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Will I Ever Be Sexy Again? (Anonymous)

June 21, 2012

Age: 23
Number Of Births: 1

I married the love of my life in May of 2011, and we conceived our baby boy on our honeymoon. At that time I weighed 145 lbs at 5′ 4″. I’d never been a skinny girl, but pretty athletic and active. Over the nine months I carried my baby, I gained 40 pounds. 20 more than I’d hoped for. I had beautiful skin and not a single stretch mark… Until I hit my 35th week. Then they spread like wildfire. I was devastated. I did everything I possibly could to prevent them, cocoa butter, massage, body brushing.. but in the end they took over. I had planned for a home water birth, but after 36 hours of labor, and being stuck at 6 cm dilated for 12 hours, I had to go to the hospital. Got an epidural, then 4 hours later with no progress, led to a c-section. Everything went as well as major abdominal surgury could go.. I recovered well and my boy latched on and breastfed wonderfully. My precious baby is the best thing, by far, that has ever happened to me. But the body that I was left with has been really hard for me to deal with.

My stomach, love handles, thighs, and around my breasts were covered in stretch marks, and I felt saggy, floppy, and unattractive. I’ve cried to my husband many times saying how afraid I am that I’ll never be sexy again. Of course he reassures me that he thinks I’m the most beautiful woman ever, but it’s hard to believe that when I see my reflection in the mirror. I hear everyone say stretch marks are a badge of mother-honor.. but that’s no comfort to me. I want my pretty, flawless skin back, and I know it’ll most likely never happen. My breasts have grown 3 cup sizes and with breastfeeding they’re extremely heavy. They feel like they’re sagging like crazy and that makes it hard to be topless during intimate moments with my husband. My legs and butt used to be very tight and toned, but now when I run they jiggle like jello. I know that if I stick with exercising, the jiggle can be fixed, but I’m so afraid that my mid-section and breasts are a lost cause.

I’m not exactly sure why I’m telling everyone my sob story, but I felt like I could relate to alot of women on this site. I realize that almost every mom has issues with her post-baby body, and I’m no exception. Still, I thought this would be good for me to share my experience and show that difference of what I had, and what I have now. My precious baby boy is the best thing in my life and he’s worth every sacrifice and hardship that I’ve gone through . But I just hope someday I can get my body somewhat back so he can have a pretty, fit, and healthy looking mommy that he’s proud of. I want to be a good example to my babies.

Picture #1: Summer before marriage, weight 145
Picture #2: Belly 5 weeks before birth, right before stretch marks plagued me
Picture #3: 11 weeks after birth
Picture #4: 11 weeks after birth (side)
Picture #5: Stretch Mark Areas

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19 Responses to “Will I Ever Be Sexy Again? (Anonymous)”

  1. Miffy Says:
    June 21st, 2012 at 8:17 am

    Hon, you are only 11 weeks pp! You look great and those marks will fade. I truly believe that your husband finds you sexy!

  2. sarabelle Says:
    June 21st, 2012 at 11:44 am

    Wow. U look great. Ur stretch marks will fade with time. And to help them with the fading process use the special oil or creams they have out there. Ur breasts are beautiful. U will become more and more like ur old body. And u can also help that along with excersise and eatin
    G right.. u will always be beautiful no matter what.

  3. Mom of 4 including twins Says:
    June 21st, 2012 at 12:42 pm

    I think you look great and I’ll bet your husband loves your breasts! You look very voluptuous and give it a little time, it’s still so early….your stretchmarks are relatively mild and should fade. In my experience of breastfeeding 4 babies (2 of which are twins, right now), my body tends to want to be plumper while being the “watering hole” : D And that means in my arms, my tummy, my thighs as well as breasts. You are beautiful now, but your body will do a lot of changing still.

  4. brooke Says:
    June 21st, 2012 at 2:28 pm

    You look a lot like me after I gave birth. i’m 24, married, have 1 baby girl, whose now 10 months old and my body looks just like yours does. YOUR BEAUTIFUL. :)

  5. amber H Says:
    June 21st, 2012 at 4:11 pm

    your only 11 mm pp – give it some more time, you look great and those stretch marks will fade,

    blessed and tortured.

  6. Jenn K Says:
    June 21st, 2012 at 6:00 pm

    I think you look great and your husband is right :)

  7. Sarah P. Says:
    June 21st, 2012 at 7:05 pm

    I’m 7 months postpartum and my stretch marks are already white/silvery. They do fade! Weight will also fall off as time goes by. Your breasts will also shrink a bit with time. What you see now is not forever. Trust me! I’ve had 2 babies, both breastfed. Time is a great healer. You look beautiful, by the way. Don’t be so hard on yourself at just 3 months pp. :) That’s just a drop in the bucket.

  8. Dani Says:
    June 22nd, 2012 at 7:26 am

    You look great and your tummy is pretty flat and it is still early. It is 10 months since I gave birth to my daughter and my tummy is not nearly as flat!

  9. Mya Maternity Says:
    June 22nd, 2012 at 7:36 am

    You look amazing for only being 11 weeks pp!!! It takes some time after giving birth for most women to even look half that good. You have done great. The stretch marks will lighten up with time. You look amazing and shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. Your body took 9 months to change so don’t expect it to change back right away in 3 months. Work hard and give it time. Congrats on your little boy. I have two boys myself and they are so much fun!!

  10. Jeff Says:
    June 22nd, 2012 at 8:52 am

    Will you ever be sexy again? You are sexy now! You have beautiful breasts, and looking at the side shot of you, you are still height/weight proportionate!

    Ladies, take heart. Men love real women. Real women aren’t plastic Barbie dolls and strippers, they are beautiful, natural, and unbelievably sexy … just by being who they are!

  11. KMG Says:
    June 22nd, 2012 at 5:02 pm

    I don’t know if “Will I Ever Be Sexy Again?” is the right question but maybe “Will I Ever FEEL Sexy Again?” because EVERY woman is sexy. We just struggle with feeling sexy at certain times in our lives, BUT you are what you feel, you know? I’m 21 mo. PP, and I think I’m getting my sexy back. It’s gradual. I have all of the stretchmarks, the tummy roll, the saggy breasts (my own story is a few below yours). I have good days and bad ones, too, but I really am on the road to acceptance. It helps to have a husband telling me I’m beautiful, like yours, but even in my own mind, I see the beauty of being a mother and the sensuality of being a woman. For me, those two things are starting to outshine the scars of carrying a child. You got it right with being a healty example for your children. Once you feel healthy, feeling sexy will immediately follow. I have to believe that because I see glimpses of it now : )

  12. justanothermom Says:
    June 27th, 2012 at 5:04 pm

    First of all, you *are* sexy. Look at those curves. Look at how womanly your shape is. Look how full your breasts are. They’re not saggy, they’re large and filled with milk for your baby, and that is such a good thing. I was not able to feed my baby, I could not make milk, and felt like failure. Embrace the gift of large full breasts. They will shrink down, after weaning. Any amount of excess weight, will also melt off naturally, with time if you eat right, and get exercise.

    Right now you are 11 weeks post partum. It took 40 weeks, for your body to change to how it is. Give it at a minimum 40 to change back. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself, no one expects a new mom to look like a super model, or their pre baby self, so soon. Every woman who has ever given birth knows this. Any involved father knows this. Don’t let society tell you what is beautiful and sexy, don’t feel bad for not looking like a barbie or having the metabolisim of a humming bird. Just focus on being healthy and happy, and it will come back to you naturally.

  13. JMS Says:
    June 28th, 2012 at 6:23 am

    You look great for just having a baby! It’s been almost nine years since my last child was born and my belly is stretched and saggy and my belly button is ruined. I wish there was a way to fix it without a tummy tuck. I would love for my belly to look like yours! :)

  14. Tessa Says:
    July 5th, 2012 at 9:42 am

    You look GREAT for only 11wks! It took 3 months of HARD working out to get back to a state taht didnt’ even look this good! (I was a teeny, tiny, flat, toned stomach before kids!) My baby is now nearly 3 months old.. and I’m just in a very sad looking state. Still look 6 months pregnant because my muscles are so stretched out (10lb 11oz baby). Once baby is older and you have more time for working out and toning, you have potential to look absolutely amazing again! Not every woman is so lucky.

  15. CS Says:
    July 25th, 2012 at 10:15 pm

    I am in the exact same boat.. emergency c-section and everything! I had planned to work out 6 weeks after baby, but of course couldn’t because of the stupid c-section. I’ve been working out everyday for about 2 weeks and feel SO much better! My husband keeps telling me it takes time,but I’m so impatient. I want to fit into my jeans again!! I am also woried about sagging skin… I can’t tell if what I have is fat or extra skin. Just know you aren’t the only one and I think you look great!!!!

  16. Amy Says:
    July 25th, 2012 at 10:31 pm

    I am 25 and one week pp after my first baby. I went thru 16 hours of unmedicated labor and ended up with a c-section for what we had no idea was a 10.2 pd baby girl!
    Now I am only 5’1 and started out at 135pds and was 168 at 42 weeks, but we are very similar in size and I didn’t get stretch marks until the very end, but when I did they came in with force… You are giving me so much hope that I will recover from my c-section and be sexy again one day. You are gorgeous and I can’t wait to look like you do!! Thank you for giving me hope, and I hope you make it to your goals ;) but you already look great !

  17. Hannah Says:
    July 31st, 2012 at 5:44 pm

    We are belly twins! My stomach looked just like that after having my son! They faded to the point where you can hardly see them and the extra skin will tighten back up if you stay hydrated and lather up with lotion! I just wish my boobs looked like yours! Mine just look deflated. You’ll learn to love the changes.

  18. Mary Says:
    November 14th, 2012 at 1:15 am

    You are absolutely stunning. I wish you could see this.

  19. Sarah Says:
    July 4th, 2014 at 6:23 am

    I’d kill for your boobs. Beautiful. Simply stunning.

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