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Trying Really Hard to Accept My Body (Anonymous)

December 22, 2008

I haven’t felt anywhere near beautiful since I had my son almost 4 months ago. I was never planning on having kids right now, and my boyfriend and I were really surprised 2 days after last Thanksgiving. He was upset and didn’t want to have the baby, but I could never imagine getting rid of a life that never even began. I don’t regret a thing and I love my son more than anything in the world. However I am very unhappy with myself. Before I was pregnant I was 5’4 and 115 lbs..I shot up to 169 and delivered a 8lbs 6 oz 21 1/2 inch baby boy via c-section after being in labor for almost 3 days. I’m having a tough time accepting my body. It’s even harder when I have a mother who makes comments such as “Wow, you must be eating well, you looked like you’ve gained more weight”. I’m terribly uncomfortable with my stomach and this new found muffin top, mommy’s apron, and stretch marks I have. My thighs are even covered in deep stretch marks. I’ll never wear shorts or a bikini again. I even got the stretch marks on my arms! Every time I go out I try to cover my stomach as much as possible. I hate how much it bulges out when I sit down. All my tattoos are ruined as well. I sometimes think I might need some kind of therapy, because no matter how many people tell me I look okay, I don’t think so at all…I feel so horrible :( Before I was pregnant I was a model and was very into how I looked. Perhaps this might be my payback for being a tad bit vain. At one point I would cry almost every day over my body. I try to tell myself its a badge of honor and so on, but it doesn’t work. I have a lot of respect for the moms out there who do accept their bodies.






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17 Responses to “Trying Really Hard to Accept My Body (Anonymous)”

  1. Anna Says:
    December 22nd, 2008 at 10:23 am

    Just give it time.. it’s unrealistic to expect to see a large difference right after you give birth. I went from 125 lbs to like 236 lbs on teh day I delivered.. and Now I’ve gone all the way back down to 125, I think breastfeeing helped. Didn’t like my skin sagging so went back to 140. I didn’t even notice most of my weight loss until at least the 4th month, and by the time my kid was a year old, all the weight was gone. You have to remember your uterus takes time to go back down, and it’s completley normal. Stretch marks fade intensly. Trust me you have gorgeous skin, and you look great now, and your going to look amazing! I wouldn’t even be worrying right now. It’s hgard to adjust, but your body went though alot of changes to have a baby, it’ll go through even more.

  2. michelle Says:
    December 22nd, 2008 at 11:18 am

    i know exactly how you feel. my daughter just turned one, and I’m just starting to feel somewhat okay. If it’s only been four months, your body is still recovering and your stretchmarks will look better with time, your skin will shrink back better with time. i heard once it takes four years to fully recover from the trauma of giving birth to another human being. give your body time to heal. hang in there!

  3. kristen Says:
    December 22nd, 2008 at 11:19 am

    u have a perfect hourglass figure! Im jealous!

  4. Sara Says:
    December 22nd, 2008 at 11:22 am

    Give yourself time. It’s only been a few months, and it took your body nine months to create that little life. It needs time to repair itself. The body will never be exactly as it was before, but it will get better than the way you see it now. Enjoy your beautiful baby, and know that you are and will always be the most beautiful woman in the world in his eyes.

  5. tee Says:
    December 22nd, 2008 at 11:23 am

    I know its very upsetting when in our mind we don’t bounce back quite like we imagined. But if its any consolation I think u look beautiful for 4 months pp. Give your body sometime at least a year to recover from the miraculous task it has just performed. And as for the comments of your mother let em go in one ear and out the other. You are strong and I commend you on keeping your lil one, I’m sure u are finding it was well worth it.

  6. I-dra Says:
    December 22nd, 2008 at 2:16 pm

    oh mama, i know it’s so different from what you’re used to. while you may never again look exactly the way you did, your body will eventually settle into a new form of beautiful. remember, you’re still healing inside! can i just tell you that i really like the way you’re shaped; your belly is smooth, soft & inviting for little heads to slumber on. also, i happen to be a fan of stretchmarks & yours are just so pretty. you have a nice, defined waist & your tattoos have survived the pregnancy well!

  7. MilkMama Says:
    December 22nd, 2008 at 9:21 pm

    You look great! You are ONLY 4 months postpartum! Nobody “bounces back”! It took me over a year and a half to feel like I’d finally “bounced back”. Don’t put pressure on yourself. Love your body for what it has done and everything else will fall into place! Congratulations on your NEW baby! ;)

  8. Bella Says:
    December 23rd, 2008 at 2:22 am

    You look beautiful! your mothers comment`s sounds stupid – don`t let them bring you down. Tell her you don`t like her commenting on your look.

    HUG.

  9. Humble Woodcutter Says:
    December 24th, 2008 at 5:50 pm

    Oh yeah, don’t even worry yet. Four months is nothing. You look so good for four months, after a few years you likely won’t even look like you’ve been pregnant! I agree with the four years comment, especially if you breastfeed, which actually seemed to prevent me from losing the pregnancy pounds or recovering. Once they were weaned I started to snap back more quickly.

  10. magali Says:
    January 4th, 2009 at 1:40 am

    wow i’m looking at your body and is as i was looking mine the only diferent is that i have 5 kids lol dont be so ard in yourself mama you re beautiful

  11. Vickie Says:
    January 7th, 2009 at 2:28 am

    I just had my 4th child 4 months ago at the age of 39. I had 4 c-sections and that lower stomach fat I do not think will ever go away. After I get to my ideal weight I am seriously considering a tummy tuck. I do not see anything wrong with corrective surgery if you have tried everything else. And now that I am through having children I am working hard at working out. My goal is to loose about 150lbs. before I had children I was very active and worked out all the time and my stomach was tight and cut. And I think it is due to the damaged muscle as to why my stomach will not pop back.

  12. Erica Says:
    January 12th, 2009 at 11:40 am

    I know how you feel. Before my pregnancy I weighed 115 pounds reached 172 pounds before I gave birth. About three months after giving birth I was watching T.V. and I saw Melissa Ford in a bikini and I cried. I cried because my body use to look exaclty like that and I knew it would never be the same. I also was some what vain too because I absolutely loved my hour glass figure before pregnancy. Unforutanely, so much of my identity was tied up in how I looked. My daughter is now seven and I have my hour glass figure back (it only took a year), I still have stretch marks and my boobs aren’t perky anymore. But I look fabulous and so do you! Give yourself time for your body to bounce back (trust me it will).

  13. Aimee Says:
    January 12th, 2009 at 2:18 pm

    Hi…when i had my kid my body did not go back to itself for almost a year, i am five ten and at my heaviest i was about 150 (at 9 months)….after i had my kid, i lost abut 15 pounds right away and then went to about 125 3 months later..however i was NOT comfy with my body, only now 4 years later i will wear a bikini and actually like my belly! took me 4 years…

  14. Judy Says:
    January 14th, 2009 at 11:25 pm

    I’m so sorry that your Mom has made the comment about your weight. I also feel it may be harder for you (and others) who looked very good pre-pregnancy.
    I was reading once about Heidi Klum, and she commented that people come up to her and ask her “Will I look as good as you after kids” and she would ask them “What did you look like before kids”?
    I have always been a bit overweight (but very into sports and athletics) so although I felt self-conscious of the way I looked I decided to put it to the side for the first 6 months…other than trying to eat healthy and get out for walks.
    After 2 years of not really trying (besides going to the gym a bit for a few months) I was back to pre-pregnancy weight, although not is as good of shape since it is harder to make time for yourself!
    I feel for you – realize that the first year is hard adjustments, don’t try to do everything at once, it will be overwhelming. Focus on being a new mom right now, the rest will follow.

  15. Melissa Says:
    January 20th, 2009 at 3:36 pm

    Oh mama, I know how you feel. I was always very judgemental and a tad too vain myself. I have cried myself to sleep many nights. I now have 3 perfect children and have to remind myself that healthy children are worth all the extra fluff and stripes. I too have a ruined tattoo, can not wear shorts, and have arms w/ stretch marks that have slowly started to fade. It will get easier, give that baby lots of hugs and kisses :)

  16. Tiffany Says:
    May 25th, 2009 at 4:07 am

    I know how you feel! I am 22 years old and have had two children via c section. My oldest is 4 and youngest is going on 3. I hate my body. I feel disguested with MYSELF. I wont even date and that kills me. I am to afraid he might try to rub my belly or touch my breats … they sagg worst then a 80 year old woman! :( most ppl dont even know how my body looks and i try to keep it as hidden as possible. When I go out with my GF’s I feel low as is watch them look so stunning with their beautiful bodies :( This has put me into a depression state where I just feel low, disgusting and unattractive.

  17. IM JuSt Like YOU Says:
    August 22nd, 2009 at 7:20 pm

    GirL you GoNe Be JusT FiNe ReaL MeN gOne LoVe U the Same
    Only lil Boyz and Men who dnt get none would have a Problem
    As for yourself use cocoa butter black soap shea butter everything it works I have a 9&7 year old and I’m 25 over time they will fade yours aren’t that bad actually sum woman have it really bad ur not 1 a lil secret 2 lighten them take ahot shower put reall cocoa butter all over ur stomach and butt the cocoa butter that looks like grease the thick kind buy next summer they will be light…. trust me

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