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Feminist Friday 5.8



So I know I’m behind the times on this (that’s how I roll) (as evidenced by my usage of the phrase “that’s how I roll”) but as I was going through my links for today’s post, I found this one by The Bloggess. She is my personal hero, of course. While silly, I also think this is really valuable to keep in mind in terms of body image. A thumb face selfie is one where you, like, try to make yourself look like a thumb with a face. It’s the thing these days for pretty girls to do, and not only are the funny faces funny enough to make you laugh tears, but it’s also a reminder that “pretty” is a weird concept applied to a very narrow ideal for women. So, basically, I took thumb face selfies FOR FEMINISM. YOU ARE WELCOME. And then, just for kicks, I uploaded them to how-old.net (be aware that this gives Microsoft the right to use your photos) just to see how old I am. As it turns out, my thumbiest face is that of a 22-year-old man. Because of course.


Follow SOAM:
~TIAW on Tumblr, Pinterest and Facebook.
~SOAM on Twitter and Facebook.
~Participate here on SOAM.

Interesting articles from around the Web:
~I LOVE THIS KID. I think it’s so important to normalize menstruation, but there aren’t too many teenage boys who agree with that. So here’s this kid and he’s just my absolute hero.
~Miss Piggy is going to receive a feminist award! Which. Well. I LOVE Muppets and I LOVE LOVE Miss Piggy so yay! But I have to wonder if this doesn’t distract from the hard work many feminists are doing this year? (I KNOW. I feel like I have to punish myself for even saying that Miss Piggy isn’t a hard-working feminist. BAD MUPPET NERD, BONNIE.) Perhaps they could have double up on the awards this year?

On a much more somber note:
~This is heartbreaking and nauseating. I just don’t even have words for how devastating it is.
~And this isn’t much better.

See something that belongs in the Feminist Fridays? send it to me either at my email address (theshapeofamother@gmail.com) or over on the Facebook page.

Categories: Feminist Fridays

My Body and the Lies (Anonymous)

number of pregnancies and births: 1 (boy)
7 months post partum

I gave birth to a handsome and precious baby boy. He was 7 lbs and 9 oz. Right now he is 7 months old and i now know how it feels to have my heart living outside of my body. Im with him 24/7 and even though im exhausted at the end of the day, i adore every moment. The things im ddevastated about are my body and the fact that now im the typical teen mom you know? I’m 18 now but i had him at 17. I was 16 and pregnant and boy, did i suffer from nausea, vomiting, fainting, fatigue, puppp (a rash), etc. I never thought i’d be the one to get pregnant. At 14 i was in an early college taking college classes and doing high school at the same time. I just knew i was gonna be somebody. My whole family seems to have turned out succesful. There are doctors, engineers, journalists, teachers, etc. When i was barely 14 i met the man that i fell in love with and it might sound crazy and insane, but it happens. We were in a long distance for 2 years and now we are going on 4 years of being together! we have gone through hell because the long distance was so hard to deal with and no one understood that. I feel like people who go through long distance dont get enough credit. we’ve been through great and horrible times. He is a great man and I still get butterflies in my stomach when i hear him coming up the steps after a long day of work. Hes a hard worker, a great daddy and a loving future husband. But i still somehow feel like i am not enough sometimes. I was 100lbs before having our first baby with a flat tummy and overall happy. i never had to watch what i ate. Now evrrything has changed. I feel disgusting when I see my stomach and it is sad because that part of my body is what once held my son. I did an amazing thing in this world and im complaining about my body? I just feel so horribly sad when I feel so insecure and i feel like my boyfriend will eventually get bored of my body and want someone else who’s beautiful. When i was smaller i was in a Vogue magazine and sometimes id love to try to get into modeling, but then i remember how my body looks and id probably get laughed at if i went to an audition. Even though i get told all the time that im beautiful and that i look like a doll, i dont feel attractive. I am generally happy with my face and parts of my body, but then all of a sudden BAM! I get these sudden thoughts about how disgusting i feel and sometimes how fat I look. I have good days and bad days. A lot of the time i try to lie to myself that its not that bad although i know that for me, it is. I had my son in august, so since it was extremely hot, i lost weight super fast after having him. right before i had him i weighed 140 lbs! And now i am 120. But since im short i feel like it just looks like too much. Sometimes i still look pregnant and i still wear a gyrtle. When my boyfriend and I get intimate, i feel like he shouldnt look at me and i just want to hide. I want to look as sexy and beautiful as i can for him but i feel like a huge failure. Im 18 and i already Have a belly full of stretch marks and wrinkles? I feel like maybe he just acts like he loves it because he doesnt want to hurt me. The weird part that my head will not understand and sometimes the frustration makes me cry, is that he is always all over me telling me how good i look and how much he wants me, but i feel like anyone who really saw how i look will say it looks gross. My mom, sister, aunt, and mother in law all made a grossed out face when they saw my tummy after the baby. So how can my boyfriend say it looks good to him and how can he want me like he does? Anyone in their right mind would say it looks bad! When we go out somewhere and a beautiful girl walks by, my heart burns and turns into coal because i just know sometimes he might desire a girl like that. He might compare and thats what scares me. I feel so small when i see someone who looks great and they look confident and i just dont. I dont know what to do. I know working out will help, but i know i wont get a flat tummy unless i get surgery or something because my muscles are so far apart. Im actually content with my legs and stuff so if i work out, i might lose weight everywhere else, get more stretch marks, and at the end still have a hanging stomach. What do i do? I dont know, because there are bigger things to worry about but this knaws at me Every. Single. Day.

Categories: Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, PUPPP Rash, Submissions, Teen Mom
Found this on the wall at my doctor's office. <3

Found this on the wall at my doctor’s office. <3

Posting here at SOAM has been sparse lately for a number of reasons, not to mention the fact that we were hacked awhile back and it's taken a few weeks to get everything back to normal. In the process the site needed a design update which my friend Jen took on because she is amazing – isn’t it gorgeous now? I have some things planned coming up to celebrate Mother’s Day and the beautiful bodies that come with it so keep your eyes open for that, mamas.

~TIAW on Tumblr, Pinterest and Facebook.
~SOAM on Twitter and Facebook.
~Participate here on SOAM.

Around the Web:
~People who do not know how the female body works should cease to speak about the female body. Here’s a refresher course on what IUD’s actually are.
~A list of typical “well-meaning” statements aimed at overweight people and what they essentially translate to.
~I am here to ruin your life with the idea that Lloyd Dobbler was behaving totally inappropriately. I KNOW. My heart is also broken.
~Modcloth’s first trans model. LOVE.
~Rebel Wilson is amazing.
~And so is Pink.
~Looking for some ideas for painting your pregnant belly? Check these out!

See something that belongs in the Feminist Fridays? send it to me either at my email address (theshapeofamother@gmail.com) or over on the Facebook page.

Categories: Feminist Fridays, News