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Terrible self image, despite healing well. 1st baby. (Anonymous)

1 child, 5 months PP

I am 23 and gave birth to my gorgeous baby girl 5 months ago. I love her more than life itself but have struggled with the effect on my body- softer stomach and saggier boobs :( I was lucky to only get very small stretchmarks underneath my belly button and they are now barely noticeable. My baby girls delivery was natural and the pregnancy was fine although I developed antenatal depression in my 3rd trimester and spent most of the pregnancy worrying excessively about my babies health. I didnt really gain much weight during the pregnancy, I went up a dress size and seemed to retain alot of water, the excess weight seemed to drop off post birth however I feel my posture is utterly horrendous from looking after a baby and carrying one for 9 months and despite recovering well body wise my self image is in tatters, I feel fat and ugly all the time even when done up (this never occured before) and my face has been ravaged by sleep deprivation- I have that ‘mumsy’ look now that tbh I always hated. My boobs seem to have shrunk even though I only breastfed for a few weeks. I feel guilty even feeling bad about myself post birth as many women have it a lot worse than me.. It doesnt help that sometimes my vagina feels ‘numb’ during sex aswell! Nightmare. I enjoy dancing and exercise and am hoping to incorporate it more in order to feel like ‘me’ again and maybe tone up a bit, I am just always so tired and busy these days! I am in a bit of a rush here anyway but just thought I’d post my story. Hugs to everyone going through similar feelings :)

Pics:
1. me when I had the time and energy to put make up on- and a good nights sleep! age 21
2. me age 22 26 weeks pregnant with my baby :)
3. me pre baby age 21
4. 5 months post partum- wouldnt even show my knackered face now!

in Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, PPD – Postpartum Depression, Pregnant, Submissions
4 comments… add one
  • Anna Monday, February 23, 2015, 9:52 pm

    Forgive me, but yours is a perfect body, and a perfect example of distorted body image – something we women so often suffer from, due to hormonal changes, societal pressures and ubiquitous criticism lodged in our minds. Many models don’t look as good as you! I am serious! You attained the unattainable. And yet your suffering is undoubtedly real. Thank you for sharing your feelings on this site, it gave me a lot to think about.

  • tess Tuesday, February 24, 2015, 9:30 am

    you are gorgeous.

    pre pregnacy I had a simalar body to yours (not such nice breast but w.e ;( ) im currently 29weeks pregnant and can olny hope too look as great as your last photo in 7 months.

    stay positive and remeber that your beautiful :)

    your daughter will have you beauty :)

  • Jodie Saturday, March 7, 2015, 8:12 pm

    Im 21. My daughter (first baby) is now 1 years old. I feel that you may have a little bit of ppd (post partum depression). We tend to not think straight if we have ppd (I had it for a little while and I thought that my body was out of whack until I realized I look amazing just like you do). You belly is what most post-baby women die for. Luckily I was able to reduce my weight quickly and now I’m pregnant again, due in august. Your breasts don’t seem to have changed, but you know your body obviously better then I do. I am still breastfeeding my daughter and I never had large breasts to begin with. And now they look like flappy sacks, but as I think about the fact that I nourished my child with my own body, I am pretty darn proud of my flappy sacks! LOL.

    You are looking great and I hope you can see yourself for what you truly are. An amazing, beautifully made woman.

  • Hana Thursday, June 4, 2015, 4:08 pm

    Hey ! Me and you are in the same boat age wise. I’m 23 and also just had a baby. I know how overwhelming it feels especial when you have to do a lot of it alone. Sometimes I try to cheer myself up and wear makeup but then I feel “what’s the point” . It’s hard not feeling like yourself just know that you are not alone :) I’m not trying to give advice or tell you what to do, I just want you to know that you’re not alone

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