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Struggling With My Stomach! (Amy)

February 3, 2014

I’ve just found this site after searching for many online like it, I must say it has opened my eyes to see just how many other women have issues about their post birth bodies.

I am 18 years old, I had my son at 17 years old via emergency c section. I weighed 8st 9lb when I got pregnant and by the end of pregnancy had put on 49lbs (3 1/2st). He is 13 months old now, and I feel for this amount of time my stomach should look better than it does now, I still look pregnant. Obviously I knew my body would change however I wasn’t prepared for the battering that this would take on my confidence and my relationship. My body in the least selfish way possible affects many areas of my life. The appearance is the usual, stretch marks and stuck out belly, however having diastasis recti to quite a bad degree it has left my belly button caved in and this awful wrinkling above and below the belly button. As I say I still look pregnant just relaxing however when I contract tummy muscles in (doesn’t hurt at all) I look slim again (just creates more wrinkling) but with clothes on you obviously can’t see this so that’s how I walk round all of the time pulling in my muscles. It’s a shame I think I have to do this. Don’t know if anybody can relate ? If there’s hope?

I do want surgery however I am young and want another child in 4 years + time, so I didn’t want to pay for surgery and then get pregnant and something happen to need it again. It’s just living with it day to day in the mean time.

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14 Responses to “Struggling With My Stomach! (Amy)”

  1. Natalie Says:
    February 3rd, 2014 at 10:03 am

    I feel ya. My tummy looks like that and I’m having a hard time accepting it as well.
    There are things you can do, to repair the diastasis, but for the skin, you will just have to let it heal over time.
    Hang in there. You’re beautiful.
    Here is a site that offers help for diastasis recti:
    http://www.diastasisrehab.com/

  2. Amy Says:
    February 3rd, 2014 at 12:31 pm

    My son is 18 months and I still have the belly too. Like you when I suck it in, it’s gone. I lost all the pregnancy weight but I can’t get my belly to shrink. When I had my first son my belly shrunk right down so I figured it would this time as well….nope. I’m having a hard time with clothes too. Nothing I own looks right anymore. So I’m going to try some different styles and try to embrace my new shape. We deserve it…we created something beautiful!

  3. Kat Says:
    February 3rd, 2014 at 4:30 pm

    I feel for you because my tummy is similar. I have tried various physio programs to heal my diastasis with no luck.. but I’ve decided to have it surgically repaired this year, as its really bothering me and It makes me a bit more comfortable than having a tummy tuck. Im hoping once the muscles are repaired, I will be able to get back into regular exercise again and hopefully that will tighten up the skin some. Good luck. :)

  4. Jason Says:
    February 3rd, 2014 at 5:37 pm

    Amy,

    from a male perspective (albeit not always the stereotypical male perspective), I think that you look wonderful, and consider you very beautiful and sexy. Not sexy-for-a-c-section-mother, but sexy-for-the-world. I’m sorry that your relationship may have suffered, but don’t let your confidence suffer. You are a beautiful woman, and a mother on top of that. Stay sexy :)

  5. Kendall Says:
    February 3rd, 2014 at 9:57 pm

    My son is six now (I also gave birth at 17!) and your belly looks almost the same as mine did. (I think I had a little more extra sag than you do) I was 149 pounds when I went for my first prenatal appointment, and gained 48 by the last week of my pregnancy. Over the last few years I’ve gone up and down between 160s-180s; I’m on the higher end of that range right now but lately I’m feeling pretty good about myself. The skin will get better. It’s all a healing process, like Natalie said. You are beautiful. You are a goddess. You made life.

  6. Mary Says:
    February 4th, 2014 at 4:32 am

    Amy,

    I had my first child at age 40 and he weighed over 10 lbs. My second child weighed over 8 lbs. and I was 42. I was never overweight; I jut had big boys. Afterwards, my stomach muscles were separated by about 6 inches and there was nothing I could do to help the situation. After carefully considering everything, and knowing I would not have another child, I had a tummy tuck. It was the best money I ever spent. Just know that one day that option is available, and there is no shame in doing something to make yourself feel better. Hey, you’ve brought human beings into this world! You deserve to feel good about your body!

  7. shakti Says:
    February 5th, 2014 at 6:09 pm

    your 18 and 13 months postpartum. you have youth on your side. if you want to have a fit body, eat well (eliminate processed foods to start) and exercise. these two things are often underestimated but really can do wonders. proper nutrition can improve skin elasticity, stretch marks etc. and exercise can correct diastasis, i know i had two large babies!

    I personally wouldn’t explore surgical options unless I exhausted all else and I couldn’t bring myself to come to terms with it. but i encourage you to do so. love your body it was your son’s home once and I am sure he still finds so much comfort in it still. give yourself time to heal but also care for yourself, it will show!

  8. shakti Says:
    February 5th, 2014 at 6:11 pm

    also, if you feel sexy people will sense this. your man will sense this. confidence goes a long way!!

  9. Candace Says:
    February 5th, 2014 at 7:40 pm

    Amy, surgery is not the only answer. With some time and effort, you can strengthen your tummy muscles, which will help you trim your waist line. Check out fit2b.us. It was a life saver for me after having 2 babies 16 months apart. My muscles were a wreck! Yes, the skin still looks saggy, but I have gone back to pre-pregnancy weight and clothes, thanks to the appropriate exercise. Wishing you all the best!

  10. Amy Says:
    February 7th, 2014 at 11:47 am

    Thank you everyone for the support and lovely honest open comments.

    I am now doing regular distasis exercises and eating better, as I want another baby or more I (like the above comments say) am going to do all other options first and embrace myself more. Which even just hearing people’s comments have made me do already. So glad I posted.

    Such a confidence booster. Thankyou everyone!

  11. Kerry Says:
    February 14th, 2014 at 7:17 am

    I walk around with my abs engaged all the time too, not to look skinnier, but it is healthy to work those muscles! So don’t feel bad about that :) I think your belly is beautiful!

  12. tiffany Says:
    February 17th, 2014 at 7:55 pm

    I gave birth when i was 17 . I hadd a c section . Tha worst experience . But seeing my sons beautiful blue eyes .. nothing mattered anymore . Hes 2 now . My belly is exactly how you descibed your belly button .. i gotta admit ive been thinkin bout when i wanna go to the beach . I dont rock no one piece . ;) alot of times i think about how beautiful my stomach use to look .. .. but if i have to deal with this flapjack just bcus i hadd my little sugaa bear . Its worth it ;)

  13. KT Says:
    March 10th, 2014 at 12:33 am

    I have had 2 emergency c-sects. I’m 34 yrs old. After my 1st my body went back to the way it was and I thought “OK great I’m going to keep my figure” then after the 2nd I have all the same belly trouble as everyone else. My tummy muscles have separated too. I considered surgery but I feel that is me agreeing with the illusion that is already promoted and peddled around – that childbirth doesn’t alter a woman’s body – and I don’t want to be a part of that. I’ve come to feel that the truth of my body is actually more beautiful because it is more real. By the way, I live in Western Australia and swimsuits on the beach is a weekly reality in my life, so it takes courage to live this way. I hope that your body changes so that you are happy with it and if it doesn’t, I hope that you make peace with that and become happy with it just the same. Best of luck :-)

  14. Nikki Says:
    May 22nd, 2014 at 8:17 pm

    I am the mother of a 2 yr old and currently 7 wks pregnant. Like you, I also have diastasis recti, which has left me with a permanent pot belly even after losing all my baby weight. My Dr. told me there is a surgery that can stitch the two vertical columns of the abdomen muscels back together, but it was unwise to do this if one planned on having more children. Aparently this will solve the problem, but even if I “fixed” my belly I would just start to focus on something else that wasn’t perfect. It’s sometimes hard to accept our new bodies after we birth our beautiful children. I struggle with it daily. Just know there’s another mother out there with a belly very similar to yours.

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