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Before there was you… (Lilola)

There was just me, my story starts typical enough, married my high school sweetheart at 18yo, we were happy just being together conquering the world. Time passes by and I was 24yo, wondering where was time going. I was also wondering why no children yet, why no pregnancy scare, why no monthly periods. So at age 24 I went to the Dr. (RE), had all kinds of tests and so did my hubby, he had one test, and our infertility journey began. I was diagnosed with hormonal imbalance whatever that is and he had slow sperm mobility (70%) but both combined gave us only 30% chance of conceiving on our own. The treatments began, thousands of dollars spent, millions worth in tears and emotional rollercoasters. Still the years passed us by and I was 27 years old with not even a scare or possibility of ever becoming pregnant. Then in October 25th 2009 I unexpectedly became pregnant, under birth control to help my non-existent cycles, the joy was short lived the twin pregnancy was lost at 8 weeks we only dreamed for two weeks then they were gone just as quietly as they had come, I was in so much pain my heart ached so much, but time does heal. That New Year 2010 I felt a new sense of hope and my life seemed full of possibilities, I began a weight loss journey and lost 50 lbs. all the while my goal remaining the same, to become a mother. We took our final infertility treatment October 2010 and when that failed yet again, we decided that enough was enough and we were just going to accept that we were not meant to have babies and live with it. We started to travel, focus on ourselves, little by little though we were growing apart. I felt like a brand new person although my resolution had made me bitter, even though I was healthier than ever and enjoying life with travel and parties, secretly I was mourning my loss. I was mourning something I never had, how could I miss something that never was, secretly I cried myself to sleep, I cried in the shower and was unhappy, unless I was drinking myself to sleep, which I did most nights only then did the pain seem to go away. I was very close to asking my husband for a divorce we were like strangers to each other, only coming together at night. Then the unimaginable, the unexplainable, the miracle happened March 09, 2011 I found out I was pregnant!!!! My miracle/rainbow baby girl was born October 2011 at 29 years old to bring joy and healing to my life, restoring my marriage and enforcing my faith in God and life. I am currently on my second pregnancy with a baby girl due August 2015. The scars my body has are scars of healing after my war with infertility and I wear them proudly. UPDATE-my baby girl is now 9 months and my little big girl is 4 yo w/9 months LIFE IS GOOD..:)my body not so much and after a C-section even worse however I am a MOM!!!

2nd pregnancy 8 months
2 weeks postpartum 2nd pregnancy
6 months postpartum 2nd pregnancy
Before pregnancy 28yo

AGE- 33
NUMBER OF CHILDREN- 8 wk miscarriage of twins –NOW 2 BEAUTIFUL GIRLS (4yo and 9 months)


Categories: Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, Child Loss, Infertility, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Third Pregnancy
1 comment



SOAM is officially ten years old. Just about this time of the day, when my big kid was napping, I took a quick picture of my baby and my belly and posted a new blog asking moms to send me their photos of their postpartum bodies. I felt like, if we had a large database of diverse bodies, we might be able to expand our view of what “beautiful” means; we might be able to fully embrace the idea that what the media shows us is just one kind of beauty and that we harm ourselves by not celebrating more kinds.

These last ten years have been quite a ride. When I first posted this, I wasn’t even officially a homeschooling mom yet since my big kid was only 4. I homeschooled the kids for many years and now they both attend brick-and-mortar schools – my daughter is starting high school this year! This year, my son went to sleep-away camp for the first time. My daughter wanted to go to the Bernie Sanders rally. These small humans who once lived inside my body are growing into remarkable people with passions and a desire to make the world a better place.



What even are stretch marks in comparison with the powerful people who painted them onto my body?

What even is beauty if we don’t admire the hard work that goes into becoming a person and changing the world?

Mamas, today take a moment to admire, love, and celebrate the changes your body has gone through to produce the next generation of wonderful people. Your bodies deserve it and so do you.

Submit your story here.


Categories: My Own Ramblings, News, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement
1 comment

I am 24 years old, I have 2 beautiful little girls – a 2 year old and a 6 month old, and I love them with all my heart and soul. However, I am so disgusted and ashamed of my body that I won’t let my husband see me naked. I gained 40 pounds with both pregnancies and lost all the weight plus some 2 months after each. What I am left with is horrible rippling stretch marks, loose dough like stomach skin, saggy breasts and a flat tush! I have always had insecurities, especially about my face – pretty has never been a word I have ever described myself with, and now that my body is ruined too, I just feel so ashamed. My husband calls me beautiful, and I know he’s lying since he watches porn and has always been very critical of other women’s bodies. When we do have sex and I’m not covered, i can’t enjoy it. My doctor told me there is nothing I can do about my skin. So now I need to find a way to cope with my body as it is. It is to the point where I can’t concentrate or have fun with my children because all I think about is how ugly my tummy has become.

Categories: Belly, Breasts, Butt, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions