I had a diffcult pregnancy to begin with where I gained 45 lbs. The birth was worse. 23 hours in labor pushing for 32 minutes before they realized he was stuck. Tried to move him manually (oh by the way the epidural didnt take all the way) causing me to jump and slam my back off the deliever table resoluting in two large herniated disc that the doctors didnt dignoise till 6 months later. so needless to say i’m not able to work it off i’m not even able to lift my baby boy and it tears me up every single day sometimes three times a day!!!! i hate my body i hate myself!!!!
Right after I had my son I had to have surgery to remove the placenta. Then 3 days after that, with no bladder or bowel function I was diagnosed with Cauda Equina Syndrome rushed to another hospital for emergency surgery to remove a an “exploded” disk. I was told if I didn’t have that surgery “within 12 hrs” I wouldn’t walk again. I was in the hospital for a total of 3 wks after I had my son.
Then I was spent the next 8 months learning how to walk. It was a long and difficult recovery and I too was not able to carry my son, or even get myself up and down of the toilet!
Anyway, here it is 20 mths later and I’m doing great, as it my son, who I think received lots of extra love from me even though I couldn’t pick him up. He’s doing wonderfully too.
Hang in there!
ms. anonymous, you have a story that many women can relate to. your emotions and your hurt are real but i am concerned with the last part of your story where you said you hate your body and hate yourself. one thing is for certain, that no matter how bad we THINK things are, they could always be worse. you helped bring a beautiful new life into this world. that is truly a blessing in itself. we are always dished things that challenge us and challenge who we think that we are. the only thing we’re left with is hope and our attitude. hope, that it won’t always be as it is, and attitude, positive that you’re only going to go through what the Lord believes you can endure. what is impossible with men is always possible with HIM. if you allow me to, i would love to help you.
I am so sorry to hear this happened. What an awful experience. I am sorriest to hear you say you hate your body and yourself–you are not to blame IN ANY WAY, and thank heavens you survived. May you have good friends and a good physical therapist, and hope for much better in the future.
I ended up with pp depression and I felt like I hate myself too and was constantly obsessing over my body and how horrible I thought it looked. I did get over it because my husband made me feel amazingly beautiful and I get to see my amazingly beautiful daughter everyday (and the Zoloft…haha)…You know what? Really random, but you have good boobs. Hahah.
My daughter was stuck, too. My body jumped back when the suction released. It was really scary. I’m so sorry to hear that you still suffer from pain. That’s so sad. But praise God you have a healthy baby! What a blessing!
These are my pictures. I just want to say that I’m finally feeling better about my body. My tummy is slowly getting smaller. I’ve realized why my pant size is now a 14 it’s best of my big ole baby carrying hips. Turns out that most men think baby hips are sexy go figure. I really don’t hate myself I was just having a baby few days when I submitted those pictures. My bad days got to the point where I ended up in the mental hospital but I did make a new best friend that was going through the same thing same (SHOUT OUT TO MY TWIN JEN!!!!) The surgery went very well and I get around a lot don’t have much energy though but hey who does with a crawling baby boy.
oh by the way I also came with an amazing saying while I was in the nut house
“No Matter How Much My Body Changes As Long As I Have A Smile On My Face I’m Beautiful”
Hey Sweetie.
Glad you’re feeling better.
I just wanted to say that when I saw your pictures, my only thought was, “This is a beautiful, beautiful body.”
Stay well beautiful lady.
Sweet woman, bless you! You have been through a lot, God knows. You are a gorgeous lady and deserve Love.
I’m so glad that you posted these pictures. Your body looks almost exactly like mine!Except I have a lil bit of flab above my hips in addition to everything I can see in the pics.I have quite a few stretchmarks also. But we’re like the same size and our skin is hanging in the same places and all that. Once I get a digital camera again I will post pics of my body.But I wanted to thank you for posting yours. I was getting deppressed because all these gals are way skinneyer then me or their skin is tighter or whatever. But now I know that it’s ok. Because there’s someone who’s body is like mine also. I just try to avoid the mirrors when I’m naked lol. And if anyone sees me naked, well I’m comfortable with it. They know I have a kid, they know why my body is the way it is, and if they don’t like it then they don’t have to look at it. I’m 24 and have a 10month old.
I am very sorry to hear what happened to you. I cried when I read your post. During labor my epi did not work for me either, docs mistake. I horrible headaches after my son was born to the point where I couldn’t walk or stand a week after none the less spend anytime with my son. They finally decided caffine wasn’t working so they gave me a blood patch. That horrible suffering I had for a week left me Horrbily depressed. I hated myself, my life EVERYTHING!!! I did not have an actual bond with my son til he was about 3 months. My son is now 13 months and I love him more then anything in the WORLD! I still can not look at my body. I look like a completely different person. Im over weight and un happy. My back also hurts all the time (lowerback) im guessing where they did the blood patch. I think you have a beautiful body! Your breast are amazing!! I have ugly stretch marked saggy a’s. I just turned 26.
Thank god everyday for you child.
I’m 21 and have a 14 month old i don’t understand why I’m being so pressured into losing my pregnancy weight asap???????????I feel pressure from media and all the hype about celeb moms who lose 50 lbs in 4 weeks and my husband who thinks its a piece of cake he doesn’t understand the stress my body has gone through after giving birth and having 2 miscarriages shortly after. im starting to feel very depressed about trying every diet and not losing the weight but i still need to allow time for my body to heal and I have no idea what to do =(
You have had a tough time – your body is beautiful though, good breast shape and nice slim waist, but womanly curves. Your tummy will reover, as will the marks on your back. Be patient and seek the medical help you need. Good luck and send a picture in a year’s time of the recovered you!
My first reaction was NICE!
Your body is awesome, be proud. OBTW you have fantastic breasts.
you look fabulous! You remind me of me! I have stretch marks and Im not completely okay with it but at the same time When Im ready to lose my mind because my kid is going bonkers i have my body to look at and say she lived in this for nine months, this is what it took to get her her happy and healthy and then im so proud of my markings. Your arms are still nice and thin, your tummy has a “yup a baby was here, no it didnt destroy me” look. and your breasts, um they look wonderful! Seriously what a great looking rack!
Your have a great body… I don’t look half as good and I’m 2o weeks pregnant.. Ur are only about 20. To 30 lbs away from having a 100 percent perfect bod.. I hope I look half as good as you do and trust me I know a thing or two about bodies.. considering I won the Alberta body building provincials in 2007 and competed again after having my baby and gaining 100 lbs while prego.. So 30 lbs is absolutely nothing to worry about ..