Previous post here.
Children: 4-years-old & 1-year-old
I last posted here in August 2009. A lot has happened–that’s how it tends to go in life. I lost a lot of weight but the saggy/baggy tummy I had never went away no matter how more fit and thin I got. In the spring of 2010, I suffered a miscarriage. It was awful. For some reason, my sense of self–especially my body concept was really affected by that miscarriage. My husband and my relationship was not going well and I was so desperate for someone to tell me that I was beautiful that I got into some things I soon regretted. Thankfully, there is forgiveness and we’ve moved on from that time. But, it still was and is painful. I got pregnant again in the summer of 2010 and my daughter was born in the spring of 2011. It was a much easier pregnancy and birth with a lot less post-partum depression. But, here I am with the same darn saggy/baggy tummy. It doesn’t shatter my world as much as it once did but I really am seriously considering a tummy tuck and breast lift after I’m done breastfeeding my daughter. My husband really wants to have more children but I don’t want to wait to get my body back. So, I am not sure what’s going to happen with that. Lately, I’ve just been feeling so sad about the state of my belly. I’ve been in pilates 3 times a week for the past 6 months and have gotten a lot stronger and healthier but still my stomach shows no difference. Just makes me feel like crying. Sometimes I just feel really unlovely and unlovable. I’m only 29 but my body looks so terrible. I guess I’m just afraid to inherit my mother’s body. She always hated her saggy/baggy tummy–she had a lot more extra weight than I have, though. I don’t want to be old before my time and that’s exactly what my tummy looks like to me.