This was my first pregnancy and my son turned a year old last month. Thanks!
I was dating a man on and off for two years. He’s about ten years older than me (I’m in my 20s and he’s in his 30s) but he can be rather immature. We broke up and got back together a lot. We always had great sex and we were very attracted to each other.
When I was 25, I got pregnant. We had broken up three days before. Initially he thought that I would have an abortion so he told me that he’d stand by me no matter what. When I decided to keep the baby, he got really mean. He said, “Don’t think that this means we’re getting back together,” and pressured me to get an abortion. I didn’t give in to the pressure. Throughout the pregnancy, he gradually became more accepting of my choice but he was still an ass about it. After the baby was born, if I asked my ex for any help, he would tell me that I was the one who wanted a baby and to deal with it, even though he made the choice to be involved in our son’s life.
He had also chosen not to sleep with anyone else while I was pregnant out of respect for me. That respect apparently didn’t extend to the postpartum period. When our son was three weeks old, my ex started sleeping with someone who was younger and thinner than me. I was devastated when I found out even though he said that he wasn’t pursuing a relationship with her. I told him that I wanted to get back together so we could be a family, and he said that he wasn’t attracted to me anymore. My body had been through a lot of changes. Even my belly button was different for f-sake! It really hurt to hear that someone who had been unable to keep his hands off of me for two years before I got pregnant was no longer attracted to me.
It’s been a lot of work to feel confident about myself again. I gained a lot of weight during the pregnancy and I feel good that I’ve lost a lot of it, but I don’t feel good about my loose skin. I feel good that I can wear my pre-pregnancy jeans now, but not so good that my belly and love-handles spill out of them. A lot of guys hit on me, but they’re mostly guys who I’m not interested in. I haven’t had sex since I found out I was pregnant, so it’s been almost two years. I dated somebody for a little bit but I have a new policy now of making sure that a guy isn’t an asshole before I sleep with him. (I don’t think that this guy was necessarily an asshole, but things just kind of fizzled before it got to that point.)
I’ve realized that my ex didn’t reject me because there was anything wrong with me; he was the one who had issues. Maybe it was his issues with responsibility or maybe he just watches too much porn. Either way, to hell with him! I just hope that he’ll be a good father to our wonderful little boy.
Here I am at 27 years old, one year and one month postpartum in my pre-pregnancy jeans. They’re a bit tighter than they were before I got pregnant.