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Scared to Gain Weight (Anonymous)

May 4, 2012

I’m 21 years old and I’ve struggled with both anorexia and bulimia since I was 17 years old. I was about 120 when I got pregnant with my first pregnancy I gained about 45 pounds throughout the nine months, and I hated being so big, but since I never ate before my body held on to everything I ate. so towards the end of my pregnancy my daughter remained in my ribs so underneath the bottom part of my stomach was the extra flabby skin, which made me so self conscious, as well as the horrible stretch marks I had. I had my daughter, and tried to lose the weight the healthy way, and that lasted for about a month, I lost all that baby weight and more so quick everyone around me was worried, I ended up weighing 100lb. ad soon after my daughters second birthday I was slowly gaining weight again, then lost it again. well I found out I was pregnant with my second baby a few weeks ago, I’m currently 11 weeks and I have put on about 15lbs since I’ve found out I was pregnant. the thing is I don’t wanna gain a huge amount of weight with this baby and I wanna be healthy throughout this pregnancy, but I constantly feel like I’m going to pass out if I’m not eating. I don’t know what to do. does anyone have any advise they would like to give me. thank you in advance.

2 pregnancies; 1 delivery
2year old little girl
I currently have no pictures to send in.

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11 Responses to “Scared to Gain Weight (Anonymous)”

  1. Nicole Says:
    May 4th, 2012 at 11:56 am

    I would just eat healthy and excersize at a healthy rate. Just make sure you’re eating enough for the baby and not exercising too much for the baby. Good luck!

  2. Jamie Says:
    May 4th, 2012 at 4:43 pm

    I can imagine how hard the struggle with your body must be, and I don’t have much advise to give you other than maybe you need some help to find that happiness. Seeing someone professionally may help you.
    You need to keep reminding yourself that if you don’t eat well for that baby, you give that innocent child a lot of risk. I know everything is easier said than done, but I know you can do it! Keep healthy for that babe depending on you :)

    I wish I could help more with your weight struggle, I know what it’s like to be too hard on yourself about your appearance and weight.

  3. Stacia Says:
    May 4th, 2012 at 7:34 pm

    Trying seeing a nutritionist. They will help you make a meal plan of healthy foods you can eat to prevent severe weight gain. But starving yourself is hurtful to the baby. It needs your nutrients to grow properly and be healthy. Have you seen a therapist about your condition? Not treating your eating disorders can be detrimental to the health of you and your baby. The weight you are gaining is beautiful because you are creating life. 45 lbs may seem like a lot to you because of what you are dealing with but its not much compared to the 60+ I gained and I have only lost 20 of it and I am 10 months pp. chin up sweetheart you are beautiful at any weight.

  4. Sunshine Says:
    May 4th, 2012 at 8:45 pm

    First off congrats! Second, you’re so young. I totally know how you feel as I had a few of the same issues in HS, but not when I had my first at 20. I didn’t gain as much as I should have but it wasn’t because of my body image so much, I was working a lot of double shifts… and she was pretty small 6.4 I think but that was like 16 years ago lol. That sounds like you are on the right track as far as already gaining weight and 100lbs to begin with is pretty petite. I would not worry quite so much with the numbers, actually I wouldn’t even have a scale that may help. Just eat when you are hungry so you aren’t at that passing out stage and try several snacks throughout the day…saltines and peanut butter have been a lifesaver for me, not throwing up and some extra protein. So relax and try and carry some healthy snacks with you. For me it is easy to be so busy to not be eating “meals” and it has worked thus far for me being on my 5th pregnancy with gaining around 35 maybe and 5 weeks to go…but like I said I dont really keep much track of numbers. Best of luck!!!

  5. Andi Says:
    May 4th, 2012 at 9:50 pm

    When I had my first daughter I was 22 and terrified to gain weight…now she is 6 and 1/2 and I can tell you with 100% certainty that when your little girl looks to you for confidence and self love, you need to be able to teach her. All of the messages of self hate and a mythical “perfect” beauty are just garbage and the sooner you realize that, the better off you and your precious little girl will be. You ARE beautiful just as you are…and so is your baby. Hang in there, and just take it one day at a time. You are stronger than you realize.

  6. Jessica Says:
    May 5th, 2012 at 6:14 pm

    Congratulations on your pregnancy – but I’m so sorry that you’re struggling right now. We can be supportive of you here, but we’re just readers on the internet – if you’re willing to receive help, please do seek professional help from someone who can actually meet with you and help you through this.

    Having struggled with an eating disorder myself, I know where you’re coming from – it’s no joke. Here’s just one obvious place to start, if you’re up for it: http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/.

    ((Hugs))

  7. Sarah P. Says:
    May 5th, 2012 at 10:22 pm

    I know where you’re coming from. I was there once, too. In high school, I struggled with restricting my diet, and anxiety over my weight since high school. These feelings of anxiety have lessened actually since becoming a mother. :) They’re still there, though. Most days I don’t even think about it.

    With each pregnancy, I’m afraid to gain “too much weight”. But what is too much weight? Our bodies know how much to gain and they gain exactly what you need! It’s amazing. Anyway, with both pregnancies, I exercised and ate right. With my daughter, I ate NOTHING with processed sugars and NOTHING fried (mainly french fries, which I love). I’m usually at around 118 pounds not pregnant. I gained 40 pounds with her and struggled with high blood pressure toward the end. With my son, I exercised daily, walking more than a mile every day. I was much more laid back about my eating habits, but I didn’t eat more than I usually eat when not pregnant. I gained 38 pounds and went 2 weeks later than I did with my daughter. I had no problems with blood pressure. My point is, despite having very different pregnancies, I gained just about the same amount both times. 40 might be considered on the high end to some healthcare providers or websites, but it is exactly what my body needs to nourish my babies. I am 6 months postpartum now and below my prepregnancy weight and even further below my first prepregnancy weight. I don’t do anything special. I don’t diet or work out too hard. I breastfeed and I think that makes the biggest difference in weight loss. Also, I didn’t gain extra weight. I gained what my body needed to gain. My point here is that if you relax, exercise lightly each day and watch what you eat while getting the extra 300 or so calories each day that you need to nourish the little one inside of you, you won’t gain “too much weight”. You’ll gain just enough! :) Hugs to you!!!

  8. carobeth Says:
    May 7th, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    thank you all ladies, your. words are very encouraging. once before I got counseling. but that didn’t help to much. I am still eating both healthy and not so healthy foods. but I’m syattin to go walking every day so I can be a little bit more healthy for the baby. and my grandparents have a pool do I’ll be able to do laps and exercise a lot in the pool. a friend of mine told me this past weekend that she is afraid in just going to let myself go and she’s afraid bc she knows what it’ll be like after the baby’s born. so it’s very stressful. I have spoken with my doctor about it as he said walking is the best, and that my stomach won’t really be hard hard until like 8 months because the skin is so lose. and that’s hard for me, I wasn’t to be acute pregnant person with a cute belly and right now all I look like is that I’ve put on some weight.

  9. Mary V Says:
    May 8th, 2012 at 5:07 am

    Congratulations on your babies! Weight gain during pregnancy is sometimes effected by what what eat and do but as many of the women who have posted have explained, sometimes your body just does what it needs. I feel for you, but if you are pregnant you really have to think about your growing baby, not eating will lead to high blood pressure from your body trying to compensate and that will not be good for either of you. Also, poor nutrition can lead to developmental defects in your baby. I know you want to feel sexy and “normal” after pregnancy, but at what cost? Just eat healthy food often, a way to ease cravings during pregnancy is to eat protein every 2-3 hours. Stay well, your body knows what to do!

  10. lyshia Says:
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:21 pm

    Oh my goodness I can relate! My girl is 14 months old and I’m almost 15 weeks with baby #2. If you would like to add me on facebook, we can talk :) I have struggled with anorexia and bulimia since age 11 and I’m now almost 18. I’m 113 lb at the moment. My lowest since pre pregnancy with my little one. I was 87 lbs at 4 weeks pregnant with her. I was 118 at 4 weeks with this one. I have lost 4 lbs (up and down) with this bub. It is scary.

    My link is http://www.facebook.com/avah.love :)

    just send me a message letting me know you’re from the “scared to gain weight” post. that goes for anyone else on here too!

  11. Chelsea Says:
    June 27th, 2012 at 12:40 am

    While I’m glad that others are reaching out to you, Anonymous, I am also horrified to read some of these stories.

    As a long time eating disorder sufferer and survivor and first time aunt, I would like to chime in.

    First of all – to those women that have posted your weight…how is this helping this woman? If you were truly seeking help for your problems (I’ll get to that in a minute), you would know that your weight is YOUR business, and that anorexics are competitive. For most people with eating disorders, seeing another person’s weight becomes a trigger. Why…just WHY would you carelessly throw around numbers when trying to “help” someone who is absolutely terrified of weight gain? It’s absolutely and totally unnecessary.

    Second – if you are struggling with anorexia so terribly, WHY do you continue to have children? Do you realize what harm you are causing your children? And I’m not just talking about the children who are still trying to grow inside of you. I’m talking 12 years down the line. I grew up with a mother with eating issues. And while I can’t blame her for my anorexia, I do think that her issues, weighing herself, self-hate talk…all of these things contributed to my illness. While I’m not trying to pass judgement, I can’t understand why anyone would refuse professional treatment before having a child in the first place AND THEN having a second. When do you ever plan on seeking treatment?

    You need to let your doctor know that you have eating issues, anonymous. Don’t let this slide. Is the harm that you are causing your child by not eating worth 15lbs? If it is, then you seriously need to reevaluate your priorities. Getting pregnant isn’t for everybody. Being a mother isn’t for everybody. It could be for you, but you need help before it ruins you and your child.

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