My Journey to Motherhood (Amelia’s Momma)

19
1 pregnancy 1 birth
4 1/2 months

Motherhood has changed me in so many ways, I start my journey as a young carefree 18 year old kid, and end as a mature young woman. I met my baby’s father when I was eighteen years old. I thought he was cute but of course love was the last thing on my mind I just wanted to have fun and the feeling was mutal with him. My life was perfect or so i thought I was working at the local grocery store had my own car, own apartment. But I was eighteen and ready to party, me and the father got along great every were we went, everybody talked about how great we were as a couple, how well we complimented each other. But we had a big addiction to partying and partying we did, and as we all know partying leads to trouble lots of trouble. There’s a darker side to partying the one nobody talks about, we were basically drinking every night and nibbling with perscription drugs and maryjuana. Now, we werent crackheads are anything like that but it could have lead to that. As a result my job sufferd and my school work, I started not showing up for work coming in late, being disrespectful to customers, ect. As you can geuss i was shortley fired and was not admitted to the nursing program. Two weeks later I found out I was pregnant, im not gonna lie to you the first thought thought that popped in to my head was “I can fix this” , I’ll just get an abortion. The father was admittedly against abortion and then reality struck i was pregnant this is a human being not just some kidney stone that can be removed. For the first week i just cried and cried i was in total shock and disbelif, how could this happen, i honestly thought I couldent get pregnant. I just thought other pregnant not me, boy was I wrong. Anyways my parents found out and they were shocked but very supportive which is a relief because I couldnt have done it without. I spent the majority of my pregnancy dreading the fact about how my life was over. I hated how big i was getting i cried my eyes out when I swall the dreaded stretch marks appear ALL over my body, i went from 136 pounds to a whooping 178 pounds. Looking back i should have spent my pregnancy being overjoyed at the miracle that was growing inside me but at the time i was not aware of how much love that miracle could bring. Little to say the pregnacy took a toll on our realtionship I was constantly crying and depressed i hated being pregnant I just kept telling myself once the baby gets here everything will get better. Despite the rough pregnancy me and the father fell in love and i can honstley say he is my soul mate and, there is no one else i would rather spend my life with. I started going into labor at 3 o’clock in the morining but I had no ideal what labor felt like. I remeber calling the nursing and telling her that i thought I had a UTI but the pain got worse about every ten minutes lol. Anyways, I called my mom and she was like I think your in labor hunny, So i called the baby’s father at work and told him he really didnt thinks I was in labor so he didnt bring the hospital bag. At 10:05 that night my angel was born, that was honesltly the happiest moment of my life. Me and the father had no ideal what we were getting ourselfs into, high on adrenaline, we naively instructed all the nurse’s to keep the baby in the room. As a result we got no sleep the whole time at the hospital. When I arrived home reality struck i was confused this thing i had carried around for nine monthes was a baby, and know so depended on me for everything. On top of all that I was trying to breastfreed long story short that only lasred about two weeks. The first month home was rough there was a lot off family conflict, and a lot of people trying to tell us what to do. Through it all we leaned on each other for support and stayed strong and we have a beautiful little girl to show for it. Today I am a much stronger person I lost all the wieght and pretty much look the same with a little bit of extra skin and stretch marks, but im okay with it because they represent my journey to womenhood. Without the stretch marks and extra skin i wouldent have been able to bring God’s most precious gift into this world. There is no greater gift then being a mother, and i would do it all a million times over, all the sleepless nights the wieght gain, depression, realtionship issues, stretch marks, to have my little girl. Sometimes i think women spend to much time looking at what they have lost and not what they have gained. Just think what if my body wasent able to bear a child, what if i never got the oppurtunity to meet my child, do you think you would be worried about the exess skin and stretch marks?. Just remeber that God has choosen you to be bleesed with the gift of motherhood.