I Made Them and They Made Me (Tanya Rose)

There was a time when I pranced around no bigger than a minute and cute as a button. Then at 15 years old, I became pregnant with my first son. I was 92 lbs. and throughout my pregnancy I was forced to gain weight by my Dr. because I was “underweight”. I did as I was instructed and gained 46 lbs. Little me delivered a 9lb.baby boy via c-section. I bounced back quickly and after 9 months, I was 93 lbs. and expecting baby boy number two. At 17, I vaginally delivered my 10 lb. baby boy.

After, the c-section and getting so big with my 10 lb. baby, my 17 year old body was shot. At 17, this is not the way your body was supposed to look. Although, I lost my weight, my body was stretched and saggy. Life went on, but I was always self conscious about my body image.

Years later, I was in a relationship with the man that I married. We were expecting an oopsie in January 2001. It took me having to bury my son at 17 weeks gestation and a late miscarriage one year later, for me to say to myself that these babies are too precious to worry about body image. I would give anything to just have a baby. I no longer cared what my body looked like or what aches and pains I would endure, I just wanted a baby. Three weeks after my D&C, I was expecting my 4th son. I had another miscarriage after him and then I was expecting my 5th son. After mine and my husbands divorce, we were expecting once again, another oopsie, number 6. Our after divorce relationship only lasted until my 6th son was 3 weeks old. Divorces are always for a reason.

Six boys later, eight pregnancies later, I was single and my body image was once again an issue. What man in his right man would want a woman with so much luggage and an after baby body like mine?
I found him when I wasn’t looking. He has five children himself. Even with his encouragement about the fact that my body was just fine. I still wanted to lose weight, I even bought myself a breast augmentation. I knew that the new and improved boobies would divert attention away from my mid-section.

Three and a half years later we are expecting a baby any time now. Someone on my pregnancy forum posted your site. It was the most wonderful thing I have seen. SOAM opened my eyes again and widely this time. A mother’s body is beautiful. It’s not airbrushed, it’s real. I realized that I am left with the marks that show I am blessed and that my body is able to do the most amazing thing in existence, Create life. I have a new found love for my body. I know there are many women who would sacrifice anything to have a family and it is just not possible for them. Therefore, I am grateful.

I am 30 yrs. old
This is my 9th pregnancy, 7th birth
The ages of my children are, 14, 12, deceased 8-10-00, 8,6, soon to be 4, and baby due 10.22.10

I can not wait to share postpartum pictures.

Thank you for everything, especially this site.