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The Shape of This Mother (DarkDaughta)

I fool not only others but myself too when I arrange my clothing in the most visually appealing manner possible. I fool not only others but myself when I only look at myself in certain poses, in certain kinds of light designed to offer the fat phobia oppressed one in me enough peace of mind to allow her to leave the house with her head held high.

I explained to my partner, Papi, that where my fat, proportions and dimensions are concerned I’m trying to not be body dysmorphic…

An uphill battle all the way…

Our society is seriously confused about what constitutes the body of a full grown woman. There’s a disconnect between what’s real, acceptable, biologically supportable, beautiful and what’s been forced on us.

This is even more so for wimmin who have been pregnant, who have watched as skin stretched taut over expanding gestating uterus, who have pushed knowing that nothing but a fatty skin sack would remain…for many…for most.

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16 comments… add one

  • Raine Friday, December 21, 2007, 10:20 am

    You. Are. LOVELY.

  • M Friday, December 21, 2007, 11:39 am

    Amazing words and pictures. Even more amazing, the word ‘oppressed’, because that’s exactly what it is, all of the media bombarding our hearts and minds, even eyes, with what is supposed to be a woman. Bony, skinny, tiny, starving women who are in some odd race to see who can turn back time and morph into what their bodies were pre-pregnancy. What is wrong with women today? What is so wrong with being what you ARE, what your BABIES made you to be? Sometimes I think it’s the lack of stronger men who have the ability to love, accept and even crave being with a true flawed mother. But it is not all their fault. We as mothers need to realize that every second glance we take in the mirror, every look of disgust we give our bodies, every ill word spoken against our curves and lines, they are each passed on to the babies that gave us these blessings, and they multiply through the generations. It is a chain reaction of disasterous proportions, and we are left as just a few scattered mothers fighting our way to be accepted for exactly what we are — mothers.

  • Kris Friday, December 21, 2007, 1:03 pm

    “Our society is seriously confused about what constitutes the body of a full grown woman.”…an amazing and insightful quote, and you are absolutely 110% right in that assertion. I sure do appreciate you sharing…I look exactly like you post baby, exactly. I was beginning to think there were no mothers out there like me. Most of what I see on here are beautiful mommies that have in some way managed to “bounce back” easily. It was not my experience and I wish more of US would post here…I suppose we don’t for the exact reason you wrote. You have inspired me! THANKS!!!

  • Kate Friday, December 21, 2007, 1:21 pm

    Is that a belly cast? Its incredible!!! You are beautiful inside and out.

  • Brendy Vaughn Friday, December 21, 2007, 5:22 pm

    You look so interesting, exotic and artistic. I love your photos.

  • i-dra Friday, December 21, 2007, 11:35 pm

    kindred spirit, your undies say it right: “perfect”. you’re beautiful & kind. i love that painting behind you… “open”.

  • Sarah Friday, December 21, 2007, 11:48 pm

    You have an exotic look (like Brendy said) very beautiful! Did you really stand outside naked? You’re a brave one! I love the body casting photo and the naked outside pic, too. All moms should be as brave and proud as you are!

  • jenn Saturday, December 22, 2007, 7:27 am

    well well , nice , thats cool

  • Sandi Saturday, December 22, 2007, 7:59 am

    What an inspiring post! I’m new to the Waldorf-Inspired HS’ers ring and just cruising through all the blogs. But I had to STOP when I read your inspiring words and saw your beautiful pics! Your post reminded me of the strength and beauty of women; and re-affirmed my body image in a positive manner. Thank you and God bless you.

  • Helen Saturday, December 22, 2007, 6:52 pm

    The second picture from the bottom, where I imagine you see fat, and where I would also if it was a picture of myself, is so strikingly lovely. You’re beautiful. Your curves just knock me out! :)

  • Beth Sunday, December 23, 2007, 3:04 am

    I love the second picture. You look like a goddess.

  • Heather Wednesday, December 26, 2007, 10:15 am

    You are beautiful, and your panties said it all – PERFECT….we should all view our life-giving bodies as such!

  • Sandy Sunday, January 6, 2008, 9:06 am

    You are so cool and spirited. I couldn’t agree more with everything you said.

  • Tillie Monday, January 14, 2008, 7:22 pm

    You are built with the divinity of ages, a veritable goddess from a time I only remember in my bones. “Beauty” has fallen so far from it’s original shapely loveliness that if it weren’t for women like us, Rubens would be rolling over in his grave!

  • Rachel Tuesday, January 29, 2008, 10:52 am

    I can look at you and think your body is beautiful, but I just have a hard time doing it myself. Thank you – I’m sure it is helping me get there.

  • G. Friday, April 4, 2008, 7:46 am

    You are really beautiful. Your body looks a lot like mine these days. I think a lot of us do have fat phobia. I commend you for your great thoughts and posting your gorgeous pictures.

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