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Why Me? (Rachel)

August 4, 2011

Age~18 (17 when pregnant)
Number of pregnancies/births~1
Age of children/PP~8 weeks

I was 17 and had just started my senior year when I first found out I was pregnant. As you would have guessed I was very scared and cried lots over the subject. Loads of thoughts soared through my head, but instantly I knew I wanted to keep my baby. I was pressured by my family to stay in school and on top of my game. In the end I am very thankful because I graduated with straight A’s even though I was pregnant my ENTIRE senior year. My boyfriend and I had a kind of rocky relationship at first, maybe because we were together only 4 months before I got preggo but now we have been together a year and 4 months and still going strong. :) I don’t know what I would do without his help and support. Anyways, I had a generally happy and healthy pregnancy. I wasn’t (too) moody and not very sick either. The only problems were my back pain, swelling and I gained almost 50 pounds. Well and the feeling self conscious of being pregnant in High School, even though everyone told me I was the cutest pregnant person ever. When I went into my first sonogram we were both hoping for a boy. But we ended up with a baby girl instead. You get what you get, right? At 39 weeks I was induced so I could make it safely to graduation four days later. Checking into the hospital I was terrified…so many things could go wrong or I was definitely coming home with a baby girl. They had to ripen my cervix, since I was only 1 1/2 cm, before they hooked me up to pitocin. So they stuck the pill inside and about an hour later I was feeling mild contractions. Although I didn’t know they were mild, so I thought that was the limited amount of pain I would feel. I was like, “I can handle this, no problem!” Boy, was I completely wrong…after they started the pitocin my contractions were horrible. I cried, and cried. Especially when they broke my water. Luckily, I could recieve the epidural shortly after that and slept for about 3 more hours before I had to push. 30 minutes of pushing and a horrid episiotomy later I gave birth vaginally to a beautiful, healthy baby girl. So overall, I was lucky with my pregnancy, and my delivery with the minor exception of my cut. When I was moved to my room I was forced to go pee, which was the most painful experience of my life. Standing up and walking sucked too. But what was worse was looking into the mirror the first time and noticing my stomach was still big, and I had purple lines almost everywhere. I broke down and thought, “why me? why did this happen to me? It has to be my fault because I ate too much, or because I didn’t exercise at all because this, because that.” I had never seen anyone with stretch marks, and I don’t know any girls that have gotten them from being pregnant. It really hurt. Not only to dislike myself, but to know it was my fault that I did. When my boyfriend helped me into the shower I was scared of his reaction to how I looked. I will admit I cried over it, it hurt so much. He always tells me I’m beautiful and not to worry because he will always love me no matter how I look. I know he means it but I still wish I could feel good about myself. I never appreciated what I had before pregnancy, and this must be my punishment now…Although I have lost almost all of the weight (except for about 10 pounds) I am still have marks and saggy boobs.

I want to continue my schooling and continue to give my little girl everything she needs. I love her more than anything and I love being a mom, and I wouldn’t trade her for the world.

1st picture ~2 weeks before giving birth
2nd & 3rd ~ side stretch marks
4th & 5th ~ 8 weeks PP
6th~ Today
7th~ Me and Aales
8th~My baby girl: Aales (Uh-Lease) Jaedan Brack

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15 Responses to “Why Me? (Rachel)”

  1. kat Says:
    August 4th, 2011 at 8:35 am

    You’re stunning! Congrats on your beautiful girl and you are very mature for your age. Your bf and baby girl are very lucky to have you.

  2. shannon Says:
    August 4th, 2011 at 8:59 am

    You are kidding about those stretch marks right? That is absolutely nothing…literally! I had to struggle to even see them. You just had a baby 8 weeks ago and look like you never were pregnant. The marks will fade (if that is even possible with how light they are)! You look great, and your daughter is beautiful :)

  3. Marz Says:
    August 4th, 2011 at 9:21 am

    Your daughter is cute as a button! I love the little cheeks! I had stretch marks onmy hips before I got pregnant, and that’s made it easier for me to accept the ones I have now (nothing like growing hips in a week during 8th grade!). For what it’s worth, the stretch marks DO fade a LOT. Give hem a few more weeks :)
    I got (new) stretch marks even though for the first 25 weeks I walked 5 miles every day on my treadmill and ate so little/gained so little weght that my doctor had to put me on anti-anxiety pills because I was having panic attacks every time I ate. Granted, the anxiety pills definitely made me gain a whole mess of weight toward the end, lol, but I stil was stretching even before that.
    Point is– stretch marks rarely have anything to do with how much you eat/gain/exercise during pregnancy.

  4. Jen Says:
    August 4th, 2011 at 10:58 am

    Girl, you look so good!!! Amazing for having a baby. I have 2 and a few stretch marks as well. It is hard being so young and hating how you look but our babies are so worth it. Congrats on the beautiful baby girl, best of luck to you.

  5. French fries Says:
    August 4th, 2011 at 12:47 pm

    Nothing wrong with your body. Seriously, I don’t know if it is luck or that you have worked out and eaten healthy, but you don’t look like you have been pregnant at all.

    Be happy!

  6. Elivert Says:
    August 4th, 2011 at 1:24 pm

    Hahahaha You title makes me laugh :) you look fantastic and even more counting the little time you have postpartum.

  7. Sarah P. Says:
    August 4th, 2011 at 2:32 pm

    You have the smallest, most insignificant little stretch marks! As for being a teenager with stretch marks, I did! I didn’t have my daughter until I was in my twenties, I did have stretch marks from puberty – in fact, many girls do. I was under 100 pounds in high school, but had stretch marks on my hips from puberty. after having my daughter, I earned more on my breasts, thighs and a few on my tummy. To tell you the truth, I love them. I love the reminder of carrying my daughter. :)
    Good for you for graduating with straight As. DEFINITELY go on to college! Don’t give up. It is not easy to go to college with a baby (I did), but it is certainly possible! I graduated with honors in May, my daughter is four. I’ll be continuing in September in pursuit of my graduate degree in counseling psychology. I’m pregnant with my second, a little boy, due in October. :)
    I want to encourage you to keep going forward. Just as you said, you want to give your daughter the best things you possibly can, full of beautiful memories, free of hardship. The first step is to get your degree. Coming from a life of poverty, this has been my mantra. One step in front of the other, hun. When the road gets rough, wear boots. ;)

  8. Tessa Says:
    August 4th, 2011 at 2:55 pm

    You look GREAT!

    I was 19 and pregnant. I look a LOT worse than you. I’ll never, ever have a cute stomach again, though I do have fitness goals I know I’ll reach. But, I’ve got so much loose skin and bold stretch marks, nothing short of surgery could fix it. And I’m nearly 2 years postpartum now.

    You don’t even look like you’ve eve rhad a baby!

  9. Kayla Says:
    August 4th, 2011 at 5:19 pm

    Girl, I got stretch marks like that from puberty! You look awesome! I gained 50 pounds too and I have way more stretch marks. Don’t blame yourself. Those stretch marks will fade and right when that happens you will find that you have accepted them. I am now 4 months pp and I have completely accepted and have a strong emotional relationship with mine, and they are almost completely faded now. You will be amazed at how much you grow over the next few months. Just read all of my posts. They are proof! lol My most recent post is the one right before yours, “Summer lovin” :) Your daughter is beautiful.

  10. samantha Says:
    August 5th, 2011 at 12:33 am

    I must say, I am jealous! haha you look awesome stretch marks fade plus you’re only 8 weeks pp you will keep changing for a few months anyway.

  11. Mary V Says:
    August 5th, 2011 at 6:43 am

    Wowie! Your 8 weeks pp?!?!?!?! You look great, and dont worry the stretch marks will fade :) Congratulations on your baby, she is adorable!

  12. Dee Says:
    August 6th, 2011 at 9:51 am

    We’re in the same boat! I got preggo at 16 and had a beautiful little girl at 17. My boyfriend and I were both hoping for a boy, too, but we couldn’t love our little girl more. We’re gunna try again for a boy in a few years. Our stretchmarks look really similar, too. I’m almost 9 months postpartum and they’ve faded so much. They still bother me a little bit, but I’ve still worn a bikini all summer. You are beautiful, honestly. And so is your daughter.

  13. Ashley Says:
    August 15th, 2011 at 12:24 am

    You look GREAT especially for only 8 weeks postpartum! I can barely see the stretch marks and they will fade a ton.

    I gained 60lbs and my stretch marks are much more noticeable, deeper, etc. Don’t beat yourself up about how much you gained, I’ve met moms that only gained 25lbs that got A TON of stretchmarks and I’ve met moms that gained 80-90lbs and didn’t get any! My sister gained 35lbs and got way more than I did and I gained almost 2x as much!

    Anyway, you look great. Way to finish school wih all A’s too! That’s hard enough without the added stress of being pregnant in HS, you should be proud!

  14. Milla Says:
    August 22nd, 2011 at 6:40 pm

    OMG with that face u dont have nothing to worry abt, u r beautiful and ur baby is just perfect =D! and the stretch marks? who cares? u have a healty and perfectly functional body ^^

  15. Tabitha Says:
    September 29th, 2011 at 12:58 am

    You look absolutely amazing girlie, what are you talking about?? I struggled and felt I hadn’t appreciated my pre pregnancy figure enough too…but we never do, appreciate at the time what we have..Now i’m attempting to learn to like or accept what I have at the moment, as I know I could easily look back again after this pregnancy and sigh and think again…oh dear,why couldn’t you see that you looked absolutely fine..? You really do look great.

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