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Upset With My Postpartum Body 10 Months In (Sara)

April 8, 2013

I had my first child 10 months ago at the age of 21. Before I had him I just started getting into the best shape of my life (the healthy way) I started off at 165 and had gotten down to 158 and 1 week after getting down to 158 I found out I was pregnant. I always disliked my body and hated the way I looked naked but since having my child I really hate the way I look. I look at myself naked and cant stand to see myself. Everything and anything I put myself in I feel makes me look gross and all my flaws (except the stretch marks) are exposed. My boyfriend of 7 years always tells me how beautiful I look and how great I’m doing with my exercise ( 8 months postpartum I was 168 and now 10 months postpartum I weigh 156) but each and everytime he tells me he thinks I’m beautiful I just can’t help but think he’s lying to me and just saying things to make me happy. Not only do I feel he is not sincere(when he is) I feel like he thinks every other girl is prettier than me and wishes I looked like them (especially the victoria secret models) and it may just be me comparing myself to woman who have had babies ( celebs) 5 months ago and already look like they have never had a kid or even to the girls my age who are “perfect” but I really can’t stand to see my body. Having my wonderful, beautiful son has made me hate myself. I know looks aren’t everything but right now all I care about is my looks and looking great naked or even… in clothes. I hate the little “lip” under my stomach( ive always had it but since having my son it’s gotten worse) basically I hate almost EVERYTHING on my body. And I have no idea how my boyfriend would want anything to do with my body.
These are all postpartum pictures of the body parts I hate the most and just a pictures of my lil man at 4 months old :)

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15 Responses to “Upset With My Postpartum Body 10 Months In (Sara)”

  1. Devin Says:
    April 8th, 2013 at 9:09 am

    I know to some extent we ALL can agree that our bodies are different after having kids. So, I won’t dismiss your issues with your body – I know I have mine. But what I do see is a fantastic vessel of life! Your have a beautiful face, skintone & those quad muscles! Have mercy! =) It’s difficult to accept praise/compliments when you don’t see what everyone else does. You, however, owe it to yourself & your son to try to see the good in your body. You look great & I wish you the best of luck in your motherhood journey!

  2. Jessica Cobb (@DomesticPirate) Says:
    April 8th, 2013 at 9:29 am

    I see a body that has done something beautiful, and has not yet had enough time to reset. It takes twice as long as your pregnancy for your hormones to get back to normal and your body to fully recover (which is why it’s recommended that women allow 18 months between children), longer if you choose to breastfeed. Motherhood is what women were made for, and it changes us body and soul. The body you had before was for the person you were before. Embrace the body of motherhood you have now, because it has done, and will do, amazing things!

    We are pregnant with our 4th child, and it took me a long time to learn to love the softer parts of me. I was at my lowest weight and smallest size since high school before this pregnancy, but it wasn’t my size that made me happy; it was knowing I was healthy. Your body looks exactly like my postpartum body. It can, and will, change if you keep working on it, but please keep in mind that your boyfriend and your son don’t love you for your body, so you definitely shouldn’t be letting it hold you back.

  3. Melissa haynie Says:
    April 8th, 2013 at 9:41 am

    You are beautiful. That body of yours has held life and brought it forth into this world. Stop and Think for just a moment what an accomplishment that is. We all are different. Each of us born with a uniquely wonderful body… one that we shouldn’t compare to another person’s body. How can we do that when we are all different. Most photos of celebs we see are airbrushed and touched up… your body is real, beautiful, and amazing. It has brought you a child the light of your world… and it will never be the same as it was before you had that babe. Think of this…. your child sees in you the vessel of his life…. and you hate it? No you should honor it, love it, and cherish it.

  4. Kaye Says:
    April 8th, 2013 at 10:01 am

    you have an array of people who love you:
    1. God — He loved you even before He formed you. Still He loves you.
    2. Your parents — they were delighted seeing their features in you. And they raised you a confident person.
    3. The third person who should love you is YOU. never neglect yourself the love only you can give to yourself.

    i know it’s hard seeing the physical changes — my tummy looks like a ripple of marks. but whenever i look at my son it makes me feel like flaunting my flaws — i’m proud to have been given the ability to produce life! be proud and what matters most is your disposition and attitude toward life. let this journey be beautiful because YOU ARE.

  5. Corey Says:
    April 8th, 2013 at 10:30 am

    Beauty is in the way we love and the way we lead our lives and treat others. Find the love and you will find the beauty. XOXO

  6. Erin Says:
    April 8th, 2013 at 10:34 am

    I think you look great! Don’t get down on yourself! You might hate your body (something that most ppl have thought at one point) but that doesn’t mean that you are ugly or that your boyfriend hates it! We are all harder on ourselves than other people are.
    Find comfort in the fact that you are not alone in this. Millions of mothers look just like you and feel the same too. We just don’t get to see it in the media but you are a very normal woman. And a beautiful mother! Keep working out, it will make you feel better about yourself!

  7. Kendra Says:
    April 8th, 2013 at 12:36 pm

    Try this… Look at the pictures, but try to *honestly* critique them as if they were someone else. Because, yeah, we are SO MUCH more harsh to ourselves than we would EVER be to any other woman.

    And the arm fat thing? I noticed a few weeks ago a video of Anne Hathaway (who is VERY fit as well as naturally slender) and she lifts her arm to wave, and the woman had just as much upper-arm fat as the rest of us. God bless her! :-P http://www.policymic.com/articles/27577/anne-hathaway-waving-gif-oscars-2013 You can kinda see it there.

    Keep up the good work, though! It sounds like you’re doing great!

  8. msantos Says:
    April 12th, 2013 at 4:10 am

    Your skin toneis great which can help in time to firm and lift back, you are young so just give it some time. I’m 22, but my skin tone is not so great, my breasts look just like yours except with more stretchmarks, popping veins and thin skin- I breast feed. I think you look amazing, you can really firm up if you give it time, patience, self love and dedication! Hugs to you and your beautiful baby!

  9. Adrienne Says:
    April 15th, 2013 at 11:51 am

    You two are the cutest!!

  10. VanillaW Says:
    April 19th, 2013 at 1:32 pm

    Even if he is saying things to make you feel better, the fact that doing so is important to him means that your feelings are important to him and your self esteem is important to him also. Cheer up! You have a great guy, great baby, and a body on the mend. It took 9months to get whacked outta shape and it will take at LEAST that long to lose the weight.

    And, to make you laugh: I was sulking about my stretch marks, which look like yours. My husband said, “awww, cheer up honey. Those aren’t stretch marks, those are victory stripes! It shows that you won!”

  11. Megan Says:
    May 25th, 2013 at 10:01 pm

    You are so beautiful and your son is adorable. Please don’t be depressed. It’s such a waste of time

  12. Brittany Says:
    June 1st, 2013 at 9:11 pm

    I see your pictures and I see someone who although may have a few pounds more than they like is full of potential. Your skin tone is amazing, elasticity is there. You’re not lumpy or bumpy. If you committed to training you could ABSOLUTELY have whatever body you are willing to work for. I was in a similar situation to you but actually achieved my dream body and then became pregnant. I have it back now too. It’s a fallacy that going to the gym and messing around on a cardio machine will give you the body you want. You need to lift weight, and properly. Squats, dead lifts, upper body work. The Internet has great strength training resources. Strength training is absolutely my miracle though, and I’m sure all those “perfect” looking celebs would agree. Be kind to your body, fuel it with nutritious foods and work it gently but HARD and you’ll change your life. Confidence, empowerment, results of your own hard work. A release for when being a mom is hard! You can absolutely do it! Good luck and see the potential in your body, not the flaws!!

  13. Jamie Says:
    June 21st, 2013 at 7:31 am

    I think you’re gorgeous! You are a true nature beauty, which is hard to find in today’s world. You have amazing skin, simply beautiful face and I’d die to have your breasts! I promise I am not just saying that, I have nothing to gain by lying to you!

    I think you look great for 10mths PP. Don’t worry too much about your arms and tummy – with carrying your DS everywhere you’ll have muscular biceps in no time! ;) I think the tummy is the hardest part for many women. I think it will come back in time.

    (((HUGS)))

  14. Taylor Says:
    July 5th, 2013 at 12:03 am

    You are GORGEOUS. It’s so funny how I wound up seeing this post (funny in a sad way, maybe): I typed “I hate my postpartum body” into Google. I’m 6 months postpartum and though I’ve lost a ton of weight–I gained 60, only 15 left–I still feel so down about myself.

    I see my friends wearing tiny shorts and tank tops like I did just before I got pregnant, and I’m still in maternity jeans because I can’t bring myself to buy “real” pants in a bigger size! I also have bright red stretch marks everywhere, even the backs of my knees somehow.

    Seeing your pictures, all I kept thinking was, “She is absolutely beautiful.” Then I wondered why I couldn’t think the same thing when I looked at pictures of myself. We’re all hypercritical of ourselves, so I think it’s important to give ourselves time to grieve our old bodies and our old lives, but to look at the changes of motherhood–physical and mental–as the truly positive, amazing transformations they really are.

    Best of luck, Sara! PS: Your little boy is adorable :)

    And to Jessica Cobb: “The body you had before was for the person you were before.” That literally brought tears of joy to my eyes. I hope you don’t mind–I’m putting your words onto my desktop to remind me to love who I am now in every way! I’m sick of my weight, saggy skin, and stretch marks–but more than anything, I’m sick of hating myself.

  15. Mandy Says:
    November 15th, 2013 at 4:49 am

    I have to agree with everyone above honey! You are beautiful and I was feeling exactly how you are and I’m so glad I found your post it really makes me feel like I am not alone! I’ve been reading on the internet about this very thing and people are talking about home excercise videos and I’m saying to myself “duh!” If I hadn’t been so depressed and down on myself I would have told myself the same thing. Good luck honey and don’t worry about your man, you gave birth to his child and you will always be sexy to him! I know that for myself these posts have helped and I already feel hopeful about the future! Take care!

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