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Tranquilmama

July 15, 2006

Thank you mamas for being so willing to share!!! Your frankness and honesty is helping me come to turns with my changed body. I was 22 when I got pregnant for the first time. Six months after getting married. Never really thought my body was much to look at but it seemed like I was just beginning to come to terms with it and like myself. I really think that one of the main reasons I had such bad ppd after my first was because the way my body changed shocked me. Stretch marks began to appear on my breasts in the second trimester. And the kept getting bigger and bigger and of course sagging lower and lower. Not only that but my beautiful naturally curly hair started growing out straight in my third trimester. By the time by baby was 5 months old I had 4 inches of straight roots and about 10 inches of curly ends. I gained just short of 80 pounds and the stretch marks that started as little red marks under my belly slowly grew to angry red streaks up my belly around my hips, down my buttcrack, on my inner thighs and calves. This is how it started (1st pg, 37 wks):

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compared with what it looked like at 35 wks, second pg:
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The weight mostly came off and I got down to a size 6 before getting pregnant again a year later. But the skin never shrank back. I can’t tell you how many times I got my belly zipped up into my jeans (so I started wearing buttonfly). It really hurt when some of my girlfriends would try to say that I didn’t take care of my skin properly during pregnancy or that if I had tighter abs pre pregnancy that my stomach never would have had to stretch that far. Or when my husbands friends would joke around that I “really let myself go” after getting married. Between my boob flaps, my belly pudge and my hair that just wouldn’t do ANYTHING I was a completely different person on the outside and I felt like I had stepped into a new body. It wasn’t so much about looks as it was about how I felt… akward and ashamed.
My tummy was never “flat” and I never had washboard abs pre getting this mama body but I felt pretty and sexy.

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Here’s what I look like 1 day postpartum.
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I look at this picture and to this day just feel akward. It’s beautiful and awesome what our bodies do and even what they look like but for some reason I still can’t get over how akward I feel until I lose most of the weight I gained during pregnancy. Here’s what my belly looks like now, 8 months post second pregnancy. I just realized that these pictures I took are the only ones of my belly, in all it’s glory…

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Somehow it’s immensely freeing to share these photos. It’s somehow making it okay for me to look how I do.
~Thanks for reading~

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10 Responses to “Tranquilmama”

  1. Stacey Says:
    July 15th, 2006 at 11:19 pm

    That black and white, 1 day postpartum shot is so beautiful!

  2. Anonymous Says:
    July 16th, 2006 at 9:42 am

    Thank you so much for posting these pics!! My belly looks almost identical!! 4 kids later! :D You are beautiful, mama!!! I love to see the side shot as well!Namaste~A.

  3. Special Red Says:
    July 16th, 2006 at 11:51 am

    I am IN LOVE with your B&W 1 day PP photo… I want one! That is a GORGEOUS photo of mother and child… simply beautiful!

  4. Donovan Says:
    July 17th, 2006 at 2:30 pm

    (Actually, this is Donovan’s Mom) The black and white of you and your new son is so beautiful! It took my breath away.I remember being surprised how much I loved the fact that my post-preggo belly still reached out to lie against my baby while I nursed him. Thank you so much for sharing.

  5. Anonymous Says:
    July 18th, 2006 at 11:04 pm

    The B&W photo is simply beautiful.

  6. Anonymous Says:
    July 19th, 2006 at 1:54 pm

    That photo of you and your son nursing is beautiful!! Thank you for your story.

  7. Anonymous Says:
    July 19th, 2006 at 6:39 pm

    Thank you for sharing your story and photos. Your B&W postpartum photo is so beautiful.

  8. kaidasatome Says:
    November 17th, 2007 at 12:20 am

    the 1day postpartum picture is more beautiful than anything i’ve ever seen. there is nothing, NOTHING more beautiful than the bond between mother and child. no matter what your body looks like, even if you don’t like it, it’s how emotionally powerful that picture is. i can’t wait to have children.

  9. Jackie Says:
    February 19th, 2008 at 6:33 pm

    …i have those leopard print pants, too! :) they look good on you, mama!

  10. Ashley Says:
    March 31st, 2008 at 8:39 am

    About your husband’s friends…only time can reveal their folishness. When they are old and fat and all the “perfect” women they try and check out look at them with disgust, all they will have is their shallow opinions while YOU on the other hand, will have contributed to this world by raising beautiful, wonderful people. Dont ever think twice about your body…flaunt it and love it…we all do!

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