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It is What it is (Anonymous)

3 years Post partum. 2 c sections, 32 years old.

I had severe undiagnosed perinatal depression with my first child, leading to me demanding a c section or I was going to throw myself off of a ledge. I was terrified and didn’t want to ever be left alone for fear of what might happen. Thankfully treated Post partum depression with my 2nd, so much more manageable.

I will never look the same again, and it has severely impacted how and when I work out or hike or rock climb or anything. My sense of self has been so contorted since being pregnant I am just now grasping at who I used to be.

I loved my body before children. It was the body that was reliable, and would push me to my limits, create expression through movement or strength. I could feel alive in my body and what I was capable of. Pregnancy changed my entire existence. Would I trade my body back?? Of course I would. Right now though, I’m dedicated to reading to my children in the evening even if it means I can’t get my run in. Sometimes I’m depressed about it, most times, however I am now realizing that permanence has no place in my life. Everything is temporary and there is a peace that comes with experiencing and living this.

That’s how it goes. Some days I’m lost, some days I’m found. But it is what it is.

in Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Mom over 30, Postpartum, PPD - Postpartum Depression, Submissions

4 comments… add one

  • D Tuesday, October 11, 2016, 7:54 pm

    You look amazing!! There is absolutely nothing to be self conscious over. A lot of people would kill for that body.

  • Jenn Sunday, November 13, 2016, 5:21 am

    You look amazing! You look fit and strong!

  • john Monday, January 2, 2017, 7:06 am

    you look great but more important than that, you ARE great!

  • Rachel Monday, January 23, 2017, 7:52 pm

    I am 30 with one child, and I would LOVE to have your body. My stomach is stretched out beyond repair and yours still looks amazing.

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