Today’s entry pulled from Instrgram.
Monifaith – every time I finish a #pregnancy, I have to work on my mind. Just because I’ve had four children doesn’t make me a bulletproof saint to all manners of mass-media messaging and imagery. When I take pics, it helps put things in perspective for me that have gotten pretty out of control in my brain. I’ve been resisting pressing impulsive thoughts to work out maniacally even though my pelvis is steal slowly healing just because I feel like my weight is getting out of control (insane I know, but brains are like that). I’m fighting impulsive negative thoughts regarding my eating (you’re not eating well enough, you’re gaining weight) and I’m fighting thoughts that having short hair make me look like a man and people will worry if I’m gay (really?!?!) and if I don’t keep my shape up I will have a tiny head and a massive body. What the heck? The point is, #bodyimage issues are real, and bc I KNOW myself I know when to hold off on things until I know I’m doing it with a healthy mindset. Until I know I’m not doing it to mimic the barrage of pics showing slim, lean, and nicely toned women I see all over, and until I know I won’t be causing further damage to my healing parts by causing them more stress while they’re under construction. I need to remember the basics…clean eats, stay active, stay calm. For those who have never suffered from body image or eating disorder issues, it can be easy to impress upon everyone else that getting into a more desirable “shape” by changing the configuration of your body is the ultimate guide to happiness, for some of us this is a coverup and egotistical cover for our suffering insecurities and esteem. Building yourself up physically when your mind is right and ready is much healthier than obsessing over your plate or your shape. Be healthy and be happy. Keep your mind focused and centered and discipline it as needed to make sure your body work is done from a good place, not as a cover-up. Also, please DO eat well, please DO be active…I’m not knocking the obvious and well-researched benefits to exercise and it is essential for longevity. But be in good overall health. This pic reminds me I’m doing ok. #bodylove