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Struggling to Accept My New Body (Anonymous)

I am a 23 year old mother who got pregnant unexpectedly. I was 120 before pregnancy and gained 75 pounds. My baby was 9 pounds 5 ounces and my body will never be the same. I have diastasis recti, and my boobs are uneven and sagging. Although I’ve lost all the pregnancy weight (nursing), my body is definitely much looser than it was before. Trying to get my confidence back by posing in a swimsuit although I’m sure I’ll never wear a bikini in public again :-(:-(

~Age: 23
~Number of pregnancies and births: 2 pregnancies, 1 birth
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 6.5 months postpartum

in Belly, Diastasis Recti, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions

9 comments… add one

  • Tiffany Monday, August 19, 2013, 9:44 am

    I am 22 have a beautiful little almost 3 year old and recently gave birth to an angel and I hate getting dressed because nothing fits right and looks awful. You look great and just remember it gets better. Your a step ahead of me it takes a lot to show everyone and I applaud your bravery

  • Sarah Monday, August 19, 2013, 9:51 am

    You look great. No joke!

  • Jen Monday, August 19, 2013, 10:54 am

    I am not dis counting your feelings, what so ever… BUT… I KNOW the struggle and pain of hating being in your own skin. I had my baby 7 months ago. I am 43 years old!!!!! I couldn’t lose a pound to save my life BEFORE I was pregnant. It’s HARDER for me. I am in my forties! BUT…. You are YOUNG!!! You will bounce back… me? meh, not so much and it is a DEMON I struggle with EVERYDAY. Stop… you are thin and beautiful. I am old, fat, gray and wrinkly. Not much hope for me unless I have a lot of time or a lot of money (I have ZERO of both)… The only thing that keeps me from jumping off a bridge is my beautiful baby boy… all this cellulite was worth it!!!!!!

  • Anna Monday, August 19, 2013, 11:03 am

    Please be kind to yourself. You are very brave to be willing to talk about how you are feeling and to share images of your body.
    It’s hard to accept how our bodies change as we bring children into the world, but change isn’t the end of the world. I remember feeling self conscious about my body after my first baby, but now wish i had that shape instead of the one I do now… regardless of what it looks like to you, it’s important to love on yourself.
    I had to google diastasis recti to figure out what you were referring to… it wasn’t obvious to me in the photos.
    good luck to you as you figure out how to be comfortable int eh skin you are in. *hugs*

  • Veronica Tuesday, August 20, 2013, 5:40 am

    You look beautiful! But yet, I know exactly the feeling of a changed body. My youngest daughter is 7 months now, and still the skin on my tummy is very loose (not to mention the stripes). I had also sort of diastasis recti, not so severe though, but with the right kind of work out you should be just fine (no sit-ups, but other core-strengthening movements). I myself have started working out at home with Zuzana Light (www.zuzkalight.com). She makes these short (15-20 min) superintense at-home-workouts, and this kind of working out is just perfect for me. I’m almost in better shape than before the pregnancies (two of them)! A well functioning and strong body is easier to feel good about (and you will also have more energy to take care of your baby), and as a bonus – it also looks kinda good! :)

    Good luck with the process of feeling good about yourself again!! <3

  • Autumn Tuesday, August 20, 2013, 9:10 am

    I know that it’s hard to be comfortable in your skin after having a baby a lot of the time, but I just say the way you see yourself isn’t how the rest of us are seeing you.
    From what I can tell your breasts aren’t sagging at all! Like… I’d kill for them. (Okay maybe not kill, but I would definitely like to have them) and your belly is actually really nice. I would wear a bikini as often as I could if I had your belly!
    Try to be kind to yourself, you really do look great.

  • Sarah Tuesday, August 20, 2013, 8:35 pm

    Wow, if I had your body, I’d be in a bikini all summer!!!

  • JSki Friday, August 23, 2013, 8:03 pm

    Hey there. I have a similar situation to you, except that I’ve had three babies, I’m ten years older than you, and my boobs have gone down a full cup size to an A.

    There are several stages that I went through after I had each of my children. The first was exhaustion. Always tired! And at the same time was the frustration of nothing fitting right. And finally came the realization that I could not afford the surgeries and trainers that Hollywood women get–I’m real. So are you.

    Here is what I have done to come to terms with my soft belly and scars. I hope it helps.

    1. I have taken the time to reevaluate my pre-mommy style versus my mommy style. I’m still young and attractive and slender. I will never wear crop tops like I did before. But! I can still be edgy and sexy without showing all of my skin. On days when I’m bloated I wear flowy tops that help hide my imperfections and jeans with a belt to show off my hips.

    2. I have mirror fasts. That is, I take an entire week where I do not permit myself to study myself in the mirror. I do my makeup, hair, get dressed, but I am not allowed to criticize myself. This is still hard, but I’m learning to feel good about myself for who I am and not what I think I see.

    I totally understand where you’re coming from. You feel ugly, but are afraid to bring it up because there are others less fortunate. I have had my curvier girlfriends come down on me because I’ve complained. “You shouldn’t be talking. At least you’re skinny!” We’re all in the same boat. Maybe just work at changing your mindset of what you think you need to be. Reinvent yourself. Do something crazy like cut your hair into a great new ‘do, or dye it. Or pierce something. By 1 year post-partum you’ll start to feel human again.

    <3

  • Anysia Tuesday, October 29, 2013, 12:19 pm

    You are so beautiful!!! Don’t judge yourself too harshly, six months feels like a long time to someone who wants to be back to normal but it takes longer than that for most post pregnancy bodies to bounce back. I’m 24 and had my baby when I was 21. I’ve been where you are so I can tell you that most likely you will wear that bikini again. If you take great care of yourself(rest, diet & exercise) I think you will be a lot more satisfied this time next year.

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