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Proud to be a mother at last (Alex)

Age: 35
No of pregnancies and births: 4 and 1 live birth
Post partum: 9 weeks

Having lost 3 babies I never thought I would become a mother. In may heart I blamed myself and after my last miscarriage in 2006 I spent 2 years trying for another baby so by the end of 2008 I had decided to be happy with not having children. So when the pregnancy test came back positive in January 2009 I was slightly dismayed. I know I should have been happy but I had finally accepted my circumstances and now I had to think again. As a result I didn’t enjoy the first few months of pregnancy with constant nausea, tiredness and weight gain but by the 2nd trimester I had come to terms with things and was beginning to enjoy my pregnancy and my body. I really liked the changes in my body and I especially loved being able to celebrate my tummy getting bigger and the lovely baby that I knew was growing inside. I had no real problems with the pregnancy but when my waters broke and the contractions did not start I waited another 4 days before finally going into hospital to be induced. I had hoped for a home water birth using hypnobirthing techniques but ended up with an induced, forceps delivery and an episiotomy to boot. It couldn’t have been more traumatic as little one was back to back (hence waters breaking and no contractions) and when I finally held her I was too in shock to really take in how wonderful she was.

That said I am grateful for my little girl and so far have felt fairly happy with my body. I was at my fittest and lowest weight just before I got pregnant (5ft 5inches and 133lbs) and I gained 41lbs when I was pregnant. So far I have lost 19lbs (currently weigh 155lbs) and at least 10lbs of that was baby and placenta. I am breast feeding and am fairly active in the day carrying my now 12lb baby in a sling everyday so I think that helps.

Although things are wobblier and my boobs are a bit saggier I’m trying not to expect too much from myself and to accept that bodies change all the time whether through pregnancy or with age so acceptance will always be necessary. Luckily as I am in my mid thirties I feel less concerned with physical beauty now than I did when I was younger and can see beauty in a wider range of things than I did back then. Perfection is great but requires a whole heap of effort to keep it going. I’d rather spend time cuddling my daughter and seeing her wonderful smile as I know how fleeting things can be.

Thanks,
Alex

in Belly, Breasts, Child Loss, Four or More Pregnancies, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions

20 comments… add one

  • vmommy Tuesday, December 15, 2009, 2:06 pm

    WOW! you look amazing! I wouldn’t have been able to tell you had a baby if it weren’t for this site/story! fabulous!

  • Lauren Tuesday, December 15, 2009, 2:41 pm

    Congrats on your baby!! You look really good! :)

  • Mary Tuesday, December 15, 2009, 3:26 pm

    Nine weeks pp, you look AMAZING! Congratulations on your little one and keep up the active lifestyle, it helps!

  • Bryana Tuesday, December 15, 2009, 4:18 pm

    You have a beautiful body that you should feel no shame or emberassment towards. Your body is absolutely amazing for only 9 weeks post partum. :) You are gorgeous!

  • chris Tuesday, December 15, 2009, 5:05 pm

    Alex,

    Congrads on being a new mom!! Sad to hear about your delivery, but glad to her that your daughter and you are doing okay. Sounds to me like you have a healthy mindset. Besides, perhaps perfection comes from just being comfortable with who are. That said you look perfect as you are….

  • Jessica F. Tuesday, December 15, 2009, 5:17 pm

    You look great! Congrats on your baby enjoy her while she still likes to cuddle :)

  • shanen Tuesday, December 15, 2009, 5:18 pm

    congrats on ur baby and ur body is beautiful. u know they say sometimes you have to let go of ur dreams before they come back to u. a similar thing happened for me.

  • shannon Tuesday, December 15, 2009, 7:43 pm

    Congrats Mama! I have tears in my eyes from your story…I am glad that you have gotten the greatest gift.

  • Sarah Tuesday, December 15, 2009, 8:08 pm

    You look fantastic! You were blessed with gorgeous skin and breasts! I loved breastfeeding (breastfed 2 yrs 5 mo) and I miss it quite a bit. It’s such a special time. That plus carrying my baby everywhere I think helped me lose weight and regain muscle and I think you’ll discover the same will be true with you. You already look fantastic! You have a beautiful shape and a small waist! Congratulations! :)

  • Sarah Tuesday, December 15, 2009, 8:09 pm

    Oh one more thing… I also ended up with a vacuum delivery, an induction, and an episiotomy. Oh it hurt so much!!! I’m hoping to be delivered in a hospital but by a midwife next time around with little intervention. I’m praying it’ll be a better, less traumatic, experience.

  • debra Tuesday, December 15, 2009, 8:36 pm

    You are blessed. Very pretty body.

  • Brittany Tuesday, December 15, 2009, 9:18 pm

    Hi Alex. Congratulations on finally becoming a mother! It’s the most amazing thing you will ever experience. I love your outlook on life (I can’t wait for my 30s!) and your wider view of beauty. I hope that you feel beautiful because you really are! Your breasts look fantastic; obviously milk-filled, which I think is when breasts are in their full glory! I think your linea negra is very cute too! Keep lovin’ and nursing that baby of yours!
    Thank you for sharing.

  • Berni Wednesday, December 16, 2009, 4:22 am

    I am sorry to hear about your miscarriages and traumatic labour….
    You look great! I cannot believe you are only 9 weeks pp. Your body looks womanly, not saggy or flabby at all.

  • Charley Wednesday, December 16, 2009, 5:26 am

    You look Amazing….honestly!

  • Christie Wednesday, December 16, 2009, 2:17 pm

    Wow! You look fantastic, really curvaceous and sexy. Sorry for your losses, and traumatic delivery. I had forceps and and episiotomy too, it’s barbaric :S Congratulations on your baby girl and keep enjoying life, well done!

  • Alysia Sunday, December 20, 2009, 3:44 am

    I’d take that body any day!

  • chj Sunday, December 20, 2009, 11:39 pm

    i don’t have any kids..and i thinky our body looks really good!! it looks womanly..i love it

  • Kelaiah Lynn Saturday, December 26, 2009, 10:06 pm

    you look wonderful, your body mirrors mine after I had my first in 1995.

  • Dan Saturday, February 6, 2010, 5:12 pm

    You are absolutely beautiful,and those are the most perfect breasts i have ever seen.

  • Emma Wednesday, March 3, 2010, 2:39 am

    Couldn´t agree more with everyone else.

    You should be very proud of your body. You have the curves in the right places and it looks great and sexy

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