August 26, 2008 was the day i found out i was pregnant, this day was also my boyfriend’s birthday (what a birthday gift I gave him…hahaha). So I woke up that morning and for some reason I thought maybe I’d take a home pregnancy test because the day before I was worrying since we weren’t using protection. When I saw that positive I was so distraught, very scared and clueless of what to do. I barely turned 18 and my boyfriend was turning 17. Both very young with a big future ahead of us and finding out we we’re expecting wasn’t very easy to accept. We both thought about abortion and I made an appointment, the day came and the doctor told me the baby was too little to be seen in sonogram, I was probably less than 4 weeks and arranged another appointment 2 weeks later. During those 2 weeks so much changed.
I was living with my best friends family. I told my best friend I was pregnant and it was suppose to be a secret. She told her mom and she was against the abortion and talked to me about the choices I could do but abortion wasn’t an option. That day I realized I couldn’t kill the love I’ve made with my boyfriend. I felt very stupid for ever thinking I could abort and felt selfish. There’s a reason why these things happen. I thought to myself that if i would have aborted I would have felt like a coward and would have not owned up to my responsibilities for the actions i made. Each day passed and I was very happy with my choice except thinking of what my body would end up like.
I’ve always been a girl with low self-esteem my height didn’t help (4’11) and knowing that my body would change drastically wasn’t something I liked to accept, all the stretch marks and a big belly. Though days went on and I was happy that I had a real easy pregnancy with no morning sicknesses, I was able to sleep good even to the last day, and still no stretch marks. Until the last month was when I was able to see my stretch marks, they weren’t very visible but I knew they we’re there.
The day my water broke was May 1st and I was nervous, excited, scared, so many mixed emotions I just couldn’t wait to meet my little one I had been carrying inside me for 9 months. I was having trouble during labor. My cervix wasn’t dialating and after 10 hours I only dialated barely 2 centimeters. Doctor told me I had to get a c-section. I was very upset at first because this was not how I planned on how I wanted to give birth. On May 2, 2009 I gave birth to a beautiful healthy daughter named Hailey weighing 7 lbs. and 7 ounces and 18 inches long.
It’s been almost about 4 months since I gave birth and I am very proud and happy young mom. I love being a mother and I am very glad that I didn’t go through with the abortion because I know if I did I would never be able to forgive myself.
Everything is great except one thing. I love daughter so much but I’m still learning to accept my body. So far I’ve learned to accept my stretch marks because I know somehow one way or another my belly had to stretch for new life I was carrying and also because my stretch marks we’re made with love because of my little one. I just don’t like my sagging tummy and I just don’t feel good about my image. I see how many girls my age would dress and I would like to feel good in what I dress in and not worry about how I look or people say. Sometimes it helps when my boyfriend tells me that I shouldn’t worry that he still loves the way I look and my tummy is special because that’s where Hailey came out from. But I guess it’ll take sometime. I’m just glad that I was able to give life because she makes everything so worth it.
below are some pictures
1. Before pregnancy
2. 39 weeks pregnant
3. Hailey’s latest picture
4. 16 weeks postpartum front view
5. side view
Number of pregnancies & birth: 1
Age age of my child: 3 months and 4 weeks