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Twice Blessed (mommy2twincesses)

May 17, 2011

After suffering the heart breaking loss of a miscarriage, my husband and I were beyond elated to find that shortly after we were expecting twins. From that amazing discovery at just 7 weeks, I slathered myself religiously with any and every tummy/stretch mark cream I could get my hands on. By the time I was 30 weeks I still had not been graced with stretch marks but decided that I’d better go ahead and take maternity photos at that time, just in case. It’s a good thing too, because at straight up 31 weeks my tummy looked like a road map. At that point I swear I thought I couldn’t get any bigger if I’d even wanted to without literally popping open, but low and behold I did. By the time I delivered my gorgeous identical twin girls via c-section at 35 weeks I measured an impressive 44 inches. My girls were healthy and at that time that was all that mattered. Within the first weeks after their arrival I didn’t have time to think about my body’s aftermath and honestly thought that with time I would “get my body back”. However, after two years of trying to “get it back” through healthy diet and exercise, I finally admitted to myself that although the weight was gone (and then some) that there was nothing I could do about the “twin skin” and in fact, the more I lost, the more saggy my tummy got. My wonderful husband knew full well that my insecurities was not only damaging my relationship with myself, but it was driving a wedge between us too because I was so ashamed of my body that I simply refused to let him see my naked body. He fully supported my wishes to have my belly surgically corrected and for us, it was the best decision we could’ve made! I still have stretch marks, but finally, I feel like and can see ME again!

The shape of a mother should be one that she is completely proud of and confident in. For me, it took drastic measures, but there is still plenty of evidence of the miracles my body grew and nurtured. At 28 years young, I just couldn’t see spending the rest of my life ashamed of my body and now, I don’t have to! And through sharing this as well as my blog I want to give others hope and let them know that yes, you should love yourself, but if you were injured or disfigured in an accident you wouldn’t think twice about correcting the damage done and in my eyes, pregnancy is no different.

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21 Responses to “Twice Blessed (mommy2twincesses)”

  1. Kerry Says:
    May 17th, 2011 at 7:39 am

    Disfiguration from an accident is not the same thing as stretch marks and saggy skin. I can say that because I was in a very serious accident and half of my skull needed to be rebuilt. I still have many scars and every day I look in the mirror I’m reminded of that time in my life. It’s the same as my belly, I would never want to erase those memories, they make us who we are. One is a reminder of terror and anguish, another of joy and life. These are part of who we are. They tell of the journeys we’ve traveled.

  2. Crystal Says:
    May 17th, 2011 at 8:31 am

    I am glad that you feel better about yourself, but I am confused about why you were ashamed of your body before. It looked great! In fact, it looks like me (I am also a mother of twins-boys, 4 years old now). Ashamed and disfigured seem like pretty harsh words. I always find myself wondering what people would think of *me* if they think so badly of themselves. We are always our own worst critics, I suppose. At any rate, you were beautiful as you were!!

    In my eyes, pregnancy is different than being in some sort of tragic accident. I was not disfigured by my boys. I look just like many other moms who bore twins.

    But I must say, ouch! That is a vicious scar. Did it hurt??

  3. Dee Says:
    May 17th, 2011 at 10:55 am

    I believe that you should do what ever makes you feel happy and comfortable and if it took the drastic measures of surgery to do that, then good for you! I don’t think you really needed it, but you look great now. I understand what you mean about the disfiguration. I didn’t have twins, but by the end of my pregnancy I felt like I was in a horror film with all the things being pregnant was doing to my body so in that way they are the same, but the marks and “disfiguration” we get from pregnancy are marks of love and life, not of tragedy.

  4. mell Says:
    May 17th, 2011 at 1:15 pm

    oooh, this is gonna be a touchy post. throwing around “disfigured” and “tragedy” seems a little dicely. i just want to say i got bigger than 44 inches with just one kid, am COVERED in stretch marks, and got way more skin that you. and i’d kill for a tummy tuck/boob lift. no judgment here. just jealousy;)

  5. jenny w Says:
    May 17th, 2011 at 2:59 pm

    I have two children and I’ve just recently had a boob job, so I am completely ok with surgery. I am glad you got your tummy tuck, there is no need to go the rest of your life hating your body.

  6. Marie Says:
    May 17th, 2011 at 4:27 pm

    Good for you for putting your true feelings out there! Even though our children are the most important things to take care of, it is imperative that we moms take care of ourselves too!

  7. mrspetunia Says:
    May 17th, 2011 at 7:25 pm

    People get braces all the time and although they may try to justify it by saying that they are correcting an overbite blah blah blah the vast majority of the time it is for cosmetic reasons. Likewise, people get piercings, put on makeup, dye their hair, workout, all to manipulate/”improve” their appearance. You just took a slightly more drastic and less common step. So what? Go for it. I think that ideally we would all be able to accept our bodies just as they are. That is, I think, the main idea this wonderful site it promoting and it is a lofty and important goal. But we are just not all there yet. If it took a surgery for you to not feel ashamed of your body than the surgery was worth every penny. Life is just too short to be miserable. It is also too short to walk around with a long list of “shoulds” (I should feel okay with my body, I should be able to accept myself, I should be able to get over my vanity”). Been there, done that, it just ain’t worth it. So I think that, given the reality of your situation and feelings, you made a damn good and brave decision.
    Finally, your scar does NOT look vicious. Ignore that backhanded insult. You look marvelous!

  8. Mary V Says:
    May 18th, 2011 at 6:15 am

    Good for you! I am all for surgery esp. if you have tried to change your body with diet and exercise. You should feel comfortable, congratulations on your twins mama!

  9. Crystal Says:
    May 18th, 2011 at 6:16 am

    @Mrspetunia, there was no backhanded insult implied in my statement. It is a large scar! I was just surprised. I have never seen a tummy tuck scar before!

    Why would that be considered an insult?

  10. amber Says:
    May 18th, 2011 at 6:39 am

    you looked good before- you look great after. i too am hoping (4years now) that i will one day have a atummy tuck- im only 23 and i know i am grateful and so blessed to have my son, but that does not mean that i should have to live, accept and not change the damage or altered state of my body… hopefully one day i too can have a tt.

    blessed and tortured

  11. casey Says:
    May 18th, 2011 at 7:24 am

    mrspetunia, you are right on and I agree with everything you said.
    Everyone gets one body and one life and I get a bit worn out when some people act like every single mother “should” just be SO HAPPY that our bodies may have changed in a way that we aren’t crazy about due to pregnancy. “Disfigured” is a word that may offended some of you, but does it sound like twice blessed was trying to rip on people who have been in horrible accidents that bear life long scars from it? It didn’t seem that way to me at all, so why not give her the benefit of the doubt?
    Yes, having a child IS wonderful and I have no regrets about being pregnant and having a baby. I love my daughter more than any other person on this earth. But the pregnancy did drastically change my body. My body and the way I feel about it has NOTHING to do with how much I cherish my child. Please do not get the two concepts confused.
    If you want to wear the changes to your body like a proud mom badge, go for it! All the power to you, and I mean that with all respect. But if someone wants to have some plastic surgery to correct it, it’s THEIR body, THEIR choice, and they should not be judged for it.
    I wish people could just live their own lives in the way they see fit and not slam other people for living their lives the way that works best for them.

  12. Bonnie (SOAM) Says:
    May 18th, 2011 at 8:07 am

    As moderator of the comments I have to say I don’t feel anyone has “slammed” anyone. (And I haven’t had to delete any out-of-line comments either.)

  13. casey Says:
    May 18th, 2011 at 9:19 am

    Hi Bonnie–I guess my post (upon rereading) seemed like I was chewing out members on this site, sorry about that! I wasn’t referring to anyone on this site. . . just in my life in particular. Had horrible saggy breasts after pregnancy and got A LOT of negative feedback from certain people in my life when I mentioned that I wanted plastic surgery. I was called vain, selfish, and my sister even yelled at me that I thought my breasts were more important than my child, which was really insulting to me.
    Sorry, everyone–was not directing the comments at you!

  14. Bonnie (SOAM) Says:
    May 18th, 2011 at 9:27 am

    Gotcha! Sorry for the misunderstanding. :)

  15. shannon Says:
    May 18th, 2011 at 10:00 am

    I have to say, I think you look awesome before (looked like you only carried one child, and you still looked great for that!). You look very nice now as well, and it is great that you are happy in your skin again. I used to consider having a tummy tuck, but I would hate to lose any of my stretch marks, they are very special to me (my 1st son passed away). I can see where Kerry is coming from (she is a friend of mine), “disfigured” is a very harsh word for anyone (some people may have called my son disfigured, as he had a syndrome that gave him a very different appearance) everyone is beautiful :)

  16. mrspetunia Says:
    May 18th, 2011 at 6:25 pm

    Sorry Crystal! It seems as though you didn’t mean that comment as an insult. I stand corrected :)

  17. Elena Says:
    July 13th, 2011 at 5:47 am

    You should think it remembers you of a very special day: the day you gave birth to your 2 life miracles.

  18. Indigoash Says:
    July 15th, 2011 at 3:15 pm

    I think it’s great she had the opportunity to have the surgery. I would do it in a heartbeat! I have 2 1/2 year old twin boys and my oldest is a year and 3 months older then them. I’m smaller now than when my husband and I were dating, and no matter what I do I still have this kangaroo pouch at the bottom of my stomach that gets a fold when I sit. It’s disgusting to me and I hate it, even though I love all my babies . I miss feeling sexy and physically confident.

  19. Kym Says:
    August 11th, 2011 at 8:05 pm

    my goodness, this pulls on so many chords inside of me. i had my first baby at the young age of 15 through a deceiving relationship and gave my baby up for an adoption to a beautiful couple with whom i am very close. my tummy has had loose skin on it, all through my teenage years, and now at 31 after having two of my own beautiful children, it is even more so. i have worked out and done all i could physically to “fix” it, but know that the only way it could be “better” than what it is, is through surgery. i would LOVE to have surgery. i am not vain, and not doing it to put my body on display for anyone else, i just want to enjoy that part of my body. i think it is beautiful there are ladies that can “accept” their physical changes pp, but i think as women we SO need to support in each in how we feel about our bodies. to remove the excess skin from my tummy, does not mean i am not so proud of my pregnancy and my two (3) beautiful children; it does not mean i am trying to remove the remnants of having given life to these 3 amazing human beings—i have them in my life every day, and raise them brilliantly, and that is what counts. we are not worse of for wanting to “fix” what can not be done through diet and exercise. we are all individual ladies—lets stand tall together, and remember we can never completely understand each person’s individual story—we may be able to relate, but each to their own. i have struggled with the idea of having it done for over 15 years now, and shouldn’t be made to feel i love my kids and the life i gave them any less, because i don’t like the affects it put on my body. pregnancy is not “an accident”, no, but we do feel our bodies have been “disfigured”. we all know there’s worse, and we are lucky for what we have, but it’s how we feel, and as women we should be able to respect that about each other. love to all. (my tummy looks just like your before photo—and i would LOVE to see my tummy, looking like the after) thanks so much for your post.

  20. mommy2twincesses Says:
    September 13th, 2011 at 12:28 pm

    Hi ladies! Sorry it has taken me so long to respond to your comments, but I honeslty forgot I posted this! OOPS! I completely respect each and every opinion but want to say a special thanks to those who are supportive. We found out a few months after the surgery that my insurance would actually cover some of the expense as a preventative measure since the 2 inch gap left in my muscles from my rib cage to pubic bone would’ve eventually caused a hernia which would’ve require surgery to correct :o) Made me VERY happy! The picture from the front probably doesn’t do my “pre-surgery” tummy justice. Anyway, someone mentioned the scar and I must say that this surgery was a walk in the park compared to my c-section! One day shy of a full week I was out and about, a bit hunched over, but feeling GREAT! My scar looks 100% better now too, very light in color. I still have stretch marks-on my tummy, boobs, hips, and thighs, but I feel 200% better about my body since the surgery. I am ME again! Again, thanks to all for reading my story and I hope it inspires at least one other mommy. You don’t have to feel bad for disliking what’s left after pregnancy.

  21. Tish Says:
    October 26th, 2012 at 9:29 pm

    You Look Amazing!!

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