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Question (Anonymous)

May 27, 2010

Hi there. I’m absolutely in love with this website, and all the open minded and supportive women!
I’m currently looking into a tummy tuck and breast augmentation. I’m looking for personal experiences, pictures, cost info payment plan ect…
Also, I have 2 children that would be (around) 1 And 3 (maybe a little older?) I would have help at home but is it even possible at that age? And how long does it take to heal enough to care for 2 toddlers?
ALL Thoughts are welcome as I’m not set on it nor against it, just something to think about. Thank you!

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18 Responses to “Question (Anonymous)”

  1. me Says:
    May 27th, 2010 at 10:26 am

    go to this site

    realself.com

    it has “mommy makeovers” stories and photos from REAL people, not celebs…its a great site.
    hope you like it.

  2. Erika Says:
    May 27th, 2010 at 10:31 am

    I think that you have the right to do whatever you want to your body, but I question the appropriateness of discussing plastic surgery on this site. I have come to this site over an over again to aid my acceptance and appreciation for this new mama body I live in. Reading the stories of countless women who are in the same boat and supporting one another in this journey to love and acceptance of our bodies has been immeasurably helpful and inspiring for me. I think it sets us all back in that journey when someone on here suggests plastic surgery as a means to that end. Maybe others disagree, I would like to hear everyones thoughts!

  3. Kate Says:
    May 27th, 2010 at 12:17 pm

    I actually think its fine to discuss that here. The beauty of this website is that we can celebrate women and build each other up. I have come to terms with the fact that without surgery, my stomach will forver be saggy and wrinkly. I also know that if I do have surgery, my stomach may be flat, but many marks will still be there and it will always be a reminder of what my body did for my children. For me, surgery will not bring perfection, but it will bring comfort when I don’t have to pull up my pants so that I dont have physical discomfort from my skin hanging over them. I will still have to “accept” the fact that by body was changed. This site is here (correct me if I am wrong) so that we as women can be there for one another, support each other, and so that we know that we are all beautiful regardless of what we have been through…not just so that we can learn to be happy with our stretch marks and loose skin; it goes beyond that.

  4. Sarah EP Says:
    May 27th, 2010 at 12:24 pm

    I’d have to agree with Erika. This site is about acceptance of our mama bodies…whatever form or shape they are in at the moment. If you want to do that to yourself, that’s your choice…but this is not the format IMO to discuss those things. Sets us back. I’m happy with my mama body and I don’t want to go back.

  5. marie Says:
    May 27th, 2010 at 1:16 pm

    personally i think its fine to have a discussion about plastic surgery on this site. This is a place where we can openly talk about what our bodies have gone through during and after pregnancy and how we are coping (or not coping) with those changes. I do not think plastic surgey is appropriate for everyone…and I certainly don’t think cosmetic surgery is ever “needed” after pregnancy. Having said that, I have gone under the knife for a tummy tuck for my sanity’s sake, and a breast reduction, for my back’s sake! I would strongly advocate visiting a counselor or therapist to discuss body image issues prior to having any kind of cosmetic surgery. While it can help you gain back a little confidence, there are other ways to do that as well…and it’s certainly not a fix all. My tummy tuck was $9,000 and my breast reduction was $6,000 (covered by insurance). The downside is that you are going to need a lot of help. For the first 6 weeks you will not be able to lift anything over 5 pounds…including your little ones. You will also have a disgusting drain hanging out of your tummy! It is a big decisi.on but I wish you luck…I hope you do what you think is right for you. you can find my after photos by typing in the search breast reduction…it is under the title fixing myself? God Bless

  6. sarah Says:
    May 27th, 2010 at 2:06 pm

    I’m with kate. There should be no reason for soam readers to view postings like this as a set back. If you are happy with your mama body that’s great- obviously this poster is not and we should embrace and accept her in whatever she choses.

  7. Anna Says:
    May 28th, 2010 at 9:16 am

    My stomach is flabby and while I don’t want plastic surgery (at least as of now) I certainly wouldn’t hold it against someone who does. I am one of those who believe plastic surgery should be the final or last resort, after developing healthy, wholesome eating habits and an exercise routine.

  8. mamato2 Says:
    May 28th, 2010 at 2:03 pm

    I have a consultation on Monday for both of those, and will be asking a lot of questions! I will let you know what he says. I have 2 children, a 20 month old and a 6 year old so I am also curious if I can manage everything.

  9. Rachael Says:
    May 28th, 2010 at 5:14 pm

    I think it is totally fine to discuss this topic on here! There is nothing wrong with a woman wanting a tummy tuck after having a child. Yes, its a site to celebrate “the shape of a mother,” but having a tummy tuck does not take away from the fact that a women has went through the experience of motherhood. It is a personal decision and we as woman should not view any other mother as less of a woman (or mother) for wanting to change what has been done to her body through pregnancy. Her body would have still went through pregnancy & another experience as well… a tummy tuck. We should accept one another and support one another as women! This site is the perfect site to discuss such matters. If there is a problem with someone asking something like this then don’t read or reply to it. It makes that person feel a bit horrible for asking especially if their intentions were not to offend.

  10. Sarah EP Says:
    May 29th, 2010 at 9:11 am

    Rachael, The poster said all thoughts are welcome. All thoughts, so I gave her mine. My thought was agreeing with another poster. No one said anything to make her feel horrible, nor can you MAKE someone feel anything. She asked, I responded. No one said anything horrible or jumped down her throat.

    Isn’t this site about accepting ourselves? Not about trying to fit an unattainable, airbrushed ideal? Isn’t that the point here? What does plastic surgery, especially tummy tucks, have to do with acceptance?

    I’m asking because I want to understand where you’re coming from on this. I really want to make sense of it, because for me…I’m not seeing the parallel.

  11. van Says:
    May 29th, 2010 at 9:14 am

    I think the whole point of this site it to help women accept their bodies for the way they are. To embrace women and make them see that we are all different. Taking care of your body is good. but promoting surgeries and extreme dieting are not healthy.. and go against what this site is for!

  12. Mina Says:
    May 29th, 2010 at 4:01 pm

    One way I use this site to challenge myself is to monitor my reactions to the posts and comments of others…

    I feel that I will know I have fully accepted myself when I can react to ALL other posts without feeling bitter, angry, jealous, etc…and I’m not totally there yet (I will be though…if it takes me until I’m very old!!)

    In this case, I admit I had a pang of jealousy. I don’t want surgery. But I sometimes feel jealous when I see that someone else has the fortitude to take the plunge and go for it. I know that probably doesn’t make complete sense, but it’s my knee jerk reaction.

    But because it gives me the opportunity to react & think…I think it’s fine to have it on the site.

    A peripheral friend of mine just had a tummy tuck and breast reduction/lift. My first reaction was utter jealousy. After talking with her, I realized she had a 5.5 inch separation in her abdominal muscles, which was corrected by surgery, and the weight of her large breasts was killing her back. She feels SO much better now (she looks better too).

    Her decision to have surgery had nothing to do with me. And I am happy for her that she feels so much better. It’s not the solution for my body (and for all I know she’s jealous of that), but it was for her, so I’m happy for her. But sometimes I have to work at feeling that way.

  13. Shannon Says:
    May 29th, 2010 at 9:18 pm

    I have 4 children and underwent a muscle repair with a tummy tuck last December 2009. My abdominal muscles were separated 4 inches and I had an umbilical hernia, which made the surgery medically necessary. My youngest was 19 months old at the time of surgery. Based on personal experience, I would wait until your youngest is older. Tummy tucks are major surgery and it has taken me a while to recover. Five months later and I am finally starting to feel somewhat normal again. You shouldn’t lift anything heavy for at least 6 weeks after surgery, so you will need help that entire time with your children. Wait until they are older and don’t need to be held or carried around, even holding my now 2 year-old still hurts and I’m sorry that I didn’t wait longer to enjoy and appreciate being able to hold her and pick her up. It also was very stressful for the whole family with my recovery because I couldn’t do the normal mommy things with the children and around the house that I was used to doing for a long time. Otherwise, I am very happy that I had the surgery, especially because it was medically necessary. Just remember that any type of plastic surgery will help your physical appearance, but it cannot change your emotions. Even if your stomach is flat and breasts are nice and perky again, it will help some with your self esteem but it cannot make you a happy and content person. Blessings with your decision!

  14. tinifer Says:
    May 30th, 2010 at 9:14 pm

    Dear anonymous,
    I understand your feelings, it’s hard not to long for the quick fix, but keep in mind….your kids are young. I would question first how much “hard work” you put into getting your body into the “shape” you want it to be, long before surgery. I myself have five children. I did not “bounce back” but I work hard and eat well. About a year ago a good friend of mine went in for the very surgeries you are talking about. Last week I sent a bikini pic to a few friends to ask their opinions on which one they liked best (I was in the dressing room), later this friend told me she wished so much to have my abs….this is a girl who had a full tummy tuck, and while her skin is now taught she’s right, my abs are so much more defined and strong, something you cannot get from a surgery, but from putting in the work it takes to get there. So, again, my concern for you is that you give it time and hard work. The stretch marks on my tummy are so abundant that I joke, saying I use to date Freddy Krueger:) Do I like them, NO, but do I love knowing that I look the way I do because of what I’ve accomplished, heck yeah! As far as cost and healing time, going off of my friend’s experience: the cost was just under 18k and we do not live in CA or NY:) she had a drainage tube coming out of her gut for a couple of weeks. Her breasts took about 2 months to heal (albeit she has scars) and her tummy took quite some time. The scar on her tummy goes from the back of one hip bone to the other. She has a fake belly button and she still has stretch marks, but they are pulled tight (this was not a “heavy” girl). She is pretty much satisfied with the results. You cannot run or lift weights after these surgeries for quite some time, so if you are in prime health you should take that into consideration as well. However, I will say, that if you give it time and put your heart and soul into being in great health and you still feel un-accepting of your own body, then do what you need to do. I would also consider the outcome on your children (later in life) if they are girls. Just food for thought:) Best of luck, no matter what your choice:)

  15. iraiosc Says:
    May 31st, 2010 at 2:19 pm

    I don’t want to explain today my reasons to repair, simply doctors advise me i need to repair the hernias and diastasis recti.

    I only have one baby, who has his second birthday after my operation. First 2 weeks he were with his grandpas, then he returned and i did completly normal life, with the big belt everyday…
    Since that day I haven’t more help, grandpas and friends live 60km. from my home… so… we do all job… and i feel good. Only the first 2 weeks are heavys.

    Then i don’t take really heavy weights, but i do everything (i haven’t started to do some exercise-sport), i stay all day standing at job, i come back to doing all the work at home…

    Today, 2 months after operation i feel so good and i can say that i have no help with the kid, only my husband and i.

    Take care of yourselve and remember that the surgeon hurts hard the firts days… i were always dreaming that hurts pass, the result… and 2 weeks later i felt a lot better… now i’m so happy, stronger than before, secure and without shapes and bundles.

    Good luck and be strong with your decission, we still being beautiful persons after all.
    kisses (besos!!)

    PD you can see my pics and story!!
    http://theshapeofamother.com/blog/my-4th-belly-iraiosc/

  16. Jesse Says:
    June 2nd, 2010 at 7:54 am

    I also second the motion to at least wait until your youngest is a bit older, unless you can count on outside support coming into help for a good length of time. Basing this on my observation of others who’ve had it done IRL. Good luck!

  17. Paula Says:
    June 9th, 2010 at 9:21 am

    Sarah EP,

    You said that that no one could “make someone feel anything”. If you believe this is true, why would the question this woman ask “set us back”?

  18. Paula Says:
    June 9th, 2010 at 9:35 am

    I have to agree with tinifer. A tummy tuck won’t give you abs, definition or strength. The best tummy tuck result I’ve ever seen were from this woman (a mom) who trained SUPER hard after the tummy tuck to achieve abs and really attractive definition. After she completely healed but before she started training. She just looked like a chubby person who had a flat stomach. Two months of training and eating well really gave definition to her hips and buttocks. The fat also melted from her face, shoulders and back. She was also a lot stronger and energetic.

    So I guess what I’m trying to say here is that tummy tucks are not fix-alls. I would train really hard to develop muscle and eat clean to stop packing on the fat…and then get a tummy tuck. Then I’d train some more and keep eating clean.

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