I caught a glimpse of this video on some show last night (honestly I don’t even know which one – the husband was flipping channels and I made him stop so I could see this) and went straight to MomLogic.com to see the whole thing. It’s a commentary on plastic surgery and, perhaps, a plea that we as a culture take a step back and really LOOK at ourselves and our obsession with fixing what’s not broken.
The video is quite funny, but really brings home the message that we are being a bit ridiculous about changing our appearances – from nose jobs (I was SO SAD when Ashlee Simpson got a boring nose) to bellies, are we sending the wrong message to our daughters (and sons and to each other)?
Truly, I do not judge another woman’s choice, for I have not walked in her shoes. And I also want to make it clear that all mamas are welcome here, regardless of your opinion on this subject. But I feel that – in general – we are just applying band-aids to this problem of self-esteem our culture has created within us. I believe the only real way to heal ourselves is to learn to love (or at least not hate) bodies in all the shapes they come in. Once our stomachs are “fixed” what part will we hate next? We have to fight for our diversity!
I have a fantastically ugly belly by society’s standards, but I flat-out refuse to feel that way about it. I am determined to love my belly no matter how hard it is. And I will do that for myself and for my daughter and for anyone else who is inspired by the act. What are you determined to love? And who do you do it for?
Oh, that video was funny for a few seconds. Then it became really, really frightening.
That is so wrong…. I hope that little girl doesnt actually believe anything that was said during that consultation!
That was my biggest concern, too. I assume they will balance that in her life somehow. I hope.
I understand the point.. I just got a little touchy..i am planning on getting a tummy tuck, and yes i have 2 daughters and have thought about how this can and will affect them… I just dont feel as though just because I fix something that feels foreign to me on my own body means I will then pass my «hatred» on to another body part…
Just my opinion..
That wasn’t real…was it?!
It’s very much fake!
I’m trying accept my belly the way it is now, but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to accept these wrinkles. I feel young, and I am. I’m 22. But I don’t feel attractive in my clothes anymore because of the extra skin. I don’t think that everyone NEEDS plastic surgery but if it can help me feel more comfortable I would totally do it if I had money. I feel like being confident sets a good example for your child. Unfortunatly I can’t fake it. So surgery seems like a good alternative for me.
I praise all those out there who have confidence in themselves with whatever changes they may have incurred from pregnancy. More power to you and I can only dream of having that sort of confidence. That’s real. <3
I had breast reduction surgery after giving birth. I went from a 34F/G to a 34C. I cannot even BEGIN to tell you how much better I feel.
My insurance company paid for the surgery as it was deemed medically necessary. I had grooves in my shoulders and back and neck pain. Although technically it was a cosmetic surgery – I could have survived with huge breasts – my self esteem has gone up about 10,000 notches. I can jog, run, do jumping jacks, ride my horse, and I don’t deal with people staring at me anymore.
I am so much happier. I didn’t realize how much I disliked my breasts until they were down to a regular size. I look in the mirror and… I match. I get dressed and I feel so much prettier. When I’m intimate with my husband, I feel so much sexier. I can’t believe how much better I feel and I’d much rather go through a few days of surgical recovery than 15 years of my son hearing me or seeing me feeling down about myself.
I am not saying that plastic surgery is the right choice for everyone, and I totally agree that a lot of people take it way, way, WAY overboard. But I don’t think it is necessarily a terrible thing that should be avoided at all costs. In some situations it can make a significant change in how a person views him or herself, and can allow them the freedom to do things that they were forced to avoid previously.
It’s a judgement call and something that warrants a lot of thought and consideration. Everybody is different and for some surgery is a good option – for others, it’s not.
This is great comedy, but exactly shows where it could end. Plastic surgeons are always on the lookout for new markets and business, they already have men and women of all ages as their clients and the next logical step would be targetting kids. Its somehow frightening as this could be closer to reality than you might think.
Getting plastic surgery is a personal decision. I want surgery on my boobs and tummy…my boobs grow every time I gain weight but don’t go down when i lose…so now I have bad migrains when I wear my bra so I really haven’t worn one in a long time. The last one I bought was a 36g and my boobs got bigger with my last pregnancy, so I really need a bigger one now. It is just too painful to wear them so I don’t.
My tummy is a similar problem. Between my son and my daughter I have a hanging belly. While I can lose some weight, I would still have all this sagging skin and it is uncomfortable for me to wear anything that doesn’t have elastic as I either have to wear over my roll or under it…and both ways are not comfy at all.
Getting your nose done because you never really liked your nose is one thing. Getting a boob job on a 16 yr old is something else too…but sometimes we get things done for comfort reasons, not just for our looks.
With that said I do think the business is going a little over board. Instead of trying to give their kids a good self esteem and trying to fight against the “beauty machine”, people just think there is a quick fix…when there isn’t. Beauty is subjective and it isn’t until we do our best the break that notion that you have to look like a 14year old boy to be beautiful it will always be like this, and I won’t doubt there are some that would get their toddlers plastic surgery if they thought they could…all for beauty reasons.
I appreciate all your posts. Again, I really cannot possibly judge a person for making these decisions. I may or may not make the same one if I were to live in your shoes, but it doesn’t matter what I think – it matters what YOU think. I am speaking here on a global level, not an individual one – and globally this is a problem. You, as an individual may be making exactly the right choice. But I have a hard time believing that 100% of the plastic surgery going on in our culture is worthy.
You mamas are wise people, I know you will make the right choice for you. But let’s keep fighting for *us* while we do it, OK?
Peace
I think this is a wonderful post. Every time I start to despair at the thouht of a “need” to save enough for a tummy tuck your strength and brilliance reassures me that’s it’s OK to love my flesh apron. :)
For me, I’m determined to love my chubby knees, my asymmetrical teeth and my small breasts (I actually LOVE my breasts!!!! Size 34AA!)
This video is hilarious and the serious commentary even funnier.
The cesarean I had to deliver my baby was my first and only surgery, and despite the ravages of pregnancy and breastfeeding on my body, I will not elect to be cut on again. I think it such a strange and magical dichotomy that the very best things I have ever done with my body (pregnancy and breastfeeding) have altered it beyond recognition. I have to believe there is some blessing in this… such as a diminishing of my ego and a forced/daily reminder, that I am not my body and it won’t be coming with me in the end.
When I can afford to I am going to get a tummy tuck to repair my stomach after four children. It wasn’t an easy conclusion to come to and I struggled for a long time with the idea of it and whether I needed to just be happy with me. I was raised to believe I am “fearfully and wonderfully made” and that God made us all the way we are. Finally I talked to my Dad about it and he said something to me that helped me get over it. He said, “Emily, if you were in a fire and burned would you get skin grafts to fix the burned skin?” Of course I would. So he said, “then fix your damaged skin. You didn’t come with loose skin on your stomach, so consider that you are fixing what was damaged rather than trying to change what you have naturally.” And to me, he’s right. I don’t want to look like everyone else with a fake nose and fake boobs and everything, but I don’t want to hate what I see anymore in the mirror either, so for me, I am considering what I will have done as reconstructive surgery for my stomach rather than cosmetic surgery.
I read an article recently that gave women a reason to love their lower belly fat- it’s rich in stem cells. The fat cells on the lower belly and inner thigh are higher in stem cells than other fat cells in the body. I have seen people who have tummy tucks and look good for 2-3 years then start getting overhangs on the sides or more fat on their backs but have a flat stomach. I don’t think any mother should have to go through that surgery and then have something else to be insecure about. We need to change our beliefs as a society and stop judging our self value on appearance.