnant with my beautiful son. I was afraid but I trusted his father to be by my side. At about 8 months pregnant he had cheated on me which caused the relationship to end. With all the bad times I was facing I cried nearly every night. Every time I cried or just got mad at the world my son would kick and move around as if to let me know someone was there. Even though i got back with his father a couple months after he was born he left to another city so the past seven months i raised him myself. He will be back soon to help though!! I live with my mom on the agreement that I do chores and babysit when needed. Other then that I haven’t went out once on my own since his father moved.
My breasts are now completely covered in stretch marks and have headed south I’m afraid. (I also breastfed & still am!) They were once a very perky 34D. I also got stretch marks on my butt & thighs, but i didn’t get stretch marks on my stomach til the last few weeks. I think that when i decide I’m through with children and a bit older i’ll get a breast lift. I hate the fact I can’t wear the clothes I use to without embarrassment of the stretch marks or that I can’t go braless. I was thinking to maybe try to wear a bikini though after I find some more empowerment. Thankfully I have a high metabolism. 111 lbs prepregnancy, 143 near the end, & currently 103 at 5’3″. Also he was 8lbs & 3oz & I love him more then anything else.
GOODLUCK TO EVERYONE!!!
PP: 9 months
Number of Pregnancies: 1
2.) Day of Birth
3.) Tummy 9month pp
4.) another tummy
6.) inner thigh
7.) outer thigh
8.) After (9 month pp)
9.) the most precious gift in the world
As a young teen, just as my body – to my great excitement – was starting to change, I was gang raped. The excitement of becoming a woman was taken away from me and the relationship I had with my body turned from love to pure hatred. They say that the body is a temple and my temple had been invaded, scorned, hurt and permanently destroyed. I was never fat, but started perceiving my wide hips and full buttocks as being fat and I developed a serious complex. Not even in front of my husband did I feel comfortable and I was convinced that he secretly thought I was unattractive and even disgusting.
When I got pregnant, I started worrying about my weight gain and how my body would change. What if I couldn’t lose the excess weight after giving birth? What if I got stretch marks? What if my husband would never want to make love to me again? I did like my pregnant belly, though, and was able to see the beauty in it. It was the time after the delivery that I was worried about.
Then I gave birth to my beautiful baby boy. A few days later I stood in the shower and looked at my body in the mirror for the first time. My belly was still round as if I were four months pregnant and my whole body looked full and soft and feminine. “It’s beautiful”, I thought to my surprise. The femininity that I had previously regarded as unattractive and “fat” now looked pretty and inviting. For all these years I had disrespected my body, I had consciously hurt myself in order to punish it for having been raped, for simply having been there, for not having been able to escape. Now I was in awe: it had carried my son for nine months, had put up with the strain of being pregnant, it had miraculously given birth to a perfect baby and was now producing the nourishment to sustain him. But it wasn’t just due to the respect that I made peace with my body. I truly find it beautiful. And I finally love being a woman!