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Trying to Cope With My Shape as a New Mother (Revae)

June 1, 2009

Trying to cope with my shape as a new mother!!!!!Please help!!!

My name is Revae and Im 22 yrs old first time mom. I am currently 14 weeks postpartum, and Im having a really hard time coming to terms with my new body. I had my beautiful little angel Jan 18 2009 and I love being a mommy. Ok here goes nothing, my pre pregnancy weight was 170 and I am 5’9, I got up to 225 when I was pregnant alot of the weight just fell off and Im now 183lbs and I love the way my new size 16 jeans look on. But when Im naked I feel disgusted with my apperance, My husband says he likes my new look and that he thinks that’s the way a mother is supposed to look. But I just feel so unsexy when we make love ya know all the jiggly jello just makes me uncomfortable PLEASE HELP ME COME TO TERMS WITH MY NEW LOOK I NEED THE SOME ADVICE AND NEW MOMMY FRIENDS!!!!

1st pic 8 months preggo
2nd pic Me
3rd pic 14 weeks postpartum
4th pic 14 weeks postpartum
5th pic 14 weeks postpartum
6th pic 14 weeks postpartum
7th pic 14 weeks postpartum
8th pic 14 weeks postpartum
9th pic C- Section scar

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20 Responses to “Trying to Cope With My Shape as a New Mother (Revae)”

  1. shannon Says:
    June 1st, 2009 at 10:11 am

    you are my body double…except taller and tanner. i am 7 weeks pp right now, almost 23, 2 cesareans…i started out my 1st pregnancy at 110 lbs (5’2″) ended at 155. i got down to 120…then got pregnant again 21 months pp, got up to 177, and now 7 weeks pp am 145. it is your first c-section, you will lose it…it takes time though, c-sections are hard. you are beautiful! enjoy your baby…you can find me in “child loss” unfortunately, under “missing my baby boy, and expecting my second”, i have a new post that should be going u soon with these pp pictures.

  2. Angèle Says:
    June 1st, 2009 at 10:22 am

    (((((HUGS))))))
    First of all you are ONLY 14 weeks PP!! you have to give it time hun, I know it sucks but it took you 9 months to gain this weight, please allow a minimum of 9 months for your body to try to get back to what it was. Everbody’s body changes with pregnancy, some minimal and some extreme! Please know that you are beautiful and believe your husband when he tells you! He sees you in a new light now, a mother and a warrior! You gave birth to a baby!! Please know that your body will continue to change every single day! Keep taking pics of your progress so that you can refer back to them!!

    Congrats and PS: I’d love to have an ass like yours ;)

    les3elles@live.ca

  3. kristen Says:
    June 1st, 2009 at 11:44 am

    love the curves! TRUST WHEN UR MAN SAYS HELOVES IT TOO

  4. Miranda Says:
    June 1st, 2009 at 1:07 pm

    Hey!!! I think for 14 weeks PP you look beautiful! Remember that, its only been 14 weeks.

    I am almost 2 years PP and starting all over again as I am over halfway to my next due date :) I am excited to begin the new journey but nervous as to how my body will look.

    How am I dealing with it??? I am looking at my other qualities…I love to laugh, I am becoming a doula, I can make a Mei Tai baby carrier which everyone thinks I bought, I keep a clean house, I love my daughter and little Gremlin (lol the baby) and am bringing my husbands children into the world.

    Bringing children into the world is no easy task for our body. Let nature takes its course, do all the things you’re supposed to (eat right & exercise) and be proud of what you have.

    I hope that helps a little. Good luck! Enjoy you’re little one while’s he’s still young (or she).

  5. mea Says:
    June 1st, 2009 at 1:22 pm

    Revae, congrats on a successful birth and also on your weight loss success thus far. please don’t be discouraged but rather turn that emotion into the kinda steam that you’ll need to reshape your physical(and emotional) being. You definitely have to have a plan with everything from meal planning(not dieting) and some kind of strength and conditioning(20-30 minutes 3x/wk) that you can be consistent with. I would love to help you out with it in anyway I can. By the way your husband is absolutely correct, you are a beautiful mother.

  6. I-dra Says:
    June 1st, 2009 at 1:39 pm

    are you still trying to wear your old clothes? that was my downfall. i am still, 2 1/2 years later, 30 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight. one thing i found helpful was to learn my new size & begin shopping for clothing that fits me & also flatters my new figure. i also ditched the underwear a long time ago because i find it digs into my hips, creating unsightly lumps & bumps. i wear a lot of long skirts that leave a little something to the imagination & i like loose, flowing tops that don’t adhere to my body. don’t be afraid to dress for your size! i found it really difficult to come to terms with being a L/XL after being a petite S/M my entire life, but once i started being honest with myself, i felt better & more confident. and remember, you are only 14 weeks out, and the saying is “9 months on, 9 months off”. you have a ways to go yet. breastfeeding helps most women shed the pounds, and of course that’s only one the many benefits. as for jiggling during sex, i hear ya! i prefer to make love with a tank on, in a dark room. if i don’t feel watched, i can let go & enjoy it a little easier. keep up the good work, mama & congratulations on your sweet blessing!

  7. Kitty Says:
    June 1st, 2009 at 3:32 pm

    Hey Revae!
    Your body actually looks like mine did not long after I had my babies. (I have two, not twins! haha) I am also a size 16 and am OK with it. My belly did shrink a lot over the first several months. You look great! You are gorgeous.

    It does take some time to get a bit of yourself back, it’s OK. You just spent 9 months to get to this point. Just take care of yourself and know what this awesome body has created. It is awesome!

  8. Judith Says:
    June 1st, 2009 at 3:44 pm

    I have kids probably older than you so take it from me – 14 weeks is nothing. It takes a year at least, esepcially after cesar. Your stretch marks will fade to fine silver lines and once you can exercise more you can strengthen your tummy muscles. Send us a pic in another few months and see the difference. Once your doctor says you can go to a pilates class. Wonderful for tummy muscles and core strength. You have a lovely slender waist still and a wonderful smile – look at the positive first.

  9. Judith Says:
    June 1st, 2009 at 3:45 pm

    ps – and the butt looks great!

  10. Cierra Says:
    June 1st, 2009 at 5:06 pm

    Honestly, you’ll never go 100% back to the way you were before. But that doesn’t mean you won’t look great once you give your body a chance to heal!

    I felt the same way you do now, and I’m almost 14months pp and still have troubles with my body, but its constantly changing.

    Yeah thats right, my skin “flap” my stretch marks even my scar has completely gone down. Not all the way and I think I might always have just a bit of that overhang. So maybe no bikinis for me, but my body is still healing! It’s hard never knowing for certain what will come. But sometimes it just takes a really long time for our bodies to go back.

    Best of luck to you mommy, you do look wonderful. Keep your chin up.
    Cierra

  11. kay Says:
    June 1st, 2009 at 7:26 pm

    u are very pretty and love ur haircut too :) Listen ur only 14 weeks PP…give yourself time to heal. Yeah, it’s good your husband loves the new look – but really it’s about how you feel, and if you’re not comfortable just take your time and start doing stuff. Walks in the evening with baby and hubby are an easy and pleasant way to tone up. :)

  12. Chrismar Says:
    June 3rd, 2009 at 6:58 pm

    You look good woman! I gave birth January 15th of 2009, went up to 236 now i’m hovering between 194-198.I wish I weighed as much as you! Remember what you don’t like about yourself some people wish for, so just celebrate and cherish your body for now, because it’s soon going to change for the better slowly but surely. You’re beautiful plus you have a great bum! oh If you need support or advice there is this awesome website called fatsecret, join and look me up. my member screen name is brownpolkadots.

  13. Christie Says:
    June 4th, 2009 at 3:48 am

    You look spot on for so soon after bringing a gorgeous baby into the world hon! Your belly will shrink a lot more as time goes on. I thought I would be ‘back to normal’ after 9months, but I even found that to be unrealistic after my own experience and talking to others. I am 11months PP and 8kgs/18pounds over my pre preg weight, but I hope to lose 3kgs/7pounds and I would be happy with that.

  14. Kelly Says:
    June 4th, 2009 at 5:39 pm

    Aww…and that precious little face right there was worth it all…

  15. Tinia Says:
    June 21st, 2009 at 9:43 am

    You will be shocked how much, by 1 year post partum, different you will look. It just takes time. How you look now is no indication on how you will look given time. I was so shocked after my first son as to how long recovering took! 14 weeks isn’t nearly enough time, and it is no indication of how you will look in 9 months.

  16. Heather Says:
    August 13th, 2009 at 2:47 pm

    ya, you will deffinetly tighten up and the stretch marks will deffiently fade…

  17. Steph Says:
    September 15th, 2009 at 11:03 pm

    Don’t worry, 14 weeks is still pretty early after having the baby. It took me a looong time to lose the weight an for the stretch marks to fade. I still have the stretch marks and wrinkly skin, but at least they aren;t bright purple anymore. Just be patient and stay focused and things will get better!

  18. Hilary Says:
    September 18th, 2009 at 5:08 pm

    Your stats are exactly what mine are (I’m 16 weeks post partum now and 23 years old)! And my body looks the EXACT same way (butt and all). I’m relieved to find your post because all I can find to compare are women that seem to “bounce back” 4 weeks after giving birth. I mean have you seen the picture they just took of Nicole Richie one week after giving birth?? SICK! Annyway, thank you for posting this because it makes me feel not so alone in the challenge to get back to some kind of normalcy body-wise. I wasn’t at all prepared for the changes our bodies go through AFTER pregnancy. I’m glad that more women are coming out and showing what most average women look like after childbirth!

  19. » Blog Archive » TheShapeOfaMother.com Says:
    October 23rd, 2009 at 6:41 pm

    [...] “When Im naked I feel disgusted with my appearance, My husband says he likes my new look and that he thinks that’s the way a mother is supposed to look. But I just feel so unsexy.” [3 NSFW] [...]

  20. MJ Says:
    November 7th, 2009 at 9:13 pm

    I think you need to cut yourself some slack. I didn’t get down to my pre-pregnancy weight til about 5 months pp & that was mostly due to lots of exercise the last couple months. I hear you on the not feeling sexy thing though. I fit back into most of my old jeans but I still have a little bit of gush on my tummy, lots of stretch marks & saggy boobs so love making is a bit embarassing for me. My husband still wants me all the time and tell sme I’m beautiful and that helps but I agree you have to have the self confidence as well. Don’t worry, you will get there. It takes awhile to adjust but know that there are people who understand and are going thru the same thing.

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