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Again (Anonymous)

4Th pregnancy here.
This time around I have experience and a 5 year gap. A new husband and career which means … Things are different.

10yr, 7yr and 5yr old have taught me alot. Seems I am suppose to know exactly what to do. Only now instead of homeschooling stay at home mom, I am a business owner entrepreneur starting all over. Why? Lol man goes to school full time in a few months and I am free. Something fantasized about for years. Freedom! Turns out there is this one thing I am good at and appreciated for called Mothering.

My partner does not have children and this has been a topic from the beginning. Bringing family together, moving on, committing, whatever the overlying reason to make it okay the truth is. Ahhh, I secretly miss being pregnant and having my arms full and nap times and the sensitivity level I acquire through the whole busy process. Purpose? More satisfying than Making globs of money.

Seems now it is happening and I am hunkering down wishing I would have gotten back to my pre baby body after this last one and not lost in divorce. Wishing I would have written down little bits that I learned. Setting my standards higher than before because well I am experienced right. Gotta jazzercise untill at least 5 months, even though in the last 5 years I have broken 9 bones. Gotta eat well and not gain to much this time cause 50 lbs is hard to lose. Must keep my clients and continue to expand and the list piles up.

In the mean time I am sleeping at noon in a messy house craving carbs untill my kids come back from their fathers at 5 thinking …. I am giving up my kid-free time and my time freedom in the day again adding more to my to do list… And it never felt more right.

6 weeks today with the 4th baby.
Feeling glad I am not the only one.
Just snapped some photos because this is happening and I love this body.

Categories: 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Four or More Pregnancies, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions
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Mommy Love (Emily)

Hello my name is Emily, I am 25 years old, and this is my 3 month old son Ethan Jai. Before my pregnancy I was 104. During I was 167. And now I am 130. I love my mommy marks because I wouldn’t have my baby boy without them

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Categories: Belly, Breastfeeding, First Pregnancy, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Submissions
1 comment

Just checking in

Hello to you, my readers. I apologize for the lack of attention that I have been able to give to SOAM for a very long time now. In truth, it sits like a brick in my stomach and I try to avoid noticing because, frankly, there is nothing I can do about it right now.

For the past year and a half my daughter, who is about to turn sixteen, has been battling depression, extreme anxiety, and suicidal ideation. (Yes, I have her permission to share this publicly.) It has been a full time job just to keep her alive, in particular because the system is so, so very broken. I wrote here about our struggles simply to find appropriate care for her. (Please, if you can, share that link. I want people to know exactly what is going on.) Even after I wrote that, the systemic negligence has continued. It frustrates me beyond belief to know that the stigma is built directly into the system (for what other illness would you be told that your child can only receive thirteen treatments?). It frustrates me that even just talking about it makes me worry who will believe the severity of the struggle my family is facing? As it turns out, the brain is also a part of the body, so a mental illness is just as much a physical illness as diabetes, or asthma, or cancers.

Anyway, I digress. The point is that right now I am trying to help heal my teenager, fight the system, somehow still parent my other child, continue my education, and do all the other things that one must do simply as a part of life. I struggle to find time for SOAM right now.

This website is my passion and my soul. I have one more semester after this and I plan to put a crap ton more energy to growing SOAM and moving forward into new areas with it, as well as working to advocate for and education on body image issues, and other feminist work that needs to be done in the world.

I am absolutely NOT leaving SOAM or closing it. I will continue to post entries that are shared, although I admit I may not get to it as regularly as I would like to – I apologize. Please, don’t hesitate to share your story here, just be patient with me. I’m sure you all understand that our children come first.

I’m still here, as much as I can be. But SOAM simply has to be lower on my priority list right now because this girl is #1:

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Categories: My Own Ramblings, News
5 comments