# of pregnancies:3 total, 2 miscarriages before 12 weeks, 1 full term
Postpartum: 4 weeks postpartum, C-Section
At my age and given that I lost 2 pregnancies before this I should really not be so vain, but I am horrified and floored at what I look like now. I don’t think that time or exercise are going to help.
I started my pregnancy at 5’5″ and hovering between 151 and 155 pounds. I lookied pretty good at that weight because I carried a lot of muscle, although 145 would have been perfect. I felt like garbage my whole pregnancy and lost my job at the end of my first trimester, so I was not very active. I did not, however, eat like a crazy woman.
Imagine my shock when I weighed myself the day before I had the baby and was at 205! FIFTY pounds. The stretchmarks aren’t too bad, fairly faint and all on the lower belly.
In the 2 weeks after I had him I lost 35 pounds. I really had no appetite after the c-section, so it wasn’t too hard. Now, however, my metabolism seems to have crashed. The scale hasn’t budged in 2 weeks, and I am eating healthfully, and trying to eat more to keep myself from going into starvation mode. I started walking 1 week postpartum and just started back at the gym this week.
Here’s the thing, I could handle the stretchmarks, I could handle the fat, even the fact that my boobs have gone down a cup size and headed south, but the hanging apron of skin is just gross. I feel deformed. It even smells bad under there so several times a day I have to pull up the flap of skin and clean & dry the area so it soesn’t get all sweaty & nasty. Plus I think I have a hernia. I feel a weird “ball” just over my belly button. The front pictures don’t look so bad, but the side picture shows the hangy stuff.
My fiance is loking to be intimate and I just hate the thought of exposing myself to him. He’s several years younger and has a permanent 6-pack, and although he would never say anything bad about the way I look, I can’t deal with the thought of him being secretly turned off by what’s happened to my body. I know I am.