Happy New Year!
I am not usually the resolution type. This year I have chosen a word of the year to focus on (it’s “nourish” and you can read more about that here), and I’m also working on a daily moment to meditate on happiness (posting as zebrabelly on instagram under the tag #findinghappy2017 if you want to join in).
But this resolution here I think is reasonably easy to implement – it doesn’t require a daily or weekly commitment. You can do it as often as you think of it or as you need it.
When my daughter was little and just learning to talk, I made the decision to stop insulting myself in front of her. I didn’t want her to learn those habits. That small move made a huge difference in my self-esteem. So then I started complimenting myself where she could overhear me and it was good for both of us. Just a simple, “Wow, I love the way I look in these jeans!” or an “I’m having a great hair day today!” or even “red really looks good on me!” make a huge impact on you.
I have studied physiological psychology a little bit and the most fascinating and important thing I’ve learned is that our brains are kind of stupid. If they hear you say something, they believe you. If you speak ill of yourself, they start to think bad things about you. But if you say nice things about yourself, they start to believe that, too. You don’t even need to necessarily believe it at first – just hearing the words can be convincing to your brain. And the more you say it, they more they believe it.
So do it. Right now. Go say something nice about you to yourself. If your kids are around, make sure they overhear you. But if they are sleeping or elsewhere at this moment, let this compliment be practice. Because they deserve it and you deserve it.
Happy new year, you beautiful human, you.
I learned about positive self talk from a presentation by Laverne Cox when she spoke at a college I worked for. It honestly changed my life. I must admit, its a struggle to keep my self talk 100% positive. I am and always have been very hard on myself. But by being nice to myself more often, I do not allow people to affect me as much with their unkind words. Well, unkind words from others do not hurt as bad or for as long as before. I could dwell for days to years depending on my insecurity. So, i am happy you found positive self talk and I wish/hope that you keep at it as it doesnt become natural in our society but you are teaching your daughter natural positive self talk. :)