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So worth it (Anonymous)

May 6, 2008

I’m a 25yr old mummy of two amazing children. Before I became pregnant I lived in bikinis and tube tops, showing off my flat, toned tummy at any opportunity. But at 22 when my son was born by emergency c-section weighing 9lbs 3ozs, I quickly realised those days were well and truly over. My tummy was riddled with stretchmarks and loose skin but all that mattered to me was that my little boy was alive after a very traumatic delivery. My son was diagnosed with cerebral palsy at 5wks old and the heartbreak of watching him fight through sezuires and many many hospital admissions made me drop all 60lbs of my pregnancy weight within a matter of weeks. I was still pumping and breasfeeding as much as I could so that he could still have mummy’s milk on those long and sad days on the hospital ward. I didn’t think much of my body during his first year of life – all that mattered was him. A few weeks after our son’s 1st birthday I discovered I was pregnant again. This time with my daughter, I gained far less weight and she was born by VBAC weighing 7lbs 7ozs. She has just turned one and I have started to feel self-conscious about my body for the first time. After breastfeeding two babies my breasts have lost most of their substance but I am just so proud to have been able to breastfeed them that my breast shape doesn’t bother me too much at all. What I’ve really been struggling with is my new tummy. My husband still thinks I am beautiful and loves my whole body, but I can’t help but feel envious of friends I know who have more kids than me and have no stretchmarks or loose skin whatsoever! But at the end of it all, it was so worth it. My children give me so much joy and enrich my life more than I ever could have dreamed. I love them and I love the body that carried and gave life to them. I know my new body will take some getting used to but I think by posting here I may have just taken the first step on a journey to acceptance. I’m so glad I’m not alone.



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9 Responses to “So worth it (Anonymous)”

  1. Sarah P. Says:
    May 6th, 2008 at 1:31 pm

    Sweetie, you look beautiful. I honestly don’t see any loose skin. I see itty BITTY TEENY TINY little stretchmarks that I wouldn’t have noticed if I wasn’t looking for them. Yes your breasts have sagged, but PREGNANCY alone makes breasts sag. Not breastfeeding. All of your friends that you mention have saggy breasts. Thank God for bras, huh? You look so gorgeous and have such a tiny little waist, if I was in your body I would be in a bikini from May til September!!! You are truly lucky to look that GOOD!

  2. donna Says:
    May 6th, 2008 at 5:55 pm

    You look great! I’ve never even had a baby and you look firmer than me! Go out and rock that bikini!

  3. miranda Says:
    May 6th, 2008 at 11:07 pm

    Hey :) I don’t know where your son is at in his life, but I just wanted you to know that he’s not alone! My husbands cousin has CP as well. She was told she wouldn’t live, wouldn’t crawl, walk, etc. She has had to have a few surgeries to get to where she is but she can now walk on her own, and although behind in school, is a very happy pre teen!!!

    Believe in yourself as a mom, your little one as a person, and your family…you’ll be fine! I don’t know where the road will take you, but good luck on it!

  4. Aliyah'sMommy04 Says:
    May 7th, 2008 at 9:29 am

    Your body looks amazing, forget saggy breasts, it happens. And don’t be envious of your friends, i wish i looked half as good as you do and i would flaunt it to let the whole world know….Your stomach is amazing, if you don’t like it then do exercise and drink lots of water, some of it could be water weight gain, or retaining extra fluid.

  5. vanessa Says:
    May 8th, 2008 at 11:23 am

    I have a 14 month old daughter who I am still breastfeeding (only once a day) and I have been feeling the same way about my breasts. I looked at your picture though and though, hey, that’s how my breasts look…and maybe thats not that bad because yours look pretty good. It reminded me that we are always overly critical of ourselves, and when we see others like us it puts things back into perspective. So, you look great. I am happy you shared your photos because now I feel I look good too!

  6. Rachel Says:
    May 9th, 2008 at 1:41 am

    You totally can still be a bikini mom! Halter top bikinis help with lift and your body is amazing anyway!

    Gorgeous!

  7. Stephen Says:
    May 9th, 2008 at 6:25 pm

    You took a risk in letting others see the picture of your breasts. I just want you to know I think they’re lovely. Best of everything to you and your family.

  8. heather Says:
    May 13th, 2008 at 9:04 am

    your breast look EXACTLY like mine i breastfed one baby .. pretty similar on the body too.. i desperatly miss the fullness of my boobs.. and althought i really want another baby.. im scared incase the stretchmarks get worse. my boobs cant..

    dont be disheartened tho.. there are woman out ther that have never had kids and look far far worse through lack of care for their bodies… x

  9. Paula Says:
    May 13th, 2008 at 11:43 am

    VBAC!!! HOW FREAKIN’ AWESOME!

    Dude, you look good!

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