9 Months PP (Rochelle)

When I was 14 I was raped by my father (who is now in jail for it) and life just seemed to have left me after that. One night I went for a walk to clear my head like almost every night and ran into someone who changed everything. I was only 15 when I got pregnant with my beautiful son. I was afraid but I trusted his father to be by my side. At about 8 months pregnant he had cheated on me which caused the relationship to end. With all the bad times I was facing I cried nearly every night. Every time I cried or just got mad at the world my son would kick and move around as if to let me know someone was there. Even though i got back with his father a couple months after he was born he left to another city so the past seven months i raised him myself. He will be back soon to help though!! I live with my mom on the agreement that I do chores and babysit when needed. Other then that I haven’t went out once on my own since his father moved.
My breasts are now completely covered in stretch marks and have headed south I’m afraid. (I also breastfed & still am!) They were once a very perky 34D. I also got stretch marks on my butt & thighs, but i didn’t get stretch marks on my stomach til the last few weeks. I think that when i decide I’m through with children and a bit older i’ll get a breast lift. I hate the fact I can’t wear the clothes I use to without embarrassment of the stretch marks or that I can’t go braless. I was thinking to maybe try to wear a bikini though after I find some more empowerment. Thankfully I have a high metabolism. 111 lbs prepregnancy, 143 near the end, & currently 103 at 5’3″. Also he was 8lbs & 3oz & I love him more then anything else.

Age: 16
PP: 9 months
Number of Pregnancies: 1

1.) Before
2.) Day of Birth
3.) Tummy 9month pp
4.) another tummy
5.) boobs
6.) inner thigh
7.) outer thigh
8.) After (9 month pp)
9.) the most precious gift in the world

The aftermath of sexual violence + the beginning of healing (Anonymous)

As a young teen, just as my body – to my great excitement – was starting to change, I was gang raped. The excitement of becoming a woman was taken away from me and the relationship I had with my body turned from love to pure hatred. They say that the body is a temple and my temple had been invaded, scorned, hurt and permanently destroyed. I was never fat, but started perceiving my wide hips and full buttocks as being fat and I developed a serious complex. Not even in front of my husband did I feel comfortable and I was convinced that he secretly thought I was unattractive and even disgusting.

When I got pregnant, I started worrying about my weight gain and how my body would change. What if I couldn’t lose the excess weight after giving birth? What if I got stretch marks? What if my husband would never want to make love to me again? I did like my pregnant belly, though, and was able to see the beauty in it. It was the time after the delivery that I was worried about.

Then I gave birth to my beautiful baby boy. A few days later I stood in the shower and looked at my body in the mirror for the first time. My belly was still round as if I were four months pregnant and my whole body looked full and soft and feminine. “It’s beautiful”, I thought to my surprise. The femininity that I had previously regarded as unattractive and “fat” now looked pretty and inviting. For all these years I had disrespected my body, I had consciously hurt myself in order to punish it for having been raped, for simply having been there, for not having been able to escape. Now I was in awe: it had carried my son for nine months, had put up with the strain of being pregnant, it had miraculously given birth to a perfect baby and was now producing the nourishment to sustain him. But it wasn’t just due to the respect that I made peace with my body. I truly find it beautiful. And I finally love being a woman!

“Anonymous”, 29 years old

Updated here.