Previous entry here.
This is an update from my first submission here on SOAM. When I first typed this I had this whole long story about what I’ve been through the past year, but I realized it would be a VERY long story. So here’s a summary of my first year of motherhood (although it’s still fairly long):
I had my c-section on September 3rd last year, it was horrible and I never want to have another c-section in my life. EVER. The first few months were the hardest, especially after my daughter’s father had to leave to go back to Tennessee. I had hardly any help and was trying to do school work as well. Once my daughter got older and started crawling and sleeping through the night things were much easier. My mother went into a coma in March, and passed away in April. This was when I said “Away with you self-esteem problems!” What’s the point of wasting my life thinking about how much I want a perfect body. It won’t ever happen so I got over it. I can still live a fantastic life without a perfect body. At the time, me and my boyfriend were broken up, but he was still there for me after my mom died even though he also had another girlfriend at the time. After her death it was hard to pick myself back up. I was depressed constantly, I cried easily, I got pissed off at everyone for no reason, I stopped exercising and eating healthy, I wasn’t doing my school work. I reverted to self-harming, and my family saw it, but didn’t bother to ask why or get me any help. I picked myself up finally and I’ve been catching up on my school work (I’m about 5 months behind), I’ve been exercising daily again, and I’m just happier overall. My daughter was my only real motivation to pick myself up again, and without her I don’t know where I would be today. My boyfriend and I are back together, we’ve broken up several times (mostly because he still lives in Tennessee, long-distance relationships are hard to maintain), he’s found several different girls to replace me (all of them of course being much more gorgeous than myself, further plummeting my self-esteem), but in the end we always found ourselves going back to one another. He’s been there for me through everything, even if we weren’t together and even if we hated each other’s guts at the time. SO I’m hoping that things will only get better between us once he moves back to Florida this month. My daughter is almost one now and she’s hitting all of her milestones, she’s perfect, healthy, and happy. Everyone told me that because I was a 15-year-old mother I wouldn’t be able to properly raise her. Well this is my big SCREW YOU to who ever doubted me. I’ve raised this baby girl BY MYSELF for this whole year. My parents did NOT raise my daughter, I did. So every one who thinks that age defines your ability to be a parent can now admit how wrong they are.
For anyone wondering about my weight loss, by the end of my pregnancy I was 175lbs (which is HEAVY when you’re only 5’1″.) I was about 145lbs last time I submitted, I was a size 12, and a D-cup. Now I am about 120lbs, I am a size 7, and a B-cup. I’m very proud of how much weight I’ve lost, now I’m just hoping to tone up my body again and get rid of my still-pregnant looking tummy. My stretch marks have faded and are silver, but I have a wrinkly looking belly and that is the only thing I wish I could change.
Another side note: To any teen mothers out there struggling, there is hope. Life may seem bad, you may be behind in school, living in a crappy place, struggling with your appearance, dealing with a screaming child day after day after day, dealing with relationship problems, but just a take a few minutes each day to look at your child and remember why you’re going through everything. Without my daughter I don’t know what I’d do to stay sane. If you ever need advice, encouragement, or just to vent you can always email me at terressagallup AT gmail.com
Photos 1&2: Me now at 1 year PP.
Photo 3&4: Me & my daughter when she was first born/ Me & my daughter now.
Photo 5 : My babygirl <3 Photo 6: A picture of me & my mom when I was a baby, I realize that this doesn't have much to do with my post but I want to include it because my mother was the strongest woman I've ever known and if I can be even a fraction as strong as she was I'll be happy. ~Age: 16 ~Number of pregnancies and births: 1 Pregnancy/ 1 Birth ~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 1 year. [gallery]
You look amazing- I love that you included a pic with your mom xo
I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Was having a child at 15 ideal? Probably not. But I think she came along when she did so that (1) your mom could have some time with a grandbaby and (2) you would have somebody to anchor you after the pain of losing your mother way too young. Your little girl is incredibly blessed to have been chosen for such noble purposes. You have a beautiful outlook on life and I think you’re going to rock whatever you put your mind to doing!
Terressa,
My condolence on your mother’s passing. However, she still seems to live on. You mentioned that you mom was the strongest woman you have ever known. Reading your post your mom instilled a great deal of strength and courage in you. This is why I say you mom lives on. Please pass the strength, courage, and LOVE to your daughter as mom had for you. Also you are correct age does not define maturity or ability to raise a family. Hang in there!!! Lastly, you do look great!
Keep smiling and loving your little girl!!! Together you two can take on the world!!!
HOLY HOT MAMA! You’ve been hiding that wonderful body from me Terressa?!
I love you, you look great! You’re such an inspiration sometimes for me to just be happy with how I look. I’ve been sitting around moping and eating everything in site again. =/
I miss Mylene so much, but you have so much of her free spirit in you, Terressa. Of course, you may have just a touch more responsibility. She was a great Mom though, I loved hanging out with her. I hate that she never got to meet my son when she came down last (darn Eric, it’s his fault), but at least she met Maya. =]
Keep it up girl, you’re looking sooo wonderful, you’re doing so great. I’m proud. But you already know that. =D
Your daughter is beautiful, I am not a teen mom but I raise my daughter primarily on my own because my husband works in another state. I understand the struggles, so kudos to you for making her your priority and staying positive. You’re a wonderful example of doing what you have to do to be a great mother.
You sound like a strong woman. You have a great body but I am sure lots of people will say that.
I am the daughter of a 16 year old mother (single parent). I am now in my 40s with my own children. Both my brother and I went Uni and didn’t lack anything (apart from money!) He has gone on to become a Rocket Scientist!
… You can be as a good a parent as you want to be. Age is not a barrier to good parenting.
I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. Her strength is within you. I am sure she would be so very proud of you.
Awww, you look just like your mom. She gave you her eyes:)
“I said “Away with you self-esteem problems!” What’s the point of wasting my life thinking about how much I want a perfect body. It won’t ever happen so I got over it.”
fuck yea
“Everyone told me that because I was a 15-year-old mother I wouldn’t be able to properly raise her. Well this is my big SCREW YOU to who ever doubted me. I’ve raised this baby girl BY MYSELF for this whole year. My parents did NOT raise my daughter, I did. So every one who thinks that age defines your ability to be a parent can now admit how wrong they are.”
That’s because at 15 you are pretty immature.
But some ppl pull through and become strong, as you are doing.
Doesn’t mean that most of the others do.
I hope you don’t find it hard to believe, but i hope it works out for you.
Your story is touching. Im sorry for that your mom passed away. Im sure she is.looking down at you and she is so proud. Your baby is beautiful and you are beautiful as well.,my gosh i do not see a flaw on you,lucky girl ;) we do tend to be harder on ourselves. Im glad you have someone to lean on and i hope everything works out for you and,your bf. Keep that strength that you have and teach your daughter to be strong like your mother taught you, i can tell. Seems you are doing an amazing job so keep it up. God bless
So, I randomly came across this site, and your story. I can totally understand some of your pain. My mom passed this January when my daughter was only 6 months old. I have those same damn silvery stretch marks that make stomach skin all wrinkly. And I was 172 lbs at the end of my pregnancy, and it took me a little while to lose it. As such, I really want to congratulate you for pulling through. I’m 23, and I still had a pretty hard time dealing with my first child, and simultaneously dealing with the passing of my mother. And the truest thing you wrote is that when things get hard, look at your baby. My daughter, Aribella, has kept me sane, happy, and healthy. Every time I think I could become depressed, I’d look at her smiling face and I’d know that my depression would bring her down too.
Anyhow, I don’t even know if you check this anymore, or if you’ll ever see it, but I hope you’re still doing okay, and I hope everything is going your way. You deserve it.