The Shape of a Mother The Shape of a Mother The Shape of a Mother The Shape of a Mother The Shape of a Mother

« | Home | »

Wanting to Love Something That Is Beautiful (Taylor)

October 12, 2012

I have never been skinny, my whole life i have watched my mom who has 3 children share clothes with my younger sister when i could never do that. To this day they still do that but now it hurts me more… i am 18 i am 2 months postpartum 25 pounds too heavy and riddled with stretch marks. My mom has no stretch marks and shares clothes with my size 00 14 year old sister who walks around the house complaining about how fat she is. All i can do is look down at my tummy jello and compare myself to her. I have a beautiful daughter and everything my body went through to get to her is well past worth it but i can’t help looking at myself in the mirror and wanting to cry. I was hoping with the way my mom looks i would look ok after having my baby but i wasn’t that lucky. I don’t understand how I’m supposed to accept my body with the way my family looks. I was 17 when i got pregnant, i had just started wrestling and i was almost happy with my body. I had good muscle tone and i liked the size of clothes i wore (3 in jeans… now a size 7). I never thought that the postpartum period would actually be the hardest part of having a baby (body wise). I could accept my weight gain during pregnancy because everyone claimed it was going to get soo much better, that if i breastfed the weight would melt off and of course i would have my beautiful baby at the end. Well i have my adorable baby but where is the body everyone promised me? I feel terrible about not being able to accept it because i did earn it. My boyfriend told me he has never been more attracted to me because of earning all those marks on my body by making our daughter. I just can’t bring myself to feel the same way that he does. I want to love my body but i can’t see how i ever will.

Pictures:
1) pre-pregnancy
2) 32 weeks pregnant (before i really got my stretch marks )
3) my beautiful baby
4) 9 weeks postpartum front
5) 9 weeks postpartum side

Post to Twitter Post to Facebook

8 Responses to “Wanting to Love Something That Is Beautiful (Taylor)”

  1. Anna Says:
    October 12th, 2012 at 7:46 am

    Dear Taylor, imagine you have one more baby, who is ill and doesn’t look perfect. Would you love him or her? My guess is you would. So why are you so harsh on youself? It’s perfectly natural and normal that you want to look your best but love your LOVELY body! Because it deserves love. As for your boyfriend: if he got scarred trying to save your daughter from danger would you love him less? Take care. Best wishes. Anna

  2. Lisa Says:
    October 12th, 2012 at 5:04 pm

    Oh sweetheart, give it time. You DO look great (though I know you don’t feel like it) Can I suggest getting a postpartum wrap to help you support your muscles while everything shrinks back. Just keep taking care of yourself and try not to get too down on yourself. You really do look GREAT especially for being only 9 weeks pp. I am 18 months pp from having my 3rd baby and still have a good 15lbs to go. Try to love yourself and your beautiful daughter! Also, believe your BF, he LOVES you.

  3. Amaris Says:
    October 13th, 2012 at 10:34 am

    You are beautiful. My boyfriend thinks that skinny girls are not as attractive as voluptuous girls with something to grab on to. Many men in my culture feel that way. Try to think that everyone’s idea of beauty isn’t the same. Just because the western culture is dominant doesn’t mean that it is right! :-) You are beautiful and your daughter is super gorgeous. I love her eyes, they are killer!

  4. Natalie Says:
    October 14th, 2012 at 2:39 pm

    Taylor,
    comparing your self to others is your worst enemy and something that will add to feeling miserable. So please stop:) Your hips might go back to pre – pregnancy state, everybody is different on this one. The stretch marks do fade with time, give it couple months. For the tummy, speaking from experience it took some exercise for my tummy to firm up. Even after I lost 45 pounds, my tummy still looked 3-4 months pregnant! Walking 1.5 miles around my neighborhood and pushing the stroller helped. I am also doing a “brazillian butt” exercise that I found on Pinterest, it’s helping me build lower body muscle tone. You are only 2 months PP, don’t beat yourself over how you look. I know how hard it is because I have been there (I have 3! sisters to compare myself to). Oh and believe your boyfriend when he says he is attracted to you :)

  5. Eli Says:
    October 22nd, 2012 at 8:42 pm

    Hi my beautiful belly twin :)

  6. Katy Says:
    October 24th, 2012 at 2:19 pm

    Hey Beautiful Lady,
    I want to point something out to you.. You said you’ve never been skinny and I get the feeling you’ve never felt good about your body. But when I look at your prepregnancy picture and even your pp pictures.. to me you DO look skinny. Comparing yourself to your sister just doesn’t make sense.. There will always be someone who you may feel looks skinnier or better, but theres always someone who weighs more than you too. I’ll admit when I read that you’re in size 7 jeans I felt jealous. But me looking at your body and saying ” I wish I was like that” Is just as silly and pointless as you looking at your mom’s or sisters body and thinking the same thing. The important thing Is perspective, From my perspective and the other ladies on here, you’re beautiful. Change your perspective.. Listen to your boyfriend.
    You-ARE-Beautiful!

  7. Toni Says:
    December 10th, 2012 at 6:35 am

    Wow i think you look good to say its only 9 weeks since you’ve had baby. Those marks Will fade, you can if you want to lose weight. Listen to your boyfriend he obviously adores you men dont usually say such sweet things. Just be yourself and be happy x

  8. katlyn Says:
    December 20th, 2012 at 1:34 pm

    Hey, girl let me just say my daughter is 13 months and I know how you feel. My mom is on her 5th child she just had about 2 months ago & ohhh how I was hoping I would be able to go back with no stretch marks or nothing just like her, but it didnt happen & its still hard till this day but it helps now that ive lost more weight and they have lightened up alot. It hurts to much being so hard on yourself I’ve been there, try not to be.

Comments


Support This Site