Well I dont know what to say, I think you should as do you deep down inside. Iam almost 30 and if I was 20 again I would be back in school though I m going back at 30, but whatever. Go back to school, ge govt funding, find something you would like to do, nursing, child care, social worker…something. At 20 you have a long way to go, you dont want to be saying the smae things at 40! The guy you with is a jerk and a shit head, you can do better, so what if you dont have a great body (your words) who cares, not all guys have great bodies either. But you need to be with someone who will bring you up not down, so they can control you mentally and think you will never do better so you are stuck with them and they know it. Its mind control and you need to leave that jerk, if you do, pretent he is dead, dont answer his calls, emails, text nothing. He doesnt deserve you esp after your body gave him kids, he doesnt appreciate you, BUT someone somewhere WILL…trust me. Heisnt the only guy in the world, but thats exactly what he wants you to think so you never leave him. He doesnt love you if he is calling you names like that either. I would leave him, start fresh this summer, apply for schooling in septemeber, hell I would even go on welfare for the time being just to get away from someone like him, men like that need to grow up and the odds of them doing that are slim. I hope you find the strength to leave him and get your REAL confidence back.