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Around the Web:
~An important post about health and size from the fat acceptance movement’s point of view.
~Great post on what not to wear after age 50. Frankly, I’d like to apply this to all women who have an age – every age.
~Eight things some asshole will bring up in every fight about sexism. But you know what else? This is also a really, really good list of ways any manipulator will try to trick you into believing them or at the very least, shutting the fuck up. Check out this old post on gaslighting over at TIAW for more on that. It’s important to women, it’s important to humanity.
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Children aged 2 & 4
I met my husband at 19, yes I was young but the way I see it is that way I get to spend even more of my life with him, I’m lucky. I fell pregnant within 5 months of being together and we were extremely happy.
My first pregnancy: I had plenty of problems during first pregnancy, lots of heavy bleeding and then found out when I was a week overdue that our daughter was breech. Luckily when I went into labour the drs rushed me in for an emergency c-section and she was born, a healthy 9lb baby!
The complications continued and when my scar didn’t heal properly I ended up with a hole in my tummy for over 11 weeks after the Birth. Now considering I had put on a mighty 4 stone during pregnancy this didn’t help as I couldn’t exercise to shift the weight. I ate poorly and I believe this is where my issues with my body really began.
I know I’m not alone when I say that looking at your body after having a baby is just horrific at first. I have stretch marks on nearly every part of my body. Excess skin on my tummy which I now live with everyday. And I’m not saying I would change it because obviously my children are the most important thing in my life. However it’s a daily battle looking in the mirror.
Going back to my pregnancies. After 18 months I fell pregnant again accidentally and it terrified me that my body would change yet again!
I managed to keep my weight gain down to 2 and a half stone this time and kept active and ate healthy.
All went well and I had another beautiful little girl, by emergency c section again.
This was when I really stepped it up a gear. Exercising so much that I had no energy. Hardly eating so that my weight plummeted.
I wasn’t happy with how my body now looked and nothing was helping. Exercise and lack of eating was making me even more miserable but when everyone says ‘wow you have lost all your baby weight so fast’ it was like a massive compliment every time and it spurred me on.
I was about 10lbs underweight and looked awful. I can say that now because I can see it but at the time I just fixated on getting my pre baby body back. I know now this is just impossible.
In the last 6 months I’ve tried to eat more and although I still exercise a lot I am aiming to be strong for my children. Both mentally and physically.
Everyday we are surrounded by images, slogans, articles, celebrities promoting ‘skinnyness’ and it’s just so damaging.
It was damaging for me and I just don’t want my daughters growing up thinking there is only one way to be beautiful and it’s by being skinny.
I still struggle everyday as I’m sure every mum does. I now try and look in the mirror and focus on something I like. It’s hard. And not everyday it works. But I do it.
I know I won’t be alone. I just hope that one day I will find a comfortability in my post baby body.
1 child, 5 months PP
I am 23 and gave birth to my gorgeous baby girl 5 months ago. I love her more than life itself but have struggled with the effect on my body- softer stomach and saggier boobs I was lucky to only get very small stretchmarks underneath my belly button and they are now barely noticeable. My baby girls delivery was natural and the pregnancy was fine although I developed antenatal depression in my 3rd trimester and spent most of the pregnancy worrying excessively about my babies health. I didnt really gain much weight during the pregnancy, I went up a dress size and seemed to retain alot of water, the excess weight seemed to drop off post birth however I feel my posture is utterly horrendous from looking after a baby and carrying one for 9 months and despite recovering well body wise my self image is in tatters, I feel fat and ugly all the time even when done up (this never occured before) and my face has been ravaged by sleep deprivation- I have that ‘mumsy’ look now that tbh I always hated. My boobs seem to have shrunk even though I only breastfed for a few weeks. I feel guilty even feeling bad about myself post birth as many women have it a lot worse than me.. It doesnt help that sometimes my vagina feels ‘numb’ during sex aswell! Nightmare. I enjoy dancing and exercise and am hoping to incorporate it more in order to feel like ‘me’ again and maybe tone up a bit, I am just always so tired and busy these days! I am in a bit of a rush here anyway but just thought I’d post my story. Hugs to everyone going through similar feelings
1. me when I had the time and energy to put make up on- and a good nights sleep! age 21
2. me age 22 26 weeks pregnant with my baby
3. me pre baby age 21
4. 5 months post partum- wouldnt even show my knackered face now!