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Anonymous

I am a mother. My son, Vincent Michael, never took a breath of air. His spirit is well-alive, though.

“There is no heartbeat. I’m sorry”, says the doc. My heart broke. My husband’s eyes welled up and I knew, though in shock, that it was real.

I was 34 weeks along…this doesn’t happen, right? Our beautiful baby boy’s body was delivered 12 hours later with the help of my incredible midwife and the best L & D staff in the world. They treated us like family….we felt their love and compassion. Vincent was perfect. I remember what his forehead felt and smelled like when i kissed him—so sweet. During his short stay in my belly, Vincent saved us. He led his father, me, and my father to the Lord. We were all baptised in the Gulf of Mexico–little Vinnie warm in the womb. He wanted to make sure his parents and paw paw would hold him again one day. Though we don’t have any earthly answers why Vincent left us so soon (his chubby body, umbilical cord, and placenta were flawless), we are certain that our Lord gives, and takes away, according to His great plan. The clouds will fade, the sun will shine again. It takes a little time and a lot of Jesus to heal. Victory.

in Belly, Child Loss, First Pregnancy, Submissions

41 comments… add one

  • Crystal Sunday, December 10, 2006, 2:00 am

    With much love to you, mama~ Thank you for being brave enough and strong enough to share your story with us. Your son is beautiful

  • Christine Sunday, December 10, 2006, 3:04 am

    You are an amazing mother. My prays and thoughts are with you and your family.

  • Shannon Sunday, December 10, 2006, 5:34 am

    The strength you show in the pictures with your sweet Vincent astound me.

    To be able to smile is a true gift and one that I hope you never ever lose.

    My heart goes out to you and your husband.

  • Amber Sunday, December 10, 2006, 6:29 am

    I’m at a loss for words, but wanted to give you some (((((BIG hugs))))).

  • monkeynpeanutsmom Sunday, December 10, 2006, 9:14 am

    I am so sorry for your loss. Our first son Elijah was stillborn at 34wks. If you ever need to talk feel free to email me.

  • Elizabeth Sunday, December 10, 2006, 1:45 pm

    So sorry fro your loss. So glad that you were able to share your story. You are a mother in every sense of the word, and you have touched many with your post and pictures.

    Blessings to you and your family.

  • marjorie Sunday, December 10, 2006, 7:17 pm

    I was so sorry to read about your loss of your little boy. I’m keeping you and your husband in my thoughts and prayers.

  • Angela Sunday, December 10, 2006, 9:36 pm

    I stumbled across your story and am so touched by it. I am 32 weeks along and also a Christian. Your little boy was a special creation who lived the short life he did full of purpose to bring glory to God through your lives. I am so excited for you to get to be with him again someday.
    Thanks again for sharing!

  • Tammy Monday, December 11, 2006, 6:38 am

    I am so touched by your story. I am in awe of your courage and admire your strength in the midst of such heartache.

    May God richly bless you and your husband.

  • Mandy Monday, December 11, 2006, 6:48 am

    what a beautiful baby…

    i admire your strength.

  • Kimmieindallas Monday, December 11, 2006, 7:46 am

    These angel babies of ours DO change lives. Vincent may touch more than you can ever imagine now that you’ve posted this. I was 38.5 weeks when my daughter died for no apparent reason. I can’t believe that was almost 10 years ago now. I’m so sorry for your loss. I wish you much joy in the future.

  • Cass Monday, December 11, 2006, 11:58 am

    Thank you for sharing your story. Your son is beautiful, and you and your family are blessed to have those few photographs.

    I admire the strength of you and your husband, as well as your family.

    It is Amazing, what power a child of God has.

    Amazing Grace to You and Yours.

  • Jessica Monday, December 11, 2006, 6:17 pm

    Very beautiful baby. God Bless you and your family.

  • Hailee Tuesday, December 12, 2006, 3:05 am

    He was absolutley beautiful! I heard this little quote that might make you feel better…

    An angel in the book of life
    Wrote down our baby’s birth
    And whispered as she closed the book~
    “Too beautiful for Earth”

  • Kristen Tuesday, December 12, 2006, 10:32 am

    I’m sorry for your loss. Your son will always live in your hearts, and God knew why what happened happened, even when we don’t understand we rest in his peace. God bless you and your family.

  • Isabelle Tuesday, December 12, 2006, 11:42 am

    Thank you for sharing your story.
    You are amazingly strong.

  • Alexis Tuesday, December 12, 2006, 6:23 pm

    I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Many prayers being sent your way.

  • heather Wednesday, December 13, 2006, 1:43 pm

    Thank you for sharing your story. I have tears reading it. The Lord works in ways we do not understand. I am so touched by your experience and your response to it. Christian blessings to you and your dear son in heaven.

  • Rachel Friday, December 15, 2006, 3:29 pm

    thanks for sharing your story sweetie :'( I went to high school (BHS) with you and we have some mutual friends (I have a my space) One of them told me about what happened and asked me to keep y’all in my prayers. As soon as I saw the name I knew who it was….I have read this site for quite a while so it startled me to see you. Small world. You are a wonderful mom and may God continue to heal your hearts.

  • Misslady Wednesday, January 10, 2007, 3:22 am

    God bless you mama. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. It really hits home because I am due in 2 weeks.I will say a prayer of strength for you and you husband.Life works in mysterious ways, but you never know what kind of good can come out of a loss.Your son came for a reason and you may not see it now but one day youll look back and realize what that reason was. Keep your head up babygirl.

  • Angie Monday, January 15, 2007, 5:23 pm

    Bright blessings to you and yours. Be brave, beautiful.

  • crystal .s Friday, April 27, 2007, 12:35 am

    I can’t beleive the stregnth you and your husband carry,to see you holding your son and your husband kissing his head,with the hurt i see in you trully amazes me,I can’t say how much I admire your stregnth.I would fall in a lifeless excistence.Right now i am expecting my third child and it scares me with all the risks and sometimes well most of the time it’s something you just can’t prevent.I did loose a child in a miscarrige that alone was heartbreaking nor will I ever forget.But to you god bless.

  • mamma Thursday, May 10, 2007, 6:56 pm

    I think the pictures of you and vincent are so beautiful, I can tell how much you love your baby. He is so beautiful, sweet and innocent and you are so strong. I hope you are doing well now. I will be thinking about you Vincent and your husband. Thank you so much for sharing the beautiful story and pictures.

  • Kimberly Friday, July 20, 2007, 8:09 am

    Thank you so much for sharing your pictures. My son was stillborn at 40 weeks, so I understand your pain. You’re right, we’re still mothers.

    Best wishes.

  • K Friday, July 20, 2007, 10:31 am

    I’m in tears. Your faith in the midst of such a trial is so inspiring. You have made your Father proud.

  • Roseann Wednesday, November 28, 2007, 9:44 am

    I am so sorry for your loss. Unfortunately, the same thing happened to me, and the same exact words were said. My little boy, Lee Michael, never took his first breath either.

    My thoughts are with you… and if you ever need someone to talk to who truly “understands” what you are feeling… PLEASE contact me!

    I lost my little boy in 2001… but I now have 2 beautiful children!

    We adopted a little boy, and then I found out I was pregnant again… She was born 6 months later!!!

    2 kids who are 5 years old and BOTH in Kindergarten this year…

    DREAMS do come true!!

  • gabriella Monday, December 3, 2007, 8:46 am

    chills are still about me after reading this, and seeing your photos.
    Saying sorry for your loss would not bring comfort of any kind, because only time can do that.

    I’m 33 weeks pregnant today.
    And grateful for every kick and nudge my son gives to my swollen belly.

    Everyone wanted me to get rid of him, but I hear stories like this, and I think they’re the selfish ones. I’m going to give birth to my son in January and I’ve quit talking to those who wanted me to ruin his perfect little life.

    I send you blessings of all kinds!

  • Kristi Saturday, December 15, 2007, 7:08 pm

    Oh, this is one of the best stories I have ever read. Your intimacy with Christ radiates through the words. How beautiful your son is, and how much more beautiful is his glorified body as he worships Christ at this very moment!

    To God be the glory and all joy is ours to know Him and see Him work. You are a beautiful mother.

    Thank you for sharing this.

  • Megan Monday, April 21, 2008, 8:21 am

    God bless you! You’ve shared your story and shown your pictures and it has touched so many people. I cried for your loss and know that you’ll see him again! Yes, he was/is perfect!

  • Jessica Boell Monday, May 5, 2008, 12:07 am

    I am only 17, but I have witnessed both of my baby brothers being born. I cannot even imagine what you went through, and you are one of the few strong that were able to handle it.
    My aunt had a baby before I was born that had a condition that after he was born, he only lived for a week.
    My heart goes out to you and your husband as I sit here bawling.
    My prayers are with you :-)

  • Stacie Hulm Wednesday, July 30, 2008, 1:04 pm

    and we waste time worrying about the exterior …

  • Jadelee Tuesday, August 12, 2008, 11:11 am

    I hope that after all this time you have been able to heal a little after your childs birth. Though he is not here you will always be his mother and no one can ever take that away from you. I commend you. It takes a mothers love to be able to hold her child though he has passed on and even smile at just being able to hold him before he is gone. You are so strong and brave. I would not have been able to endure such pain. My thoughts and prayer are with you and your family.

  • Megan Wednesday, August 13, 2008, 7:45 pm

    I just found this website, and I came across these pictures and and found myself deeply sobbing. I am truly sorry, and I am awestruck. As a christian myself, your faith is so incredible. I hope to God, that if I am ever tested to this degree, that I will be a beacon of light to others, like you are.

    There are very few times that I have been so moved to pray instantly for someone, and to feel it so deeply in my heart. It sounds so selfish, but your reality is so unselfish.

  • Dani Dumas Thursday, August 14, 2008, 1:53 pm

    I am crying for you. And praying for you. I asked my daddy once (who died 5 years ago) “Why does God take babies?” Daddy told me it was to pour the rain thru the tiny holes in the clouds, that were too big for adult angels to get into. HE said it was also so that adult angels who left their babies behind could feel better. I still believe that in a way. So every time it rains, think of your little Vincent pouring the rain onto you from the tiny holes in the clouds.

  • Stacie Allocco Thursday, August 14, 2008, 8:30 pm

    I can’t help but think (due to your stunning resilience and outlook) that you yourself could be an angel. The strength you’re inspiring in others by selflessly sharing your story is a beautiful gift. God must have very special plans for you and your family. I know that when life gets challenging, I will think of you and Vincent.

  • Charlotte Monday, September 8, 2008, 12:48 pm

    I know exactly what you’re going through, i lost Cash on Aug 20, 2008 and it broke my heart. i am still struggling to get my life back on track. god bless you and keep strong.

  • mother2 Thursday, October 9, 2008, 3:52 pm

    I am sorry for your loss. He was so precious. How can you not love a chubby baby? I know you will be eternally grateful for his presence in your life. Congratulations on your decision to accept Christ. I look forward to meeting you one day, sister. ;)

  • rose Saturday, November 15, 2008, 9:40 pm

    im so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful son you have. you will see him again one day in heaven! he is watching down on you , laughing and playing and singing. a little angel. God bless you and your husband and i pray that with time your wounds will heal. thank you for sharing your story, and as hard as it is to believe everything happens for a reason. i pray that God bless you again soon with another child!

  • Marinda Monday, December 1, 2008, 4:56 pm

    Your son was beautiful. My first daughter, Charlotte, was stillborn at 36 1/2 week last year. I will always be grateful for the 9 months I had with her, and for the stretch marks that prove I carried a life. This year I gave birth to Sophia, and she has added to my belief in miracles. You become a mother as soon as your baby’s heart starts to beat.

  • Grl29 Wednesday, March 18, 2009, 8:17 pm

    Thank you for sharing your story, I am 33 weeks now so I can understand the hurt you must have felt just a week from now losing the one you bonded with so much. Your strength and beauty really are something to be envied. My prayers and wishes to you and your family. You are a brave and beautiful soul and your story and pictures are beautiful. I can see how much love you and your husband have for your first born.

  • amy Monday, October 26, 2009, 10:31 pm

    I am so sorry for your great loss.. Hoping time has healed in some way for you both.

    My mom lost 2 babies to stillbirth and had one miscarriage before going on to have us SIX kids. I still wonder how much she mourns the three that came before us.. So sad.. Must ask her very soon, cannot imagine the loss and sadness she must have felt.

    Hoping you too go on to have the family you desire, and the losses are more easy to bear…

    Take care.

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