~Number of pregnancies and births: 1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 4 years
I’ve only had one child,only one, she may be the most amazing little girl I’ve ever seen but where did I go?
I gained 40 lb.s with her birth and then kept gaining after that. Her father and I split up when she was a year old and then I became a new to school, freshly back to work, single mom at 21! She’s grown and blossomed and become such a beautiful big girl now. I’ve withered and hated myself sooo much for every year she’s loved herself. The depression and the agony just made the over eating worse. So I got the lap band and did really well for awhile,for awhile.
Then the depression came back in and ate me up inside and I kept eating,stopped exercising.
Excuses,excuses,always, what a weakling I am. I cannot look at my naked body in the mirror without crying. I AM SUPPOSED TO BE A 25 YEAR OLD!!
I see older women at work all the time who have paid in the their bodies for their many children and I cry. Why am I at that stage when I am ONLY 25? I have ONLY had one child. I cannot let my boyfriend see me naked with the lights on, I cannot let my daughter see me in the shower. I disgust myself and I’m so tired of hating who I am.