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I have three children, two girls and boy, ages 5, 3, and nine months. My girls were born only sixteen months apart, and the toll on my body was huge. The space between my second girl and my little boy- almost three years- felt luxurious and long, and thankfully, the recovery time for my body has been much quicker this time. But even though I feel like I’m looking pretty good these days, nine months after his birth, I still get people asking me if I’m pregnant quite often. That prompted me to start exercising (I got a bike and surprise, surprise, I still remember how to ride…) and I got a few intoxicating “Have you lost weight?” comments, followed by another dissapointing question about my nonexistent pregnancy just last week.

I wish I had some pictures of my belly after my first two births, but I guess it wouldn’t have occured to me to take any, because I found my body too upsetting- the stretch marks, the awful fold-over flap in my belly, the general spread-out-ness of my whole torso. After each birth, my belly really was deflated- I was huge each time, so much so that people thought I was six months pregnant when I was two, or nine months when I was five. I can’t count the number of times people asked if I was having twins, or said “So, you must be due any day now!” when I had several more long months ahead of me.

Finally though, and in large part from seeing all these pictures of all these beautiful, brave mothers, I’m finding some self-esteem again, and realizing that the body I have now was strong enough to birth and nurse three big, healthy babies, and that’s worth infinitely more than tight abs. I actually like my body now- when I went to take some pictures to send in, I was surprised to see that they actually looked kind of sexy, and that I looked MUCH better than the image I had in my mind. And even though I thought that my immediate-post-birth belly was here to stay, and that I’d better just accept it, it’s firmed up considerably, the stretch marks are light, and the fold-over has subsided to an acceptable level. The pictures here are of my 39 week belly with my son, me looking very, very tired and overdrawn from carrying my big boy, and two shots from a few weeks ago.

Thank you “Shape of a Mother” and Bonnie! This is what the Internet should be used for! This is social change and it’s revolutionary! Vive la belly!

39 week belly

So very tired…

The view from above

I look better than I think I do…

Round like the moon

Hi!

What a wonderful website you have, I would like to contribute my photos to your collection. These photos were taken by me (I’m a photographer by profession) during my 9th month of pregnancy with my first child, Sutton. He just turned 6 months old today and my body is back to nearly pre-pregnancy, with larger hips of course. I think it is so important to celebrate the natural beauty of women, all shapes and sizes, as mothers we must strive to represent reality in a culture that is obsessed with stick figure people.

Regards,
Amber, Age 25

P.S. I documented my pregnancy every single day during the pregnancy and afterwards, including photos, if you would like to subscribe or share the blog, the url is: www.xanga.com/mybaby2be

It’s hard to go from looking fertile and goddess-like to looking empty and deflated. This is the difference between the full vessel at 32 weeks and the empty vessel 4 weeks post-partum. I am not vain, nor do I care if my belly is soft and stretch-marked, but it sure is nice to know that there are other mothers out there with the same affliction. The children who came from this womb are more beautiful than my belly ever was, so I feel like I got the best end of this deal!

Hello. First I would like to thank you sooo much for making this wondeful site. It has helped me to see that there are others out there besides me that have stretch marks and changes all over their bodies due to pregnancy.

I found out I was pregnant at a young age of only 14 years old. It was a very hard and rough pregnancy to say the least. I gained over 75 Ibs. My body was swollen from head to toe. I had very bad edema. I also had Toximia. My blood preasure got as high as 225/125. After giving birth I was placed on many medications to bring my blood preasure down and one landed me in ICU with a heart rate of only 17 beats per minute. So needless to say at this point in time my body image was the least of my worries. But soon everything started to fall back to normal. I lost down to 140 Ibs. which is very small for me. At age 19 I got pregnant yet again. This time I went into pre-term labor at 28 weeks and was placed on Turbuline (spelling?) and had to go to the hospital every tuesday and thursday to recieve IV fluids. I stayed on bedrest and meds. and got the IV fluids untill I finally gave birth at 41 weeks 5 days. In labor the babies heart rate dropped to 30 beats per minute. It was a very hard and stressful labor/delivery. I got most all of my stretch marks from my first pregnancy. I only gained 22 Ibs. with my second.

I look down at my BADLY scarred stomach and I see a brave teenage girl who carryed 2 beautiful healthy baby boys. I have been asked my many kids that see my belly “What are those ugly scarrs on your belly?” I simply tell them that they are my badges of honor. Scarrs that I have recieved creating life and suffering through heart ache and pain to recieve in the end the most amazing gift that God could ever give. Life.

Some of my stretch marks are VERY wide and long. Very red and thin. I am not embarrassed by them what-so-ever. They help me to remember what a strong person I am. How I have carryed a life within and ended up with my 2 sweet precious boys that I love so much. I would go through both pregnancies all over again and recieve these stretch marks and even more for my 2 babies.

Thank you again for this wonderful site.

These pictures are of me 3 years after giving birth. I am currently over-weight and trying to get the weight off.

I was going to share my belly shots several weeks ago, but chickened out at the last minute. I’ve thought about it a lot since then, and I’ve decided I really want to do this. Before I found this site I really thought I was the only woman out there that had stretch marks like this. They cover my body from nipples to knees, with some as thick as my fingers. I never took any photos of my belly while I was pregnant because I was so ashamed of the way I looked. I gained nearly 80 lbs. with each of my two children. It seemed like my skin was literally being torn apart from the inside.

I’ve lost all the pregnancy weight (my youngest is 2 years old now), and then some, through breastfeeding, diet, and excersice, but I’ve only just started to feel comfortable with how I look. This site has helped me in that department in a huge way. My tummy was affectionately known as the prune-belly in our family, but I always thought my stretch marks looked more like the tracks a snail makes in the sand at the bottom of a lake. So to all you other tiger-bellies, and zebra-bellies, I add my snailtrack-belly. The marks of motherhood are echoed all around us.

–Jessie

Dear Shape Of A Mother,

Thank you for the terrific site. I’ve never been so effected by pictures.

Our first pregnancy/delivery was a breeze. Three months to conceive, followed by 8-1/2 months of blissfully easy pregnancy, after which my water broke and a healthy baby girl was born.

Our second pregnancy took us nearly two years to achieve, and was rockier. Our second little girl was stubbornly late. After inducing the delivery, there were complications. The umbilical chord was wrapped around her neck twice, and she was ultimately delivered by emergency c-section.

Our third pregnancy surprised us, from beginning to end. Our son was born 6-1/2 weeks early. It was a very scary and emotional time for us. The doctor made a “north/south” incision on the chance that I would need a hysterectomy as well (in case there was complications with the placenta.) We’re very thankful that all of our babies were delivered and grew to be healthy kids.

Here is my contribution. Nearly three years after the youngest was born.

Thank you.

Kelli

The color photo included is of me at 6 weeks pregnant. The two black and white photo’s are of me now, at 19 1/2 months PP. I’m now 10 lbs lighter than I was pre baby but no one tells you that even when you lose all the weight things are never quite the same.

A friend (not a mama) asked me once what I would give to have my old body back. She’s petrified of what’s going to happen when she gets pregnant and no longer has her body (in which all of her self worth is planted.) I realized then that there was no way to explain to her the trade that takes place. I gave up my perky breasts I liked to “show off” for a slightly deflated version that sustained a human life *exclusively* for nine months and partially nourishes him now at 19 months. I gave up my smooth, tan stomach for a softer version. But my new stomach has felt the kick of life from the inside and cushions the cuddles of my toddler son who cares more about jumping on mama then whether or not my old jeans fit. My hips are wider now. But there is no way my slimmer hips could have carried a boy that weighed 35 lbs at 18 months. You can’t explain to someone that becoming a mother tests who you thought you were and forces you to become a better person you never thought you could be. I can’t explain that my husband finds me attractive b/c he loves me and admires the amazing abilities of a woman’s body. Not because I no longer wear short skirts and high heels.

I hope that women like my friend find the site and read the stories and see the amazing pictures of real women. I hope then they’ll understand that all of the make up and tight clothes (and airbrushing) in the world can’t give you what the women represented here have- A sisterhood of mothers to encourage and support one another, respect for their bodies, and a love for a child that supersedes any amount of weight gain or stretch marks. We’re more than push up bras and thong underwear. We’re women, vessels of life, sensual beings, mother’s, daughter’s, sister’s-
and mother’s.

Dear Shape of a Mother,

I am a 29 year old sahm to 2 wonderful children. I have always been very self-conscous of my body and I still am to this day. The shame happens quite often especially when I am asked how far along I am. Those crushing feelings rear their ugly head when I reply that I am not pregnant and that my baby will soon be 5 years old.

I am in love with a man who does not love me and his love is denied me because of my body. I don’t want him to love me for my body. I want him to love me for me!

I have learned to hide my feelings and my body well! I want to overcome that shame and reading this site helps to pull me from my cocoon. I am determined to love myself no matter what! And seeing other beautiful women inside and out helps me on my journey!

Thank you!

~Anonymous

In 2003 I weighed 227 pounds, at a height of 5’5″. I was diagnosed with Type II diabetes, which is another story in and of itself. Over the course of the next three years, in fits and spurts, I lost 55 pounds. From January through October of 2005 is when I lost the most – when I exercised six days a week, toned my body up tightly, and learned how to run, racing in 3 5K races in July, September and October. In 2005, at my lowest weight since my teenage years (172 pounds!), I became pregnant.

I was anxious about gaining weight, because I’d spent much of my time and effort losing it. I vowed to exercise every single day of my pregnancy, to run until I couldn’t possibly run another step. I never anticipated how very tired and sore my first trimester would be. My breasts ached so much that walking made my chest throb in pain. I was exhausted all of the time, and the nausea was overwhelming. The last time I ran was on November 8th, the day before I tested positive. I tried to run a couple of times afterward, but it just didn’t work out. I walked every single day, out of necessity, as I don’t have a car and commute to work every day via train.

Over the course of the pregnancy, I gained nearly 50 pounds. Half of my weight gain was during the first trimester, when I added 25 without really trying at all – the lack of high-paced exercise plus extra food eaten so I wouldn’t feel queasy or nauseated added up, and added up quickly. My diabetes meant that I had to watch every morself of food I ate and check my blood sugar 4 times daily. I had to take oral medication daily to assist with my blood sugar maintenance, along with daily vitamins and folic acid.

Up until my sixth month of pregnancy, I didn’t feel pregnant at all. I didn’t worry about stretch marks because my belly was already littered with them from my previous weight gain, but I worried about how I would lose the weight associated with this pregnancy. I didn’t feel pregnant; I felt fat. The moment I felt my son move inside me and kick me was one of the most enchanted feelings I’ve ever experienced. And then seeing my belly slowly start to swell made me slowly change my opinion of my body from “Fat and Ugly” to “Pregnant and Beautiful.” I reveled in the swell of my body, the curves of my belly, knowing that I was giving sustenance to a life within me.

I loved being pregnant, despite the daily blood sugar pricks, despite the medication, despite the higher blood pressure toward the end of my pregnancy, despite the weekly non-stress tests during the last month. Being pregnant was the most empowering experience I’ve ever had – to know that I can contribute to the creation of a life is the most amazing thing I’ve ever done.

My birth experience, while not ideal (I was induced at 38w3d because of low amniotic fluid), was also empowering as well. I labored for 21 hours, six of which was spent pushing a 15 inch head through a narrow birth canal, pushing like crazy to avoid having to undergo a c-section. I pushed harder than I’ve ever worked out before, and pushed out an 8lb, 6oz boy, 20 inches long, huge head, and perfect in every way.

Our relationship has flourished ever since. He nurses from me and as I did when he was inside, I provide him sustenance and contribute to his growth. He is growing magnificently. And even though he doesn’t know it, he has given me a huge gift – my self-esteem and understanding about my body I would have never gotten from any amount of therapy or weight loss. My stretch marks (my new ones from pregnancy!) are my daily evidence that I held a human inside me for nine months. I am proud of these track marks and wear them gladly.

I tracked my pregnancy through (almost) weekly photographs (located here).

I’m a little late on this as I’ve been busy (read: “my husband bought me The Sims and… I… can’t… STOP!”), but my long-lost cyber-friend Beverly caught up with me and interviewed me for her awesome zine. Go check it out!