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Scared to Look Down (Ana)

April 19, 2012

age: 24
1 pregnancy
mother of 4 yr old princess
natural birth

you would think that 4 yrs would make it easier to accept the changes in your body.. but its definitely not, for me atleast. i was never the “skinny” girl, and that always bothered me.. and after giving birth the list got longer. i, like many other moms on this site, have the saggy belly problem.. or “the baby butt” like i refer to IT lol.. i love my daughter with all that i have, but it doesnt take away the fact that i am now 24 and i have a huge fear of wearing a bikini or two piece bathing suit to the beach. so many things i cant wear anymore (cropped shirts are tooo cute).. and its def something thats always in the back of my head. i too have spent hrs and hrs on google looking at how amazing these celeb moms look after 1 week of giving birth. its not fair. and it doesnt end with celeb moms.. alot of my friends and friends of friends who also have kids, got back their bodies intact. no stretch marks no sag. why? i know we must learn to accept and wear our tiger stripes proudly but its so hard… maybe im just pessimist and need to look at the glass half full instead of empty.. this site has def pushed me in the right direction.. ive read entrys where i could hold back the tears…I can so relate to it all.. thank you ladies for showing me who i WANT to be.. that fearless mom who can teach her daughter that we are beautiful! God bless :)

ps. i am a huge fan of urban outfitters and american apparel and i am so happy high waisted bathing suits are back. as well as high waisted jeans and slacks. makes it a bit easier :)

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23 Responses to “Scared to Look Down (Ana)”

  1. Stacy Says:
    April 19th, 2012 at 11:24 am

    You, and your beautiful belly, are Gorgeous!

  2. Sarah P. Says:
    April 19th, 2012 at 8:28 pm

    Well, I think cropped shirts look trashy, so you’re not missing out! You’re so cute! Rock that swim suit! I’d trade your tummy (mine isn’t much better after a nearly 10 lb baby) for my cottage cheese butt any day! I’d feel way more confident! I’d at least wear a swim suit PERIOD. Rock that suit for womankind!

  3. Melissa Says:
    April 20th, 2012 at 8:53 am

    Oh sweetie! Im 25 and have a similar tummy since I was 18 and it sucks but for me I look at the positive side my kids are here on this earth with me I get to see them every day and their kisses and hugs mean more to me than what my stomach looks like! I can’t wear tight shirts or a two piece regaurdless of my tummy I have a milloin stretch marks lol, but I look good in jeans & a t-shirt so I’ll take it!! I think you look beautiful just the way you are don’t be so hard on yourself! Even the skinniest of my friends still have a tiny mommy apron!!

  4. Jennifer Says:
    April 20th, 2012 at 1:37 pm

    OMG YOU have my tummy..i’m 29 with four kids…and i still cant accept my tummy..but it has gone done in 5 years and i work out but irregular. BUT my husband loves the butt tummy..he grabs it, kisses it, wraps himself around it becuase it reminds him i carryd his daughters in there and calls it a blessing. ( i’m like crazy) but he loves seeing me in a bikini and i of course hate it but he incourages it soo much! best of luck..beauty is on the inside to, noboday is perfect, there are worst bodies in bathing suit..before anything WEAR CONFIDENCE AND EVERYTHING ELSE WILL LOOK GREAT!

  5. Mary J. Says:
    April 20th, 2012 at 6:10 pm

    When I read your story it brought tears to my eyes for I too have felt the same way and I understand your pain. It is not easy to look at our body changes after pregnancy especially nowadays when all you see is celebrities rocking their post-pregnancy bodies left and right looking like they never had a baby to begin with. Not to mention all the photoshop applied today to, I dare say, every single picture out there making one feel as if we the “regular” women are the exception rather than the rule. I want you to know I also have been sporting a saggy belly after 2 natural births just like yours for almost 9 years, if I would show you a picture it would look just like the one you posted of yourself. However, after much shame and low-self esteem because of my belly look, I have learned to accept my body and all its changes and for two years in a row I have allowed myself to proudly wear and display my saggy belly with all its stretch marks in a two piece bikini. I encourage you to do the same and free yourself. Believe me it will empower you!!! =)

  6. victoria Says:
    April 21st, 2012 at 1:55 am

    i wish i had your stomach i would be so happy, my stomach is huge after 5 yrs of giving birth by c section, not sure what they did but i have no stomach muscles a huge overhang and a massive stomach which is all bumpy, be happy with your stomach

  7. Lilian Says:
    April 21st, 2012 at 4:21 am

    Lovely pic ! Nothing wrong with that at all. No woman who has a baby is ever the same again physically or emotionally and whatever celebs say about why they have such smooth skin or flat stomachs I do not believe it. No amount of exercise or oils or massage can put the elastication back into stretched skin – they went under the knife – end of story. We all know the rare woman who gets no stretch marks and that is just the genetic lottery but for ALL these celebs to fall into that rare category is just asking us to believe the unbelievable. A rounded tummy area is part of the female shape even before pregnancy- take a look at any little girl or teen for proof of that we are not supposed to look like men around our abdomens . For years women were made to feel bad if they were built like an ironing board ( flat stomachs, no breasts to speak of, angular hips) now the pendulum has just swung the other way but it’s all superficial. I am so glad this site exists now and hope more and more women will look at it . I am nearly 60 had 5 children and have an aged version of your tummy and even my stretchmarks have stretch marks ! My kids loved playing with my jelly belly when they were tiny and when I look at my belly and boobs in the mirror ( and there is not much space between the two now) all I see are the faces of my wonderful kids who have brought so much love and laughter into my life . My belly is my keepsake from my babies .

  8. amber H Says:
    April 21st, 2012 at 7:02 am

    tummy twins! search me blessed and tortured.

    Exericse and healthy eating will improve yout tummy.. but be PROUD that you have performed a miracl, the miracle of birth! you are gorgeous

  9. Nicky Says:
    April 21st, 2012 at 11:21 am

    This is EXACTLY what my tummy looks like, nearly five years after my son’s birth.
    I love him with my whole being, and I’ve accepted that this tummy is a small price to pay for the huge blessing he is.
    I still have issues about it though, and I do miss my bikini’s…maybe someday I’ll be able to wear them again.

  10. bebe Says:
    April 21st, 2012 at 12:00 pm

    Finally! Being new to this site and the first several posts all showed girls who have the bodies of models or teenagers…so refreshing to see a REAL body on here. Sad that a site that is supposed to celebrate us all is even littered with skinny girls whining about how “awful” their bodies are. You are REAL and BEAUTIFUL! Thanks for sharing and inspiring

  11. lauren Says:
    April 21st, 2012 at 2:04 pm

    cant believe this is my stomach. i am so encouraged that there are other women that have this stomach. the media lies. lets try and be happy with what we have. easier said than done, i know.

  12. Ann H Says:
    April 21st, 2012 at 8:23 pm

    I to have the exact same tummy as the pic & as you all described!
    I have had to perfect pregnancies & births which have resulted into perfectly healthy, intelligant & happy daughters who are now 5 & 4.
    I to have hated my ‘mummy tummy’ & those ‘baby love marks’ as I effectionally call them.
    I have most recently experiancing some depression with my weight & my ‘mummy tummy’ & have found loosing the punds is now no easy feat.
    When I was younger the weight wold slide off now I work my butt off, quite liturally & fail to see any changes for weeks.
    I eat resonably healthy, work 40 hours a week so time to work out is zero but I do like to take my girls for a brisk walk on the weekends & have started making it to a simple gym with my cousin for an hour a week & still no change to the ‘mummy tummy’.
    I am only 28 & have no body confidence so it’s kept well hidden under baggy unflattering clothes.
    How do us real women get to have our way & wear what ever we feel comfortable in?
    Bring on the two piece swimsuite that I have not worn in over 6 years, as long as it’s high waisted for the ‘mummy tummy’ to be tucked in why not?
    Clothes shop don’t make it any easier for us ‘real’ women either. Only the other day I was trying on my jeans size 12 (au) from last winter & they are still that little to snug so thought I’d go get myself some new pants. First shop size 14 (au), next shop size 16 (au) then the last shop gave the boost of the year!! The sales assistant – who was wonderful though slim & fit but very encouraging – handed me a size ‘small’ which is a size 12-14 (au) I laughed but she insisted I try them on. I did so & was blown away by the fact here I was standing in pants a size ‘small’. I can not remember the last time I wore a size ‘small’. Not only did I buy two pairs of the pants but I skipped out of there with my head held high & felt ready for anything. I just wish all stores could take into a count that size, the number really doesn’t matter.
    Power to all of us ‘real’ women, to us mums that yes we have lumps, bumps & stretch marks alike, we are who we are because of them & really would we change it?
    Our kids are healthy & happy what more can we ask for? :)

  13. Lama Says:
    April 21st, 2012 at 11:06 pm

    There is something in your stomach that makes it look beautiful to me. It’s gentle and fragile – feminine, that is. I think a woman’s stomach should be soft. Too flat and muscled stomachs, with protruding bones, look masculine to me.:) Modern society has wrong standards of beauty – I really think that antique ideals of female beauty were more appropriate. Women depicted in Ancient Greece statures all have soft and round stomachs, and these are women who did not even give birth! The ancients cherished the natural body, not the one artificially shaped by corsets and later, excessive fitness an plastic surgeries. We should stick to the ideals of ancients! :) :)

  14. Justine Says:
    April 22nd, 2012 at 8:21 am

    Just wanted to shout “OMG You have my tummy” but Jennifer and Melissa were faster….
    Have 2 boys 9 & 11 years old,growing fast,really proud of them….
    My tummy???Steady “growth” and not something I will apy with piblic affection….
    Lots of hugs

  15. Tonya Says:
    April 23rd, 2012 at 11:37 am

    Seriously, it’s like I’m looking in the mirror….

  16. Cindy Says:
    April 23rd, 2012 at 6:53 pm

    That’s how my stomach look too…

  17. Kelly Says:
    April 23rd, 2012 at 7:19 pm

    Twins! I have the same belly. Two boys 3, and 9, but the first one gave me the belly and stretch marks. I got even more with the second (is it possible to get stretchmarks on my stretchmarks- answer is yes…)Oh how misery loves company. No bikinis over here either sister!

  18. marnie Says:
    April 24th, 2012 at 4:11 am

    girl your tummy is not that bad!!!you can def get that tighten up from working out, if you want to!!! mine was exactly like that…in fact im gonna put up pics of my journey…CHECK OUT BODYROCK.TV…they have 12 min workouts!!! they have modified versions so if u don’t have to start hardcore like they do, but it’s totally free!!! u can do it from home!!! it takes time but hey it works!

  19. Maria Says:
    April 24th, 2012 at 8:14 am

    We are belly Twins!!! Mine Looks JUST like yours! I am 27 and have 1 child 3 1/2 yrs. Some days i am like screw it i dosen’t bother me, and other days (usually pms’ing) I tend to get a little emotional about it!I still wont wear a 2 piece, but i found a awesome tankini on Athleta that i rock. They are great b/c they come in long and cup sizes (even DD!!)Well hopefully you find a little peace with it some day belly twin! Your not the only one!

  20. Lily Says:
    April 24th, 2012 at 10:23 am

    Darling i got the same belly!!! :D I’m 29 with a 3.5-yr-old boy. I was always the skinny one with a flat tummy I was oh-so-proud of before pregnancy. I was convinced I’d bounce right back like most of my friends did and i should have good genes. But not so much. My belly to me still looks like when I was 5 months prego. I have and am still struggling to accept my new body but I did put on a bikini when my boy was 14 months and rocked it ever since. Yea, maybe i don’t have the flat belly like i used to and i have good sized love handles, but i don’t care. My girlfriends (not moms) at the time were all urging me to stick to go to the gym cuz’ they saw i was depressed about my body, but now that some have become moms themselves we’re all in the same boat, and compare battle scars, and now they understand me when I tell them that after chasing after my boy i have no time or energy to hit the gym.
    I’ve just started getting ready for the summer (again) with 20 mins on a bike and some sit-ups, we’ll see if anything changes, but even if it doesn’t I’m still getting into my bikini!!!!!
    All the best!!!!! Get ur bikini and enjoy the fun in the sun!

  21. Donna Says:
    April 24th, 2012 at 10:28 am

    I have always been self conscious of my body, I guess that stemmed from being the “chunky” girl in the family, then I got into my late teens and early 20′s and felt good about my self, then I had babies, I was so distraught, stretch marks, pooch, I’m glad I was never big busted cuz you can’t miss what you never had…LOL (yes, I breast fed).

    My then husband never said much, he always thought I was beautiful, but one day when I was feeling really in the dumps about my looks and looking at my stretch marks and in tears, I will never forget the words he said to me…”Why do you cry? Do you not know that you should think of those marks as your badges of honor, because you have given birth to the most beautiful children…MINE and YOURS”

    The stretch marks still bother me, but I will never forget those words when I’m feeling vain and silly, as times goes by the stretch marks fade, but your children are still there!

  22. Mia Says:
    April 24th, 2012 at 4:04 pm

    This could be a picture of me… I have exactly the same belly (except it’s more brown because I’m not caucasian :-) I’m trying to be ok with it (and with the decrease in the bust area) and it’s difficult but I agree with you (and your hubby), these marks are our badges of honour. And we still enjoy the benefits of the fight and we will for years to come. Theyr presence is so fulfilling and trenscending it’s more than worth it!

  23. Ana Says:
    April 30th, 2012 at 1:22 am

    I may not know you ladies personally but I feel such a strong connection with each and every one you beautiful ladies. Thanks for your comments!!!! Every time I read “tummy twins” I high-fived the air lol to be honest posting that pic was soooo liberating. Finally someone other than myself and a few others (2ppl) have seen my belly. I will def try working out and try to post some results. God bless you all beautiful mommies :D

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