First I need to excuse my bad english, which is not my mother language. I am a 34 years old german mother of two wonderful children. The first, my daughter, was a c-section, my son was born vaginally. My daughter ist 3.5, my son 1.3 years old.
I love this website, it gives me so much reading the posts of moms who feel the same way than me. For a very long time I hadn’t had the heard to post here because I know objectively seen I don’t look that bad. I was lucky getting no strechmarks and having an almost flat belly. I got varices in my second pregnancy. It needed to be operate on and my disorders are gone. But my legs still don’t look fine, and never will.
But, however, I am struggeling with how my breast looks like. My breast never was very big, but beautiful. They had a nice shape and were perky. Now they‘re tiny, saggy and flat! Unfortunatly I have no picture from my non-mommy breasts. I always wore a 34B before heaving children. Now I had a brafitting and know this had never been my true size (I wear a 30D now!). So you may have an idea of my “old breast size”. During pregnancy and breastfeeding time my breast was huge (for me), (fitted) 30F in my second pregnancy! During my first pregnancy it was even bigger and I wore absolutely crazy sizes that hadn’t fit.
I find that my “new“ post-partum breast doesn’t fit to the rest of my body. I am slim but I always had kind of a “latino bottom“ and “strong legs“. I was not happy about this in the past, but it’s ok. This is me, I ever looked like this. But I feel like this breast is not mine! As if it have lost its sexual attractivity. I feel so unwomenly! This breast could look fine when I was a skinny, petite type. My breasts alway were a part of my body that I liked and sometimes even loved. I had been happier if they would have been one size bigger, but most time I was ok with them. My legs and sometimes my bottom had been my biggest body issues over the years. Now I don’t matter about them and hate my breast. I really don’t know I can learn to love or like them again.
Like most women‘s husband here my husband loves my body and breast. He just dosen’t love my self-insecurity and is tired to hear. That is a problem because he is my very best friend and now I dare to speak with him about my feelings for my body afraid of he could be turned off. I’m not sure if this is the right english formulation for what I want to say, so I hope you can understand what I mean. I have no one to talk with about my worries neither none of my friends beeing afraid I could hurt someones emotions when I speek bad about my body knowing or wondering if she is struggeling more with her body than me.
I breastfed both children for 10 months. I stopped brestfeeding my son 5 months ago. My breast has already got a little better since then. I hope and pray that it will regain volume in one or two years. I need to admitt that I’m jealous of most women here, they all sem to have more breast than me.
My name is Courtney Bray, I am 20 years old and live in Washington State with my husband and two beautiful girls.
I am a mother of 2.
In my first pregnancy I gained 55 lbs. Stretch marks spread almost all the way up to my breasts. My skin hung and my belly button did as well.
I cried. I cried over and over. I contemplated what I thought was “reconstructive” surgery. I thought my husband wasn’t attracted to me. Every time we passed a skinny attractive woman on the street my heart burned in envy. I dreaded the arrival of summer.
Then I finally lost the weight. I changed my diet entirely and became very passionate about organic food and the fight against Monsanto, the FDA, and USDA. However, despite new passions and a slim body, I hated my stomach. I still cried. Selfishly. Ignoring the immense reward that became of it; my sweet baby.
My second pregnancy came along. This time I felt determined to not gain that crazy amount of weight again. This time, I only gained 35 lbs. I worked out, didn’t limit myself physically, and ate clean. I felt more amazing than I had ever felt in my life. This time I loved being pregnant. I glowed. I didn’t want it to stop.
When I delivered my stomach was flat again after 1 month with the help of wrapping my postpartum tummy. I still have mild diastasis recti though.
This time I cried for a different reason. Staring in the mirror at my stretch marks, I cried. I cried because I loved them. I brushed my fingers over them, pulled at my loose skin a little and smiled. Tears running down my face. I kept on crying, because I finally realized that I love this body so much more than the body I had 3 years ago. This body was the look of true beauty, of work and reward, of suffering and love.
My body is perfectly “ruined”.
Second pregnancy, one m/c at 16 weeks, one birth by cesarean 17 days ago, age 27, yes to media use, please post from anonymous and do not include email address.
Today I am 17 days post c section and feeling good physically. I have the sweetest, most adorable baby and couldn’t be happier as a new mom!
After having a miscarriage years ago, I wondered if I would have a child and now, sitting here next to my little precision miracle just listening to him breathe, I realize how truly blessed I am. He is a gorgeous reminder of the blessings I have been allowed in this life.
After becoming very ill, I was forced to sustain an induced labor that resulted in failure to progress due to having a small pelvis. I endured 30+ hours of labor and then was ordered to have an emergency c section. The c section news was, at the time, scary but I trusted what was happening and only wanted my little baby to be safely delivered. So, all plans dissolved and a new plan took over. I delivered via c section and life began.
It’s been crazy since he birth of my baby with trying to recover from my own personal illness plus the surgery but I feel better. The first week was awful but I forced myself forward. In fact, I was up visiting my baby in the nicu just two hours after my delivery. The days were hard and getting up was harder but I made it.
Today, I am trying to decide if my scar is healing okay. I had my staples out ten days post op and today is the 17th day since the c section. Pre pregnancy I weighed between 110-114 and on the day of delivery I was at 142. The day my staples were removed, I had lost down to 123 and today, I am at 119. My tummy has gone down but the incision has me bummed. I have always had a flat belly and now, there is a swollen like area just above the scar that makes me just cringe. I feel guilty for concerning myself with it but still cannot help it. Will this pudge above the scar ever go away?? Or do I accept this shelf like area?
Here are the current pics…