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Trying to Love Myself (JC)

February 6, 2014

~Age: 30
~Number of pregnancies/births: 2/2
~My children’s ages: 20 months & 3 weeks

~My story: I started my first pregnancy weighing about 135-140lbs (I’m 5’4″) – I was happy with my body, except for my tiny boobs & puffy nipples. I had just lost around 20 lbs very suddenly (had zero appetite for a few weeks due to a very rough/emotional summer) and was loving being “skinny” again!
I discovered I was pregnant when I went from eating nothing to eating EVERYTHING pretty much overnight. That and I couldn’t stay awake past 10pm for anything, lol. Anyhow, I ended pregnancy #1 @ 205lbs!! I blame the high weight gain on a combination of genetics, quitting smoking, eating “for two” after several weeks of not eating at all, being happy again, and grabbing breakfast and/or lunch at the drive thru WAY too often…

Baby #2 came as a bit of a surprise…we found out we were expecting again just days before celebrating baby #1′s first birthday!! My weight was still hovering around about 170lbs at this point, and had been for quite some time. =\ I ended pregnancy #2 at about 230lbs!!

Today, at 3 weeks postpartum, I am down to 190lbs. A LOT of my weight with both babies was water weight, so it drops drastically, then I get “stuck.” (Hoping I’m not “stuck” yet!!)

This time around I was also left with a good number of angry red/purple stretch marks on my belly. Baby #1 left me with a lot on my thighs, although the only ones on my belly were fairly light and appeared on my lower belly either during or after delivery! I’m starting to notice that wrinkly, saggy, deflated look as my belly gets “flatter” and the skin starts to “hang.” =P

I’m hoping to get back to around 145-150lbs at some point, so about 40lbs left, but this time around I am strangely at ease with my weight. 190lbs feels awfully thin after being well over 200 for a few months! That and there’s not much time or energy to worry about it with two boys under 2 in the house!!
For now I’m focusing on getting back to my pre-2nd-pregnancy weight of 170lbs, then I can start the journey back to 150lbs. Baby steps! I miss being thin, and I’d love to see a pic of me with only one chin (lol)….but I have two BEAUTIFUL baby boys to show for it, and I wouldn’t trade them for the world!! (So cliche, but SO very true!!)

This website is such an inspiration – in fact the majority of the photos I’ve seen actually make me a bit jealous, lol. Just goes to show that even when we think the worst of our bodies, there are other people out there looking at us with a twinge of jealousy over our weight or shape or size!! I’m trying to love myself more…back rolls and stretch marks and saggy belly/boobs and all!! ;)

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3 Responses to “Trying to Love Myself (JC)”

  1. Greg Says:
    February 12th, 2014 at 12:02 pm

    Hey JC, I wanted to say you’re a brave woman for posting your story and pictures. I am a 33 year old man with a 3 year old son. So from a ‘guys’ perspective here’s the first thing I thought… Your hips are great! Honestly, you could slip into some sexier panties and bra and instantly look great! I think you have a cute booty already so show it off in some bottoms that fit you. Just keep walking and excersising with your kiddos. You’re

  2. Kathleen Says:
    February 13th, 2014 at 2:32 pm

    Hey JC,
    I´m a 33-year-old-mother and I think you look like a pretty normal mother to me. I live in a tiny Spanish village and most mothers I see around me look exactly like you. In that respect it was a relief to come live here and leave the “fancy” city behind, where everyone was always trying to look ridiculously thin. Here, women don´t seem to care that much about their weight, they´re just hanging out with their kids in the park, looking quite happy to me. And I don´t care that much anymore either. I know I should do some exercise to stay healthy, but having little children already takes up so much energy… My daughter two and a half, and now I´m starting to get some free time, but you with two children under two years old… Oh my! I have no idea how you do that! So don´t you worry too much -whether you lose those extra pounds now or in a couple of years won´t matter. But the love and attention you give your children during the first two years of their lives is crucial to the development of their self-esteem and confidence in the world. You have the perfect body to cuddle! I think you are a beautiful woman. Lots of love, Kathleen

  3. maya Says:
    March 3rd, 2014 at 4:14 pm

    Your body will change back, you will see. Maybe not the same like it was before pregnancies. But you are not the same woman you was before. You are a mother now! A proud mother of two! A part of you has changed forever and so your body has like every mothers bodies have no matter if we can see it. Your belly will get smaller, don’t forget you are just three weeks postpartum! Your shape looks very womenly too me. And your brest doesn’t look saggy to me in this bra (belive me it does not support anything). They are so beautiful like the rest of you.

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