~Number of pregnancies and births: Four Pregnancies, Two Births
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: My oldest turned 3 on Aug 27 and my youngest turned 10 months on Aug 29. So, 10 months.
When I was 18 years old, I found myself pregnant with my first child. My pregnancy was easy, until the heartburn and food sensitivity started in my second trimester. When I was about 30 weeks pregnant, the stretch marks came. Belly, butt, thighs, behind my knees, and I got cellulite on my butt and thighs for the first time in my life. After I had my son, in my opinion, my body was abused and looked disgusting. I ended up with postpartum depression, I wasn’t ready to be a mother. I gave my son up for adoption to a very loving family. I always looked like I was 4 to 5 months pregnant. Although I didn’t know it then, my son had caused my thyroid to crap out. I couldn’t lose weight, and on top of that, I got a severe hormone imbalance. I didn’t know what to do with myself, I felt fat and I had stretch marks everywhere, and I had no baby in my arms. I felt like…people are just going to think I am fat, they wont know that I had a baby. When my son was a year and a half, I got pregnant with my second baby boy. At this time I was more ready for motherhood, and I embraced the body that was growing my little bean. I was so happy to have him in my life. I do feel sad to this day that I did not connect with my oldest son, and hopefully I can make up for it later in life. My youngest was born, and I still looked like I was 4 months pregnant, and still do 10 months later. At 2 months, my baby got a vaccine with egg in it, which he is allergic to. Things went downhill…. Four months of breastfeeding, and my body gave out. My son had severe allergies to nearly everything, and I couldn’t eat enough to feed him. At four months of age, I had to stop breastfeeding and give him special formula. By this time, I was still very heavy, 5’7″ and almost 200 pounds. I didn’t care though, because I had my precious baby. I had a lot of problems with my health and mental health during this time to. There were a few instances where I couldn’t take the crying and screaming, because he was in so much pain, I had to walk out. I felt like a horrible mom. At 6 months of age, he was still miserable, he had eczema all over his body, and cried most of the time. We couldn’t get doctors to do anything for him, so we gave him up for adoption to a family who had all the same allergies that he has, and the money to take him to doctors. It’s been 4 months since the adoption, and my skin is saggy and marked with scars, I’m 60 pounds overweight, but that’s okay. I’m okay with it now, because I grew two beautiful boys in this body, and I love them more than life. I have a tattoo on my chest with my youngest sons foot prints, so although I have imperfections, I have my sweet boy close to my heart at all times and people can see that I do have kids and I am not just fat for no reason.