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emotional teen mom (Erin)

June 19, 2008

My name is Erin im 17 years old and have a beautiful baby girl jade star she is four months old i have had many problems though out my life to start growing up my parents were drug addicts they arent anymore but it was a hard time in my life my grandma passed away when i was 14 and left to us my mentally disabled aunt and uncle they have fragile x known to most people as special ed this ment we had to move our three bedroom one bath house was too small for six peopl let alone eight so we moved and took them in right after my parents gave up their nasty habit they had a few slip ups but they have been clean for nearly two years right after we moved i had to join the independent studies program to help take care of my aunt and uncle this meant school only once a week and bing the only person in the class i was a very social person and this was very hard for me the summer of that year my dad got a better paying job which meant my mom could quit and i could go back to school that summer my sister “came out” she was a lesbian not a big surprise also that summer i met the most amzing guy i have ever me before him i was sooo innocent all that changed after 2 months with him i lost my virginity in the bback of his truck not the smartest thing i ever did but i dont regrete one minuet of it immediatly after that i got on birth control my mom warned me that she got pregnant while on the pill but i didnt listen i was my own person parents are stupid oooh boy was i wrong after being together one year and never missing a day on the pill i found out i was pregnant my parents were soooo happy his not soo happy his mom and dad and stepmom all told me to get an abortion this i going to mess up his life well i dont believe in abortions to many people in my family have had miscarriages and still births even babies born healthy later to die of sids i was a born mom i had always had the mother instinct no way i could ever give away a baby trough out my pregnancy i was treated badly by his family my parents told me not to worry about anything they woould pay for everything and we could live here we wouldnt have to get jobs just finish high school even with this support i remained depressed body image was very important to me i wasnt big at all but i felt huge i weighed 110 before and gained like 50 lbs i was really small untill a few weeks before she was born i had no stretch marks on my stomach which was the main thing i ws concerned about then the day she was bor everyone came to see her in the hospital ther was 20 or soo people crammed into one room so i was off to take a shower while in the shower i looked at my stomach hoping to be joyed with no stretch marks but oddly i was covered i fell to the ground of the shower balling i couldnt believe I got stretch marks on my stomach i was horrrified all i could do was cry after everything i had gone through to not get them all the lotion i lathered on that the smell made me throw up over i had used and no results i heard everyone in the room happy and cheerful and no one knew what i was going through then my baby started crying i snapped out of it and got out my baby is the mast important thing of all to me now 4 months later i am still horrified with my bady and i am planning on getting a huge tatoo over my belly i am ashamed of them how come some people get them and others dont and why did i have to be the some people how can people be ok with sagging skin and red marks all over their body i want my old body back dont get me wrong i would never take back the events in my life or my beautiful baby girl nothing in the word woulld get m to give her up but im oly 17 i shouldnt ook like this i should be pretty in a bikiny not covering myself in clothing can anyone give me advise on how i can feel better about myself here i am 6 months preggo








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16 Responses to “emotional teen mom (Erin)”

  1. Amy Says:
    June 19th, 2008 at 11:15 am

    give yourself some time! It takes 18 months to recover from having a baby!!! Your belly really is not that bad. Wait to get a tat! Your marks will fade. There is no reason not to wear a bikini! Because people hide their bodies we think that marks are bad, when really they are a sign of how strong you are!! MIne took 3 years, but are a faint silver that only I know are there.

  2. Stacie Hulm Says:
    June 19th, 2008 at 1:25 pm

    You asked for advice on how to feel better about your stretchmarks. You can read my story a couple of stories down from yours. I’ve had them since I was 14. They fade over time and, eventualy, in some lights you can’t see them at all.

    My advice to you would be 1.) Get used to the fact that there is nothing (not even laser surgery) that you can do to totally get rid of them – they will be with you now for the rest of your life. The sooner you accept this the sooner you will be able to find peace over the situation.

    2). Why are stretchmarks such a bad thing anyway? Change your attitude to them, and by doing this you will change other people’s attitude. They are like freckles or beauty marks. They are permanent but not a bad thing … they are there because you gave life. How can that be a bad thing?

    3).Take the focus off yourself and put it onto others. Take every bit of energy that you use not liking yourself and use that energy to love and care for the people around you. Your life will be much more enriched for it and one day you’ll look down at your stretchmarks and not even batter an eyelid – because they just won’t be that important anymore.

    Trust me. I have stretchmarks all over the place … they don’t keep me from being an attractive person – they’ve never held me back in that respect. How many people do you know who have been remembered for their stretchmark free, perfect body? Not really anyone when it boils down to it – not even icons like Marilyn Monroe (who was a very unhappy person by the way … even though she was supposedly this uncommonly beautiful woman). What goes down in history, and what people are remembered and admired (or revered )for is what they DO, their actions, intellect and deeds and generally not how they LOOK.

    Don’t sweat the small stuff girl! You’ll be just fine!

    God bless and congrats on your baby!

  3. Sarah Says:
    June 19th, 2008 at 3:45 pm

    Sweetie, pregnancy is different for everyone… but surprisingly, it’s very similar to most people. I have stretchmarks like that on the back of my thigh and tummy. Now, 18 months after I gave birth to a healthy baby girl, they are hardly visible. They WILL fade.
    In the meantime, be proud that you have such a flat tummy!!! Lucky thing!!! =)

  4. Nicole Says:
    June 19th, 2008 at 11:08 pm

    Hey Sweetie!
    My first was at 19 and I wanted to tell you that I can relate to you. I am now 28 with 3 kids.. and I don’t know if you are breastfeeding or not but that would help. You are still gorgeous and what I mainly wanted to tell you is that even though they look scary to you now they will fade. I see three people already wrote to you and said this. but I have stretch marks and the older ones you can’t even really see. My new ones are red and purple and yes sightly….AT FIRST!! they will fade to silver and I actually like them now. (I used organic lotions and oils too..and still got them) but I know that I wouldnt trade my kids in for my teenage body. Before you know it other people your age will start having kids and your stretch marks will have faded and yours won’t be that noticable… don’t tattoo your belly because it will get all funky if you have another baby. besides why pay to have a mark put on your body to cover up the meaningful purposeful marks that are truly beautiful?? your struggles have made you strong. your daughter appreciates you, just look into her eyes and she will say thank you without words. mothers sacrafice everything for their kids. sometimes i feel like i will never be the person i used to and i start to feel bad.. and its true. i won’t be. it does me no good to think about what i used to look like. mothers are beautiful people and those marks are signs that you love your daughter. eventually and gradually they won’t matter to you anymore. you still have nice skin and its tight. some people have very loose skin that hangs away from their body. i recovered beautifully from my first because i was so young and you will too.. being a young mom is so hard but the recovery is an advantage! good luck and just remember all moms go through this stage of acceptance. you will get through it! (hugs!)

  5. Jamie Says:
    June 20th, 2008 at 8:30 am

    My best advice is to learn to love your body for what it did, even if you can’t love it for how it looks just yet. You created and nurtured a human life inside of you. Your body is amazing!

    The marks will fade, but what YOU did won’t. In the light of eternity, just try to remember that you gave your child something amazing…life! Even if it meant scarring your body.

  6. Cali Says:
    June 20th, 2008 at 10:09 am

    I am so sorry you are having such a hard time. You’ve been exposed to a lot in your young life. Hopefully you will learn to look beyond the stretch marks, and focus on setting a positive example for that little girl of yours.

    That said, I need to tell you that punctuation is our friend. That was *the* hardest post I have read. It is hard to keep the attention of readers with the world’s longest run-on sentence.

  7. Amanda Says:
    June 20th, 2008 at 6:19 pm

    Hey sweety, well I just want to let you know that I too had a baby at 17, and I felt that same insecurity about getting back into a bikini. I have stretch marks on my hips, and my inner thighs, and slightly around my breasts. I was 105 when I found out I was pregnant, and gained 60 pounds during pregnancy. My best advice is GIVE IT TIME. It’s taken 13 months to get back to my normal weight, and the stretch marks that were once terribly red have faded to being barely noticeable.
    You are very beautiful, and always remember your baby. =] Good luck

  8. Maria Says:
    June 21st, 2008 at 5:33 pm

    Hey i was 6 mo pregnant when i turned 21, seemed like i was bein punished cause i couldnt celebrate the way i wanted to , but heres the DL: you will realize sooner than most that life is bigger than body image, and that you are not defined by that image. Also, my marks were bright red at first and now 6 mo later, you dont notice much. What you can do hun is buy some Jergens summer glow lotions that gradually tan you. Because they will dye the stretch marks and help em blend in! It works for me. Dont use a tanning bed tho, it will tan everything BUT the stretch marks. Just take it slow and appreciate this time in your life, you will come out a better person because of it :-)

  9. Rachel Says:
    June 22nd, 2008 at 6:15 am

    First off I want to say congrats on the baby. Second I have two boys and an ugly c-section scar. I have always been a large girl and I have had stretch marks sinse I was in middle school due to just being large. Own your body. Be proud of it. You really don’t look bad. As for your tattoo, be sure it is what you really want. Also be aware that sometimes the ink will be rejected by stretch marks and scar tissue.

  10. Sabrina Says:
    June 22nd, 2008 at 10:44 pm

    Yes, ditto ditto ditto – the red lines fade, always, into silvery white lines, which probably doesn’t reassure you now, but the other thing that fades (with the wisdom and beauty of mothers) is the false ideas that skin should be flawless, that women have a standard. For me that standard is that I am healthy and happy. Beauty is one thing, is many different opinions, but Love is a totally different thing, and your mate’s love and your child’s love and your parents’ and friends’ love should never hinge on whether or not you have scars on your skin. Think about who matters to you most – strangers on the beach or at the pool, or those closest to you, who know your past struggles and accomplishments (having a child). You were right – those people in the room had no idea what you were upset about, because they were awed by the amazing event that just happened – a daughter was born, and the shell of that child no doubt has cracks, but even the most devastated bellies are incredibly beautiful once you realize the correlation of it all.

    Have confidence in your abilities to carry a child full term, give birth, nurture, and heal. You have no saggy skin – everyone can chose where to put their energy – change your negative thoughts of your body image into nurturing thoughts for your daughter, healing thoughts for your body and mind (18 months is a very good time frame as example to recover fully from pregnancy), and endurance to finish school and fly past this stage of un-acceptance.

    blessings on you and baby

  11. Dana Says:
    June 23rd, 2008 at 12:04 pm

    You are beautiful.

    That being said, have you ever heard of something called punctuation?

  12. Leah Says:
    June 26th, 2008 at 9:57 am

    You are strong and beautiful!

    And please ignore the comments on punctuation. I am an editor and find your post very readable.

    And you people who felt the need to comment on something as inane as punctuation, get a life!

  13. Nicole Says:
    June 26th, 2008 at 12:45 pm

    Hi I already wrote you above.. but I checked back in on your comments.. and I just LOVE what Sabrina wrote you.. absolutely beautiful and from the heart. It’s amazing what hanging out with some REAL people/moms can do.. what she said really inspired me. So Sabrina- if you are reading this KUDOS!!! And Erin, I hope you have begun to feel better.. You have some great supporters here.. and ignore the punctuation comments.. this is a place of healing. this girl has been through enough people! don’t get down on her more.. this isn’t a writing contest. if you don’t like what/how she wrote just move on….i would never leave a hurtful comment to someone that is bearing their soul.

  14. SAMERA Says:
    December 8th, 2008 at 7:50 am

    GOD you only have a few marks on your tummy your soooo lucky my tummy is covered and your tummy is soo flat

  15. Brittney Says:
    January 7th, 2009 at 9:46 pm

    First, I just want to saw, be happy with the way you look. you have hardly any stretch marks and you tummy looks tight to me. I grew up with a physically and verbally abusive dad and a mom who didn’t want to try to stop it because her dad was the same way. I had no self-esteem growing up and began looking for love from any one, mostly men. I got pregnant at seventeen and had my son at eighteen. i am now nineteen and my son is nine months old. He was a big baby, 8 pounds 6 ounce and 24 inches long. i gained sixty pounds or so and have horrible stretch marks all over my thighs, hips, butt and tummy. The best way i can describe it is my brain skin on my tummy. my boobs are deflated and saggy. my nipples are stretched and look horrible. i hate being naked. i avoid mirrors, something that started while i was pregnant. now, i am nineteen and i have the body of a forty year old woman, its not fair and it is hard to accept, but you still have an amazing body. enjoy it while you have it. i didn’t and now i regret it. time will fix what you have. you got lucky.

  16. another nicole Says:
    October 11th, 2010 at 6:52 pm

    hey dont worry about it……im 23 soon to be 24 about 110lbs and have stretch marks on my breasts, but, hips inner thighs and have never been pregnant..seems like i had a sudden growth spurt in my late teens… i dont bother about them sometimes i dont even notice that they are there………..

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