Number of Children-1, aged 3
I have a son that I love more than life itself. I always had body issues, despite being petite. I fluctuated between 100-110 lbs all through out high school. I was very self conscious of my boobs. The right one was (and still is) smaller than the left side. My nipples looked “puffy” unless I was cold. But they were a 34C and looked good in cute tops and had mass, if you know what I mean.
I was hopeful when I got pregnant that maybe both boobs would finally look the same and that maybe my nipples would be more erect. I guess I was hoping that having a baby would “fix” them. After breast feeding for six months, I quickly learned that having a baby wasn’t going to make them look any better. They shrunk and shrunk and shrunk, and what I was left with was the skin of 34D breasts without the volume. They sag big time now. My nipples are back to being sort of puffy when I’m warm, only getting erect when I’m cold.
I have the option to get breast augmentation. It’s something my husband and I have talked about a lot. He doesn’t care whether I do it or not. He’s concerned that it won’t actually solve the issue.
I don’t even know why it bothers me so much. I am thankful that I was able to nurse for six months. The boobs served their purpose and nourished my child. But I feel self conscious when my husband touches them. I know he still enjoys touching them but to me, they’ve lost their sensual qualities and I’d rather he touch me somewhere else, anywhere else, but not my boobs.
I can’t decide what to do. We aren’t going to have more children, so it’s not like I have to worry about future breastfeeding being affected. I’m trying to ignore society’s idea of what breasts should look like and really look into my heart over this decision.
It’s been really hard on me, and I’ve struggled with it for a while. I want to look more like the 17 year old me, because she really had it good. She was fun and carefree with hardly any responsibilities. Now I look at myself naked and I match how I feel. Tired, stressed, aging. There’s never enough time to do what I wish I could do for myself and it’s depressing.
If I got the surgery, it would be modest. I would like to a 34C again and just have mass and volume in my breasts again. I’m not interested in having boobs that don’t even move because they’re so overdone. I know I should be looking at the bigger picture, how it’s not going to matter in the slightest when I’m 80… but could I have more confidence now? How great would it be if I could pull off my shirt in front of my husband and let him touch them, and enjoy it, instead of sneaking around trying to cover up when I’m changing or getting out of the shower?
I’d love to hear your thoughts. I am really on the fence about it right now. Thank you for reading my story!
First pic is me warm and hunched over.
Second pic is me cold and standing up.