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I’m going to be real: with myself (Anonymous)

May 21, 2008

I’m not going to say anything along the lines of “I know my body is beautiful”, because, simply, I dont. I still cry often even though I have been given the most beautiful little boy, and even though we’ve been sharing our lives for 4 months now. Every time I look in the mirror, my face wrinkles in disgust and my mind explodes with a million thoughts of dread and hate for what I’ve become – not spiritually(a mother) but physically. Some days are easier to realise that I am beautiful. I pray that I will find the strength that of of you beautiful souls shine so brightly.


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7 Responses to “I’m going to be real: with myself (Anonymous)”

  1. jenifer Says:
    May 21st, 2008 at 10:03 am

    OMG…I have the same belly as you!!!It has been 2.5 years and it is finally becoming smaller. Still has a bit of an “apron” but it does shrink. You look incredible!!Especially for being so soon after postpartum!!

  2. Barb Says:
    May 21st, 2008 at 2:21 pm

    I might as well have posted this myself!!!! I feel the same way everyday and am still trying to find new ways to feel better about myself. You look beautiful!!!

  3. Milk Mama Says:
    May 21st, 2008 at 8:15 pm

    I’m sure that we all feel a little disgust towards ourselves. We’re angry that our bodies aren’t their virginal, teenage, thin, mark-free, old selves. But our bodies have gone through more than childhood. They’ve gone through motherhood. Motherhood has left its mark on us all. They aren’t all positive marks and I’m sure that even the most positive, spiritual mother of all hasn’t always said positive things about herself. But really it takes a lot of telling yourself that you are beautiful… even on those days that you disbelieve it the most… especially on those days!
    You are beautiful. Not because you have a perfect body… beauty goes far deeper than that. You are beautiful for bringing another life into the world and for enduring one of the most life-threatening things… childbirth… yes, it’s life threatening (not so much by today’s standards)… but it is truly hard on one’s body. You are beautiful for being a mother. That’s a beauty that some women may never be able to possess. You are blessed!

  4. jessica Says:
    May 21st, 2008 at 8:16 pm

    I think you look great! Your chest and legs are awesome..and sure you have a “mommy tummy” but that tummy carried your son and gave life! You grew a human! I know youll never feel 100% again and Theres nothing anyone can say to make you feel that way..it really only matters what you think about your body. Im struggling with my body image as well..it is tough..I have bad days and days where I feel good..Just got to remember that there are all diff shapes sizes and colors of beautiful!

  5. K Says:
    May 22nd, 2008 at 4:03 am

    I can empathize and relate. Did you have a C-section? Well, I’ve had two. Two babies later and having now been a mother for more than four years, I still don’t feel like “myself.” People think I look great, but it is really difficult for me to accept, believe and internalize their compliments. Baby #2 has taken more of a toll on me. Stomach has not recovered as quickly and my hips, though always wide and curvy, seem much more so now. If I were viewing myself from a third-person perspective, I would probably say I looked good; but I am my biggest critic – as so many women are of themselves.

  6. Liz Says:
    May 22nd, 2008 at 2:57 pm

    OMG You look just like me! I had tears in my eyes because I thought I was the only mum whose tummy looks like this. Thank you so much for being brave enough to do what I’m not. My dh often says that my tummy tells story, the story of my life and our family. It’s like a road map of our love. Aaah! Still can’t help wishing he was the one with the road map tummy!LOL

  7. lizz Says:
    May 30th, 2011 at 8:49 pm

    its so hard isn’t it that our bodies become things that bring us so much sadness due to something that brings us so much joy! i hope you start feeling better sometime soon and enjoy ur child!

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