Previous post here.
When I read over my previous submission from a year ago, my stomach clenches and my chest feels tight. I sounded so sad and hopeless, like pregnancy was an entry into a beauty contest that I had already lost. I have almost zero pictures of me and my baby when she was very young because I was so uncomfortable with my appearance and I will always regret that. I wish I could go back in time and say “Stop wallowing and take some damn pictures with your baby!”
I worked extremely hard in the following months to lose the 70lbs I gained during pregnancy. Strapped my daughter to my chest in a carrier and walked around the neighborhood as often as I could, followed a strict diet and did strength training in my living room when my kid fell asleep. It was tough but I’m stronger than I have ever been because I now have a reason to be healthy and not just skinny. I’m the first to recognize that I was relatively lucky in the skin department and admit that I sometimes use self-tanner/push-up bras to conceal my “flaws”, but no diet or exercise regime will ever erase the stretchmarks from my hips and thighs or lift my boobs back to their starting position. Obnoxious people in my life still have some less than flattering comments but I am usually OK with rocking a bikini because I earned these abs AND these stretchmarks.
Anyway- over the last year, my happiest memories have never been related to my outfit or my weight. The best days were the ones when I forgot about my appearance and just spent time with my kid.
First pic- six months after birth
Second pic- 11 months
Third pic-my guns from carrying an infant