~Number of pregnancies and births: 1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 1 year
My whole life I have been thin. I’m 5’5 and I was always around 110 pounds. During my pregnancy I did my best to eat healthy, however I ate a lot and ended up gaining 60 pounds. I never thought stretch marks or loose skin would be a problem as my mother has my shape and she bounces right back after my brother and I with not one mark on her. She was in a bikini a month later. Even at 60 her stomach looks great!
I rubbed lotions on all of the time. I couldn’t work out because I had really bad sciatica, and now that I look back I probably didn’t drink enough water. I didn’t have one stretch mark until the day BEFORE my darling daughter was born. They just came out like wildfire. ALL over my stomach. The first few months after she was born, my stomach was just so bad. Dark purple stretch marks, sagging skin, and wrinkles all over my stomach. I have managed to get my stretch marks down a lot, and I am back to 118 pounds, (which I am proud of) but my stomach is ruined. I feel like it will never be flat and smooth again. I have this little pooch that always sticks out. If I bend over gets REALLY wrinkly and just hangs. It is so depressing. My boyfriend even said it is bad. I don’t have any breasts really so I always figured my stomach sort of made up for it. I would love a second child, I am just SO terrified my body will get even worse. I feel so bad about myself.
3 months postpartum
6 months postpartum (side)
10 months postpartum (laying on side, wrinkles)
12 months (straight view)
12 months (side)
12 months (plank) :(((
Recently I’ve been feeling more and more self conscious about my breasts. I’ve tried hard to feel better about myself after large weight gains with my 2 pregnancies (4stone+) during each pregnancy. I lost it all after my second and went down to a size I was happy with. It’s slowly creeping back on. Weight is something I can control just about… what I can’t control is the feeling of disgust when I look at my breasts in the mirror. I don’t even fit into bras properly- i’m guessing i’m a 34AA… they’re horrible, saggy, flat, just plain disgusting. I wear push up bras but feel even worse when my husband tries to grab a feel … as all he gets is padding. I feel like I’ve let him down.
It’s demoralising, I feel like a fake woman, so unsexy and gross. I’ve seen him stare sometimes at other women, for only a few seconds, nothing major to most people but to me, it’s a reminder of what I can’t give him, what I want to give him – bigger breasts and being able to feel sexy and something he can be proud about when I’m with him (of course I know boobs aren’t everything but it feels like it sometimes). I just can’t shake it, it’s been almost 6 years, of constantly feeling jealous of other women, no matter how big their breasts are… mine are nothing in comparison. I have massive gaping holes between them, I have to constantly wear tops that don’t show cleavage as mine is a gaping hole, only supported by giant padded bras… when I take the bra off I’m flat and horrid. Even during sex etc, I feel like when he touches my chest- it’s so disappointing because there’s nothing there anymore. I would love to win the lottery and get surgery – I’ve even mentioned it to my husband- he doesn’t know how to respond- knowing he’s treading on egg shells as to how I would react whether he agreed or disagreed. I can’t mention the topic to him anymore because he denies looking at anyone else, he says it’s all in my head, that he doesn’t know what else he can do. I’m sure to some extent he’s right, but in other ways, I’m not hallucinating when I see him eyeing someone, even if by accident or however brief it may be.
I feel he’ll jump ship when he comes across someone who is happier with themselves, happy with life and with their body … I can’t seem to give him that. Since kids, I’m stressed, depressed, tired, snappy, jealous and feel worthless. I can’t see how my family love me for who I am as I don’t feel like i’m very nice to be around or look at. I’m tempted to go to the GP but I know they’ll only try and prescribe anti depressants which I’m not keen on doing- they won’t bring me new breasts. I was never large to start off with- an average 34 B and have always felt inadequate. I went to a massive 36E during pregnancy because I had put a lot of weight on. I’m 5″3 and at my heaviest when pregnant was 15 stone. (with baby inside!). I’m now 9stone 2 and ideally want to go back to 8st 7lbs which is what I weighed this time last year- but that’s a different story- it won’t help my lack of breast tissue. Any miracle cures to increasing breast size or just feeling better? I feel sick every time we are around other women, even family, thinking how much bigger they are in the chest area – how more attractive they are. I feel sick like I’m so disgusting without any breasts and so unsexy- I hate it. I’m even nervous about my husband going to work and meeting someone there because they’d have more to offer than me. That’s just breasts… stomach is another issue but I can cope with that much better, even if my belly button looks wrinkly and horrible- I can conceal that ok. Any advice greatly appreciated.
~Number of pregnancies and births: 2
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 6 and 3
3 pregnancies + 2 births
I have a 21 month old + a 2 month old both born by cesarean.
Ever since I can remember, my only want.. goal, passion.. What have you, was to be a mother. So naturally when I got pregnant with my daughter, I was over the moon. My pregnancy wasn’t so easy, and neither was my cesarean. Given all my issues, I healed up nicely and somewhat quickly. Not too long after did I find out that I was in fact pregnant again. This both pregnancy and cesarean was much easier. I had my beautiful baby boy, 2 months ago .. Almost to the day. I healed way better and way faster this time, which was a huge relief.
Now. I’m left with the aftermath of having two kids 19 months apart from one another. My body is what I like to call it, ” tore up from the floor up”. My belly still hasn’t gone down completely to where I still look pregnant and have had people ask me when I am due. Not only hasn’t my stomach gone down but I have terrible loose skin with stretch marks covering my belly. If I lean over, the loose skin will just bunch together and just hang. When I wear a pair of pants , you can see the bulging of the skin/fat below my underwear line. A pouch, if you will. My boobs, have definitely reduced in size and have become saggy, for sure. As it pains me to admit this and share with the world.. I even wear multiple bras, including stuffing them as well. It’s just horrible, makes me sick to my stomach. Everybody keeps reminding me that I just had a baby or that I’ve had two kids.. But it doesn’t make me feel any different. I see so many women who have bounced back so quickly to not even half of what I have goin on. I express my disgust and self consciousness with my LONG (10years) time boyfriend and he just repeats the same statements. I’ve caught him glaring at my belly a bunch of times but he would never tell me that I’m gross or right to feel the way I do. We have had sex and I hate having to take my clothes off. I won’t take anything from the waste up, off. Even when we are having sex all I’m thinking is how to hide my problem areas and that he couldn’t possibly be turned on by me. I find myself feeling bad for him that he doesn’t have the girlfriend with the nice body anymore. In my head, he only has sex with me because I’m there and it’s only a matter of time until he goes somewhere else for a better looking chick. Nobody is understanding how I’m feeling and I don’t know what to do. I even changed out of a summer dress that was fitting when it was 90 degrees outside because I noticed my stomach bulging and had caught him looking right at my stomach. I feel so far from attractive and so alone. I go online and I research plastic surgery all the time and fantasize about fixing all my problem areas, so I can feel pretty again. I do feel bad complaining about how I look ,like I’m some vain school girl.. I know a lot of other people have much bigger problems but I absolutely hate feeling this way. The only part that makes me feel somewhat better is that I know I have two gorgeous children to show for it. I just wish there was a pill or some magic rain dance I could do to fix this.
Thank You so much for reading!