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Will I ever love this skin? (Anonymous)

I’m a 31 year old mother of one beautiful tween girl whose now 11. I really miss the baby days. :( I had her at 20 and I had gained 85 pounds. I have stretch marks in every conceivable place a woman can have them. I have them on my flanks, my buttocks, my hips, my belly, my breasts, my underarms, the back of my knees, my thighs (inner and outer), near my groin area, and I even have faint ones on the outside of my upper arms. It’s been a constant struggle over the years to live in this body and be happy with it.

I’ve bought into the idea that women aren’t supposed to get older and lose their shape and for years I’ve been my own worst enemy. And having a couple of jerks for boyfriends in the past didn’t help matters much either. I haven’t gotten over it yet and I’m not sure I ever will. Maybe when I’m really old, feeble and gray, it won’t matter anymore. Some days I hate myself, and others, I have incredible self-esteem. I no longer want to diet, or obsess about exercise, but at the same time, I don’t want to let myself go either. I want to find a happy medium if it exists. But I am blessed and thankful I have a wonderful husband of 9 years and a terrific daughter who thinks I’m beautiful no matter what.

Reading your stories and seeing your pictures really inspires me. Although it makes me cry, it has compelled me to show myself to you so that maybe I might find some peace in this inner silent but screaming turmoil. Maybe together we can feel strong and empowered and proud of who we are and by the long journeys we’ve traveled to arrive here. Thank you so much.

in 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Butt, First Pregnancy, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions

17 comments… add one

  • Ashley Wednesday, January 27, 2010, 11:17 am

    I don’t usually post on here, but I wanted to tell you that I am 26 weeks pregnant with twin boys and I am scared to death of what my body will look like after they are born. I see some women who just snap back to normal after their babies and I am so jealous, because I know that will not be me–I am super prone to stretch marks. But, seeing your photos actually gave me hope that not all stretch marks look that bad, yours certainly don’t. You look very fit and slender. I just thought you should know that you give me a little hope for myself. You really do look great.

  • Will Wednesday, January 27, 2010, 12:21 pm

    You look fabulous! You should forget the ex-boyfriends and listen to your husband. You truly are beautiful.

  • kat Wednesday, January 27, 2010, 12:47 pm

    You look awesome!! I understand it’s hard to accept stretch marks ( have them everywhere too) but on toned flesh like yours, they are sexy! I hope you find self acceptance and a happy medium.

  • Anna Wednesday, January 27, 2010, 5:47 pm

    You’re gorgeous, I can totally relate. I gained 50 pound with my first pregnancy from 110 pounds and I’m covered with marks. Yours is the the first body on here I can really identify with. Bathing suits will always suck but I’m happy enough dressed.

  • Mary Wednesday, January 27, 2010, 8:07 pm

    You are so beautiful! I had my daughter at 20 and gained 80lbs. Im 23 now with a second, and I hope to look like you some day! I dont see any flaws, AMAZING!

  • Sarah Wednesday, January 27, 2010, 10:56 pm

    I agree with the first poster. Your stretchmarks don’t look bad at all! You have a gorgeous sexy figure! You’re so blessed!

  • Laura Thursday, January 28, 2010, 9:26 am

    Like everyone else has said, you look gorgeous. I understand your feeling of wanting to find a happy medium all too well, I’ve been searching for that for a long time myself. Like you, I don’t want to let myself go but I’m tired of watching every morsel I eat and working out like a fiend. It’s just no way to live! I think we should all be healthy, and I don’t just mean by eating well and exercising but by enjoying life because there’s more to health than a our physical bodies. In any case, you look fabulous and you should celebrate it!!

  • Jenn Friday, January 29, 2010, 5:56 am

    You look great and I honestly think your stretchmarks are beautiful! I think of mine as the testimony of what I brought into the world and actually would be sad if they all disappeared.

  • Tape Friday, January 29, 2010, 11:32 am

    Hey you look great.Anyone can get stretch marks.Im a guy and I have some at the inside of my arm,where it meets my shoulder.Take the negative that people say and dump it with the trash.People who truly feel beautiful….are.You have a very nice body,don’t let anyone tell you different.

  • mari Saturday, January 30, 2010, 4:44 pm

    you sound just like me. I am the same size as you and it’s been hard to muster up the desire to get really toned with all the marks i have. I have them on my calf, groin, buttocks, tops/sides and back of thighs and on my lower stomach. When they were first red, i panicked. They have faded since i had my daughter. But i spent exhaustive hours looking on how to get them almost non-existent. I am using msm lotion and msm powder every day and within the first 3 months, my marks have not only faded dramatically, they are filling in a bit with collagen! it’s amazing stuff you should check out. it’s a natural sulfur which is found in the makeup of our bodies and it literally helps regenerate collagen. you look amazing! you really do. your body is so graceful, petite and womanly. i hope you feel more confident as time goes on because you deserve to

  • Nina Sunday, January 31, 2010, 9:03 pm

    you’re so blessed. i hope you realize this.

  • komiya Sunday, January 31, 2010, 11:21 pm

    Im absolutely jealous of u rite now!! lol.

  • Angela Wednesday, February 3, 2010, 1:26 pm

    Ummm… I don’t thing you are seeing what the rest of us see when we look at you… Flawless, stretch marks and all!

  • AnnaLaura Saturday, February 6, 2010, 10:51 pm

    I will be honest with you: I hope I look like you at 31 years old after having children. You look fantastic!

  • anonymous Sunday, February 14, 2010, 12:19 am

    are you kiddin me? u look awesome i wish i looked like that

  • Colleen Thursday, January 13, 2011, 3:06 pm

    God I hope I look like this in a few years.

  • MtnHarmony Sunday, February 13, 2011, 4:38 pm

    i can see the areas you want to be perfect but you look beautiful. it is easy to critic our own bodies and flaws. everyone wants something they don’t have whether it be blue eyes, more money or a better body. I think the goal in this life is to be happy with what we have been blessed with. you have been blessed by alot. to me it doesn’t make sense that our minds grow and change as we age. We grow emotionally and spiritually yet we expect our bodies to stay the same? That makes no sense when you really think about it.

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